Re: when rishta comes...
Financial stability can be judged in many different more subtle ways. I am sorry but it sounds CRUDE to ask for bank statements and bank balance.
Re: when rishta comes...
hi there,
i was thinking abt asking some personal questions to the guy by the girl's father like
asking to show his bank statement asking to show his degrees his salary slips etc...
is it appropriate????
its not appropriate at all to ask such questions directly because they'll think that this family is greedy and doesn't trust us at all. if this is worrying the girl/her family too much then this is what they should do
asking to show his bank statement
his salary slips etc...
the girl or her parents can ask what is your post? eg if he say i work in a bank. so you could ask on which post and whatever he says should give you a rough idea of his salary. plus if the still isn't satisfied then perhaps she can go herself to his workplace, for example a bank, and say i would like to meet Mr X who is a manager here. they will tell something that he is off, no such person works here etc etc.
asking to show his degrees
again same as above. if he recently has graduated etc then his uni can be contacted.
on the other hand if the girl's family still are not sure then they should clearly but politely say that in our family when girls and guys get married we tend to show and see bank statements, degrees, salary slips. so it would be appropriate if we could see yours and you can see ours so that both parties are ok with everything (still i'll say this is not appropriate but however they wish)
Re: when rishta comes...
its not appropriate at all to ask such questions directly because they'll think that this family is greedy and doesn't trust us at all. if this is worrying the girl/her family too much then this is what they should do
asking to show his bank statement his salary slips etc...
the girl or her parents can ask what is your post? eg if he say i work in a bank. so you could ask on which post and whatever he says should give you a rough idea of his salary. plus if the still isn't satisfied then perhaps she can go herself to his workplace, for example a bank, and say i would like to meet Mr X who is a manager here. they will tell something that he is off, no such person works here etc etc.
asking to show his degrees again same as above. if he recently has graduated etc then his uni can be contacted.
on the other hand if the girl's family still are not sure then they should clearly but politely say that in our family when girls and guys get married we tend to show and see bank statements, degrees, salary slips. so it would be appropriate if we could see yours and you can see ours so that both parties are ok with everything (still i'll say this is not appropriate but however they wish)
But isn't it better safe then sorry?
Re: when rishta comes...
But isn't it better safe then sorry?
sorry i didnot get that?
Re: when rishta comes...
Again, the bank balance may not be a good measure of his stability. I would rather know if he has the means to become successful in life...like his education.
Re: when rishta comes...
Again, the bank balance may not be a good measure of his stability. I would rather know if he has the means to become successful in life...like his education.
a great one sofar, agreed
Re: when rishta comes...
But isn't it better safe then sorry?
yeah, thats what i am trying to find out, how to be at safe side rather then being sorry later on
Re: when rishta comes...
so can a guy's father ask for the girl's measurements???
Like girl side is interested in guy's financial stability.....can the guy's side also verify wat the guy is interested in??
Re: when rishta comes...
If I were a guy, I'd be HIGHLY wary of marrying a girl if she or her family ask for my bank statements. My thought process would go toward gold digger
At the same time, found out as much as you can, indirectly and subtly.
'
Re: when rishta comes...
so can a guy's father ask for the girl's measurements???
Like girl side is interested in guy's financial stability.....can the guy's side also verify wat the guy is interested in??
only if the girl's side can also ask for the guy's measurements...
In return the guy's side can inquire into the girl's education as well, if she can cook or what other home-making skills does she have etc.
Re: when rishta comes…
but the guy’s relevant measurements are his ‘salary slip’…‘bank statement’…‘authentic degree’ ..his ‘Genuine ID’..etc etc…no 
??
Re: when rishta comes...
but the guy's relevant measurements are his 'salary slip'...'bank statement'...'authentic degree' etc etc...no??
nope these aren't measurements... these are his skills or his financial state, which can help the girl's family gauge his success in future. Personally I do think it would be too crude to ask for bank statements or salary slips... but there are ways to find out about the authenticity of his degrees... because these kind of frauds are quite common now-a-days.
Research shows that financial instability is the highest common factor in unsuccessful marriages, not the girl's measurements or her physical attributes.
Re: when rishta comes…
No, he may not. First of all, what a creep of a father asking for his future DIL’s measurements! Second, will he be providing his son’s measurements?
PakWoman! How dare you come up with a sensible post! What is wrong with you? 
The last thing NomiCA needs is logic!
Re: when rishta comes...
nope these aren't measurements... these are his skills or his financial state
i didn't mean his measurements as literally......like thats the thing by which a man is measured/assessed for being eligible as a good rishta .......same as a beauty is something by which USUALLY girl is looked upon as a good rishta...... i am kinda talking about the bottomline ..stuff that 'basically' matters...
we all know what happened with shoaib malik......so that is also something to worry about from a guy's perspective..
No, he may not. First of all, what a creep of a father asking for his future DIL's measurements! Second, will he be providing his son's measurements?
oh...my bad..i wanted to say a 'guardian' or an 'elder' from guys side.....lets say some female from guy's family ask those thing..
P.S ... Yes the guy will be providing all the measurments of himself too........
Re: when rishta comes…
Wow…see thats a toughie. Now the guy has to come up with education papers, residency papers, a clean bill of health, measurements, bank statements, salary slips, proof of employment and aur janay kya kya.
And you say the girl simply has to look pretty and have a good figure?
Yeah, I can see how that would be so hard for the girl…like…totally…
Re: when rishta comes…
hahaha… really tough for girls 
Re: when rishta comes...
I'd not ask for Bank-Statement up front but doing a background check using degree, nationality papers etc are ok.
Re: when rishta comes…
you see…how much guys have to do to get a rishta??? 
P.S
(you as in generally…not addressed to any particular person)
now seriously… things can go on n on about wat u want investigate about a potential spouse…where do you draw the line??
and will you be willing to offer the same courtesy and ‘thoroughness’ of investigation to the other party?
Please do consider wat u are offering as well…before getting on a highhorse n rejecting everything and then later complaining about not being able to find a good rishta…
you need to make sure whether you are looking for an employee (in case of guy) / kaam wali maasi (in case of girl) or a person to marry and have a mutually respectful relation.
Re: when rishta comes…
Bank statements . . . LOL.
Ask him to produce cash if he fails to show a bank statement.
After all this is what really matters in a man :halo:
Re: when rishta comes...
If its meant to convince the parents of the girl that I love, I'll show it.
Also, if a girl is quite a catch, really pretty, educated and all, she'll get proposals left and right and it's basically up to her parents to choose the best guy for her, and for them everything counts.
You want the best girl out there, you have to be the best, everything counts, from your transcripts, appearance, character to your financial stability.