Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
I think as long as you're attracted to the individual...physical compatibility will follow.
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
A lot of people i know who are married based compatibility on things other than looks eg. person is genuine, caring, or even a really good friend, listener. Even myself, I do get attracted to certain features of a person but it's amazing how quickly that fades away for me. I know if I marry someone with looks in mind, I will prob run out of feelings very soon for him.
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
Physical compatibility matters a lot. Sure some people fall in love regardless of these considerations but whenever one partner is significantly more attractive, the other has to make up for in other departments; bring something else to the table; or has to be the one to make more effort in the relationship. The more attractive partner is often the one who controls the relationship (the sexual and intimate part of it)
These terms are not talked about or explicitly agreed upon. They only become evident when you analyze them and its totally possible for both of them to be completely happy about it.
Physical compatibility also ensures that both partners are secure and well-adjusted in the relationship. Both partners will have the same desirability to the outside world, get the same attention from the opposite sex and have the same opportunities outside the relationship. These things ultimately do matter whether you like it or not.
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
Physical comtability matters alot in arranged marriages. We don't know the person before entering into the relationship and we get to spend a small time with the person before the rishta is finalised. If there is physical compatibility between them, they both will tend to give each other reasonable chance to identify chemistry between them and will go extra miles to save the relationship.
In love marriages, couples don't give physical compatibility importance but people around them do notice lack of such compatibility which is obviously not a big issue for the couples.
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
Physical comtability matters alot in arranged marriages. We don't know the person before entering into the relationship and we get to spend a small time with the person before the rishta is finalised. If there is physical compatibility between them, they both will tend to give each other reasonable chance to identify chemistry between them and will go extra miles to save the relationship.
In love marriages, couples don't give physical compatibility importance but people around them do notice lack of such compatibility which is obviously not a big issue for the couples.
How ironic.
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
I think in arrange marriages physical compatibility matters as thats where you kinda start off.
However, I dont think that just because you are physically compatibile you're going to be a strong couple on other levels.
I know a couple where they arent compatible lookwise or personalitywise .. At the same time I know a couple which are not compatible lookwise, but are so personality wise .. and then I know a couple which are compatible lookwise, but not personality wise..
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
Do you folks think physical compatibility also matters? I know this is not the sole constituent nor cant it must be, but well, it always sounds nice that both of them look "good" together". then what about those who may not make an ideal couple looks wise. I mean when a husband is very very ordinary looking and wife is stunning or when a very very handsome man may marry a very ordinary looking girl. Obviously people would fall in love with the soul of their mate, still what if they do not really "match outwardly". Have you seen or heard stories about such successful couples? please share your views.
Yes, physical compatibility do play role, but not in every case.
I personally believe that attraction is important, and both should look good when together.
In our culture, husband are usually ordinary looking guy. :D
I also noticed many handsome men are usually ended with ordinary looking girl.
it is my understanding that one factor of good looking is not helpful for whole life, you can look at other attributes of your spouse like the way hs/she talk, fashion sense, sincerity, faithfulness, sensitiveness, loyalty, making happy, etc
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
Physical compatibility matters a lot. Sure some people fall in love regardless of these considerations but whenever one partner is significantly more attractive, the other has to make up for in other departments; bring something else to the table; or has to be the one to make more effort in the relationship. The more attractive partner is often the one who controls the relationship (the sexual and intimate part of it)
These terms are not talked about or explicitly agreed upon. They only become evident when you analyze them and its totally possible for both of them to be completely happy about it.
Physical compatibility also ensures that both partners are secure and well-adjusted in the relationship. Both partners will have the same desirability to the outside world, get the same attention from the opposite sex and have the same opportunities outside the relationship. These things ultimately do matter whether you like it or not.
now thats one realistic and not platonic analysis. thank you. I'd agree with Ashi too, definitely even if the couple doesnt bother, people always make comments about them and all that.
physical compatibility is important in a sense that it frees you from any kind of complex it be inferiority or superiority complex. when uzair says the one physically more rather much more attractive partner will always control and maybe take advantage too, of the emotional insecurity of the other, it definitely creates imbalanced relationship. And talking in general terms, if not 100%, these things do happen and do matter in 90% cases atleast.
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
^
i wasnt necessarily referring to an inferiority complex.
The relationship usually revolves around the more attractive partner. The feelings of the more attractive partner have more importance. The less attractive partner has to give romance to and 'court' the more attractive one, vie for the others attention, and even feel that sex / affection has to be earned.
Its not about the more attractive partner consciously taking advantage of the other bcos both are just ok with the terms.. they both signed up for it. And secondly the less attractive partner usually brings something else to the table which can balance out the relationship in other aspects.
It really puts into perspective what some goodlooking women mean when they claim they dont want a man who is too goodlooking...just someone who is OK-looking.
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
Physical compatibility matters a lot. Sure some people fall in love regardless of these considerations but whenever one partner is significantly more attractive, the other has to make up for in other departments; bring something else to the table; or has to be the one to make more effort in the relationship. The more attractive partner is often the one who controls the relationship (the sexual and intimate part of it)
These terms are not talked about or explicitly agreed upon. They only become evident when you analyze them and its totally possible for both of them to be completely happy about it.
Physical compatibility also ensures that both partners are secure and well-adjusted in the relationship. Both partners will have the same desirability to the outside world, get the same attention from the opposite sex and have the same opportunities outside the relationship. These things ultimately do matter whether you like it or not.
This does not speak for everyone. It depends on what you and your partner are looking for. I know for a FACT i will not be happy with even the MOST GOOD LOOKING MAN if he is not compatible with me on a mental level. I look for mental compatibility wayy before physical or emotional. A guy with a good mind attracts me a lot and i know that if I meet a person like that, I will be very happy and keep him happy. On the other hand, looks do attract me to a guy but it fades away quick. I know I will hardly put effort into a man who is not mentally compatible with me...
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
well hello hoolahooh queen i'm a guy with a goood mind
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
now thats one realistic and not platonic analysis. thank you. I'd agree with Ashi too, definitely even if the couple doesnt bother, people always make comments about them and all that.
physical compatibility is important in a sense that it frees you from any kind of complex it be inferiority or superiority complex.
I disagree. One becomes free from any sort of complex depending on HOW THEIR PARTNER treats them NOT from physical compatibility. If two partners make each other feel beautiful, they will not have any sort of inferiority or superiority complex.
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
well hello hoolahooh queen i'm a guy with a goood mind
Then how come you can't spell my name correctly?
Re: When we talk about compatibility in a couple...
This does not speak for everyone. It depends on what you and your partner are looking for. I know for a FACT i will not be happy with even the MOST GOOD LOOKING MAN if he is not compatible with me on a mental level. I look for mental compatibility wayy before physical or emotional. A guy with a good mind attracts me a lot and i know that if I meet a person like that, I will be very happy and keep him happy. On the other hand, looks do attract me to a guy but it fades away quick. I know I will hardly put effort into a man who is not mentally compatible with me...
I disagree. One becomes free from any sort of complex depending on HOW THEIR PARTNER treats them NOT from physical compatibility. If two partners make each other feel beautiful, they will not have any sort of inferiority or superiority complex.
Notice that when you state your opinion you are thinking from the perspective of the more attractive partner. There are going to be subtle ways where you will have the upper hand. you will not realize those ways/things because the more attractive partner takes them for granted. So its good as long as you are the one to re-assure your partner that (s)he is desirable. But at the end of the day, your partner is dependent upon you and is at your mercy. People are not disconnected from the outside world in this day and age. Your partner is only desirable to one person (you), but you can be desired by an endless number of people. upsetting thought aint it if you are at the other end ?