Re: When should disciplining start?
Peace All
We should first define the term "discipline" ...
According to the hadith we should instil love for the first 7 years then discipline for the next 7, and then befriend our children.
This love is different from the discipline, but it can be confused to be the same thing.
Children in the early ages require everything from us. We are but slaves to them. They are too young to understand the requirement of 'instruction' and should we do this to them if they are too young they will not be well grounded. Rather whatever they wish for we should facilitate for their safety, and for their learning, but we can only direct them to our wills in coercive manners.
The time when we must bring direct discipline is when they are quite a bit older when they have been grounded in their love from us.
To discipline there are two necessary conditions:
a) To instruct the child
b) To reward or punish based on the acting upon of the instruction
We cannot possibly do this when the babies are born. And we should only do this when they are old enough to show guilt, shyness, compassion and charity. Kids in their tender ages are selfish and need to be and parents aught to fulfil their selfish needs or else there could be serious psychological implications in later life. This does not mean we let the kids get spoilt, rather it means we influence the children by non-direct methods so they conform to our wishes without them acutally realising it.
After 7 they need to realise it!