when rishta comes...

[sarad]

Re: when rishta comes…

@Omer259

You give a really good example and in some cases that can happen. However, what I am saying is ,I know families who have known each other for decades. They know each and every detail about what theirs and others children are doing. They have grown up together, attended the same schools, attended the same parties, so there is no detail that they do not know about each other. So, definitely there is trust there.

There is nothing wrong with doing background checks if you do not know the family as well as I have described but there is a proper way of doing it, not asking for documentary proof, residency, salary as the confused ABCD Reha describes it. A little ettiquette lesson for Reha on how I would verify a person’s education without asking for the degree point blank. I would talk to people who studied in the same college/university, ask other friends/relatives who have gone to that college, not demand proof as Reha is suggesting.

Assuming atleast some of the members on GS are living in West, everyone is giving their perspective on the question asked, just like you gave your perspective on how things will work in Pakistan.
If this is the way things work in West for Pakistanis, let it be. Ofcourse it is not exactly like Pakistan so things will be a little different.
Also the OP only asked if it is appropriate to ask the mentioned questions. She did not claim these must be asked.

I grew up in Pakistan, spent a good part of my life there and later moved to US. We did not have an extended family or a big social circle in Pakistan for some reasons not relevant here. it is not necessary everyone in Pakistan will have one and will definitely find guy/girl among known families. So it was not an option for us to find all the rishtas in family/extended family.

And everyone goes from their experience.
We did go about investigating about this one guy. The rishta did not happen becuase the guy did not like it and said we could have asked him directly and he would have been happy to provide all the information and proof. So there are all kinds of people and everyone thinks differently.

And from your generalization, we would be a low class uneducated family. I find that very rude.