WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

Lifestyle Relationships
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how does a woman or a man feel when the spouse is late from work or does no come home?
of course a sane person wont blame work for this.
but the attitude fo the spouse.
if anyone feels comfortable sharing, what are the ways in which people are handling it or does it come to a point when marriage becomes at risk?
how do the parents of each spouse intervene and fairly deal with the one who is wrongful?

share your thoughts on this, if you like.

best,
Dushwari

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

Are you some sort of a philosopher? All your questions always have such deep meaning to them.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

couldn't you have just asked "WHEN SPOUSE CHEATS"?

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

Yeah you cant say just "does not come home"....building trading floors is something you have to do at night after the traders go home. Many people in tech fields need to do their "thing" after hours. So those who are in the know think "no big deal" when spouse isnt home - an upgrade, an installation, a big problem with overnight batch jobs etc.

When its for a differnt reason, time to either visit a marriage counselor or call it quits.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

If the spouse is consistently late, every day then...
It could be either that he/she is cheating ):
Or he/she wants to show everyone the attitude that "I can come home whenever I like and you can't do anything about it because I'm going to accuse you of not trusting me"

I'm glad you brought this question up, because I definelty want to hear what everyone thinks about this situation.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

...if i'm ever late home, i'll blame it on the weather. :D

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

thanks desigirl786.
human condition has no front, no matter how much people try to hide it all.
a simple query it was and is.
and it relates to many young honest and dishonest couples.
so i asked.

best,

Dushwari

Eye Makeup!
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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

what mamaof3 said.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

Hubby always calls and updates when he is late which is hardly ever. Hmm, if there are other problems in the lives of couples, coming late may become an issue. I think if someone has a secret agenda, there would be other suspicious "symptoms" or the latecomer will eventually run out of alibis.

I have...
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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

mash - Allah, Niksik. that is the way it should be. :)

you are right about secret dishonor becoming evident sooner than later.

Dushwari

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

I 2nd that.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

I don't think my wife has to worry about me coming home late. I always come home before time and surprise her. I am normally home by 4:45 but sometimes I am home by 4:15 - 4:30. One some days, like this past Friday, not too many people were at work due to Good Friday, I was home after Jumma. She was shocked and scared to answer the door thinking who it may be :D

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

..or...it could be that one works in a demanding field where you have to put in crazy hours not only to succeed, but to survive. ask ppl in investment banking, consulting, advertising jobs..when you have a busy time...u have to do what you have to do, and it can go on for weeks, and months. or the person is in a team that is short staffed..to hire, train and get ppl fully up to speed takes time and until then everyone has to take on additional work, which means, additional time

secondly what is the definition of late, 8, 9, 10? what.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

It really depends on the situation- never a bad idea to let the wife know you're gonna be home late though....

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

Husband and wife should have enough courage and confidence in his/her spouse and own character that they can grab him/her from collar and bring him/her back home.

If not than they need to know each other more.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

shay, a couple of things,

1- my post was specifically addressing that the reasons listed were not the only reasons.

2- you cant always call, majority of time you can but there are situations where its tough to do, and in such cases its better that the person can focus on task at hand and not getting sidetracked thinking of ways he can get away to place a call

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

^x2, i didn't even read your post before i posted.. i was just replying to dushwari's thing.. but i do agree with #2.. even though it is a good idea to just call and let the spouse know (esp if it's something that does not happen often) it's not always possible to.. i know i don't always do it until my mom calls and reminds me that it's late.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

As I said previously, I worked in a field where night-time and weekend work was inevitable. And because my hubby is in the same field, I'm more capable of understanding the stress that comes with the job and its been a blessing for both of us. We have seen many marriages run into trouble when the spouse who is at home, waiting and does not fully understand the requirements of the job. I mean imagine a project you've worked on for months, its mere hours till it "goes live", there are a million bugs to work out and your spouse is calling every 20 minutes asking where the heck are you.

A wandering spouse who keeps later hours than their job requires is one thing. A stressful career is quite another and it takes love, cooperation and understanding between the two parties to know the difference.

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

Would be of concern in old days..........with every one having cell phones today.......this kind of anxiety does not exist......I don't think.......:)

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Re: WHEN SPOUSE DOES NOT COME HOME

when ever i'm late, i get calls every 10 mintues till i reach home :CareBear:( even after telling her it will take more than 1 hr )
after that she will compare with her friends husbands and says he always come home at 5 and even don't go on some fridays, are you the only one who is working