when rishta comes...

[Omer259]

Re: when rishta comes…

@Reha

Whats the difference genius?

Most people dont marry within their social circles…they marry either in family or outside of their social circles. When you get a bahir ka rishta…people you dont know…what else would you do? Why dont I see any logic in your post? I think you live in a small town or something in Pakistan…you know those place where everyone knows everyone on every gali and nukkar. So this may not apply to you.

Im not even going to address the male-owning-land and girl-being-virgin bit because I want to believe you were joking…for your sake.

The thing Ive noticed in educated families is honesty and the willingness to be as open as possible. So maybe the people you’re associating with dont care very much where their kids end up - hence no need to find out about prospective families. In more decent families, people try to keep the lines of communication open and do everything to reassure parents that their daughters will be well taken care of. This is called sharafat and class. They value their daughters too and try to understand.

In uneducated families, they dont care much and do a very careless little question-answer (nowadays called brief and discreet) session…like giving away a stray pet…as long as the prospective owner looks like he is wearing clean clothes and shaved this morning…its a GO!

So what’s the problem with living in a small town in Pakistan?. You think you are better than someone just because you live in the west. Frankly, the problem with people like you is that you have an inferiority complex. Couldn’t really cut it in Pakistan, was always envious of the rich and elite in Pakistan. So somehow you managed to immigrate to the US and now all of a sudden you think you are educated, shareef and the cream of the crop, What a joke!. Just because you live abroad does not make you superior to any Pakistani living in a big or small city. Your smug attitude towards people living in Pakistan is laughable.

The funny thing is that I have lived and studied in the west and seeing the conditions that some people like you live in, trust me there is nothing to be proud and smug about. People think that having a 2 bedroom house, a car and a college degree in the US really makes them superior to people in Pakistan. The fact is that almost everyone in the US has that even a janitor.

Now let me address your social circle issue in the US and explain why there is a such a crisis facing desi girls when it comes to marriage. The fact is that most pakistanis living in the US, live in isolated communities. There aren’t a lot of relatives and friends that they have living in the vicinity, so when it comes to marriage, they really don’t trust people too much, since people from all sorts of backgrounds have come from Pakistan (educated and Jahil, taxi drivers and Doctors), hence the full background body scan. People living in Pakistan on the other hand, have known families and friends for decades.They associate with people of similar backgrounds ( Businessmen around Businessmen, Govt workers, army, civil service around their own). They know and trust the family and do not need to say " Beta, could you show me your latest paycheck?, LOL". I totally agree with you wanting to do full background checks because it seems everyone around in your circle of friends is a fraud artist.

By the way, I am from a small town in Pakistan called Toba Tek Singh, LOL. Why don’t you pay us lowly citizens a visit so we can all come face to face with Royalty