this is not the first time i am seeing…recently one of my friend told me that she broke up with his bf due to cultural differences. and now she is on a mission of self exploration, self discovery…she advice me to remain single, or atleast enjoy it while it lasts. she just visited Italy, and now she will be going to Netherlands in the mid of next month.
the thing i dont understand is when someone is in our life, we go blind and we dont see anything else but them. but when that person is out of equation, we suddenly acknowledge our existence, and our surroundings.
is marriage-relationship really a settlement of settling down? is settling down way important than figuring our yourself, your purpose?
We tend to establish a certain sense of self in relationships, and when the relationship comes crumbling down, so does that aspect of our self (depending on how much of your self was associated with the relationship). Self exploration is a way to explore other areas of your life that didn't get a chance or had to be ignored to make the relationship work. It is a way to figure out your fundamentals again, as a person. Usually such exploration, while in relationships, causes a lot of chaos in the relationship, which is why it doesn't happen often.
We don't explore while in relationships not just because we're blind (to some extent) but also because our life takes on a certain pattern and a way of being, which is why marriage is such a huge commitment. To be married is to promise to follow the same pattern (or make only the changes that the two of you can bear) for the rest of your life. No wonder we're (me, at least) so naturally inclined to respect people who are married.
Thats why I think marrying at a young age is such a waste because you can't experience life to the fullest with marriage you have to compromise and think of two people rather then just yourself. Exploring the world while you're young and single would definitely open your eyes. You don't need a fallen relationship to know that.
Its very hard to make sense of your gibberish Zobia.
I will however try to answer what I understand to be the gist of your post. In a relationship a person is intoxicated by "love" and spends as much time with the other person as possible. After the relationship ends a vacuum is created in their life. A vacuum needs to be filled but not by a new relationship immediately. First comes a period of introspection. This is a period when they try to get out of the routine and try new things in order to forget and make a break from the past . This is a time for reflection. A time to look at parts of your inner self that you may have neglected in the past. This is a time to ask questions about your past and your future.
After this period of introspection and break you are then ready for a new relationship again. It's human nature that you cannot be completely happy with either being alone or being in a relationship. Both have their own pro's and con's, however ultimately you will have to settle down in the vast majority of cases. Our experiences enrich us and make us wiser as well as causing us miseries along the way.
Its very hard to make sense of your gibberish Zobia.
I will however try to answer what I understand to be the gist of your post. In a relationship a person is intoxicated by "love" and spends as much time with the other person as possible. After the relationship ends a vacuum is created in their life. A vacuum needs to be filled but not by a new relationship immediately. First comes a period of introspection. This is a period when they try to get out of the routine and try new things in order to forget and make a break from the past . This is a time for reflection. A time to look at parts of your inner self that you may have neglected in the past. This is a time to ask questions about your past and your future.
After this period of introspection and break you are then ready for a new relationship again. It's human nature that you cannot be completely happy with either being alone or being in a relationship. Both have their own pro's and con's, however ultimately you will have to settle down in the vast majority of cases. Our experiences enrich us and make us wiser as well as causing us miseries along the way.
Mr. genius
your gibberish is " gibberisher" than the gibberish of Zobia
Zobia Ka hoa phobia tu arshad nai kia "irshad"
main bohat aqalmand larka hoon, samghaon tumhain yeh baat?
All of us see the world through our own eyes. If I'm ecstatic with my relationship I'd want my friends to experience that feeling. If my relationship just ended and I'm trying to enjoy my single'dom I want my friends to be with me so I can talk about it.
As for discovering the world in a single state that's totally obvious. When you are single you don't have a sense of loyalty. When you are single you tend to bond with others and spend more time, with a free'r attitude.
Being single is liberating - I believe that both circumstances are given to you by Allah and it’s up to you to make the most of it. If you’re single and free with no responsibilities - yes, go exploring if you can afford it, wake up whenever you want to, buy what you want, spoil yourself and have harmless flirtations - and yes as cliched as it sounds - self-discovery is a gift you will give to your partner because you will be more confident and satisfied with who you are and give your partner the best parts of yourself. And when you find love, it can also be the nicest thing in the world if it’s the right time and place. Niether is better than the other - it’s what you make of it.
this is not the first time i am seeing...recently one of my friend told me that she broke up with his bf due to cultural differences. and now she is on a mission of self exploration, self discovery...she advice me to remain single, or atleast enjoy it while it lasts. she just visited Italy, and now she will be going to Netherlands in the mid of next month.
the thing i dont understand is when someone is in our life, we go blind and we dont see anything else but them. but when that person is out of equation, we suddenly acknowledge our existence, and our surroundings.
is marriage-relationship really a settlement of settling down? is settling down way important than figuring our yourself, your purpose?
ps. i am very tired so pardon my gibberish.
I disagree. I've seen people who like to explore/travel beforehand continue after they are married and even after they have kids. Though it might be easier (financial/time-wise) to travel/explore on your own, if a person is into it, they'll do it whether they're in a relationship or not.
i have heard people saying that they are going to explore the world or enjoy their single life once they break up with some one. This i guess is just a way to hide the truth from yourself and an attempt to tell the world that you are not hurt and every thing is still normal.
Even if one is in a relationship, he can still go on a mission to explore the world. A relationship rarely stops you from doing any thing you want to do.
