Re: when rishta comes…
There is a difference between a general statement that does not apply to anyone in particular versus a generalization. A generalization is when you apply a statement to a broad group of people and ascribe characteristics to the entire group and that’s precisely what you did in the first comment you opened with calling people who ask for such proof about a prospective rishta greedy and jaahil and not of a shareef tapka.
What you failed to do was read Reha’s earlier comments - she didn’t ask for proof about bank statements and finances. She suggested asking for proof of education, job and residency. The first speaks to a person’s ambition, enlightenment and career prospects, the second his financial stability and the third possibly his motive for getting married, all of which are factors considered by a family when deciding whether they should marry their daughter into a family. Reha also said that a guy’s family can ask similar questions of a girl’s family.
And again - there are different ways to do that. Some prospectives want to be asked directly, others are not so forthcoming and the families definitely need to investigate. But added to verifying this information is the need to get to know the other family directly and discover whether they have shared values and mindsets.
I’d like to think that the point of agreement between you and Reha is that neither of your families wants their child to marry into a family that is a liar and is seeking to deceive you. Now, it’s up to each family how they verify the information. Neither approach is wrong and neither can judge the other at fault for wanting what’s best for their child. Agreed?