Re: when potential rishtas come to visit
Spockie dude - you’re one loyal friend. Good for you!
Why don’t I have such loyal friends 
p.s. we were discussing our culture playing a part on brainwashing women. Not men.
and thats what i was saying all along SU 
its good to be married…just shouldnt be ones ONLY focus in life…that all i said 
…and you said culture brainwashes us and people worry about it too much and become old something something.
but hahahahhaah it was a pleasure discussing such an important matter. 
Spock dude …did U forget to polish your armour AGAIN ! 
Re: when potential rishtas come to visit
^ not nice to see members agreeing on something. I should have intervened earlier 
Re: when potential rishtas come to visit
When you talk about little girls and marriage - I think its extremely common for little girls to plan their **weddings - **they are princess for the day(s), beautiful clothes, focus of attention etc etc. Its the stuff of fantasy, lots of fun to think and dream about for little girls. They arent thinking about the actual marriage although "playing house" can be pretty common too...and this goes I think for any culture yeah?
Anyway,marriage is a normal course of life for the majority of people. Most people do plan to get married and raise a family. Just as they plan careers and everything else that they want their lives to be. Parents and "aunties" can get over-bearing about this in Desi culture lol but I think their hearts are in the right place usually since they want the best for their kids yeah? Let them go on a bit! And just go about your own life as you want it.
I do agree that people in their 40s who are not married can tend toward regret and sadness. Its because living their lives alone can be rewarding in many ways - career, money, possessions, travel. But it can become a very hollow experience without someone special to share it all with. Its fun for a while - years even...but I think the older you get, the more you truly understand and appreciate the real value of family.
Re: when potential rishtas come to visit
Can i just say i am not desperate to get married i just know many friends i can think of 3 off the top of my head who are very desirable but keep getting rejected by rishtas and all 3 are over 25, this is what i mean by its difficult to get a rishta these days.
I think i am an independant woman i have been living on my own for 3 years as i my uni is far away from my family home, i look after my own bills and finances and i own my own appartment, i can drive and travel alot by myself. This doesnt mean i dont want to get married, there are many reasons, i want to follow my religion, i want to see my parents happy, i want to have children and i want to experience the kind of feeling a relationship can give you if inshallah my marrige goes well. Allah may have different in mind but i do hope and pray for the best.
I wouldnt call myself desperate i just worry due to what ive seen around me, a friend of mine who is now a doctor has been looking for the past 7 years and i dont see anything wrong with her but when she finds a rishta they all say no...
Re: when potential rishtas come to visit
just be yourself ...the one who is meant for you will marry you the way you are.
and remember its better to marry the right person later in life than to marry a wrong person earlier in your life.
Dont make a hasty decision they always turn out to be wrong. Live your life to its fullest till you get your match and then enjoy your life with him. Till you get married u can get education , work and save some money for your future. Don't try to take your destiny in your hands let things happen for you and when things will happen at the time they were meant to be you will enjoy it to its extreme and then u will also not have any regrets of wasting your valuable time.
I read this somewhere
Everyones got a Prince Charming. Mine just took a wrong turning got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
Re: when potential rishtas come to visit
What happen with your rishta straight_up? Did I missed the 2nd part of your meeting? :)