I think for some members of the Desi community it might not be the same. For example I know some girls including myself whose parents did not let them travel on their own or give them any outlet for "self exploration" because of cultural reasons. I have talked about studying abroad with my parents many times and they always refuse and give some silly reason that has to do with respect for one's family and values. This actually makes me look forward to getting married because then I know I will be able to travel and see the world with my husband. I think generally desi girls look forward to being in relationships or getting married because it will give them more freedom and goris tend to think of relationships as being constricting.
This actually makes me look forward to getting married because then** I know I will be able to travel and see the world with my husband. **I think generally desi girls look forward to being in relationships or getting married because it will give them more freedom and goris tend to think of relationships as being constricting.
No dear......if you get married to a desi man........there is a high probability you would not be travelling and seeing the world..........
Personally I agree with Sindhi - because I am in the same boat. I guess being in relationships may sweep you into a world where its just you and the other person and no room for travel, but it also depends on how you both work together to have said adventures together, some people will be in a relationship and sit on the couch day in day out after work etc, some will go out and explore the world together.
I think being in a relationship sometimes make you become dependant on that person thus giving you a false sense of security, perhaps your friend is filling a void with her travelling? or perhaps shes searching for that buzz, I think its up to each person how they find forfillment. I think you should enjoy each moment of your life, be happy when you're single as you won't have these moments again and be happy as a couple, as again you only go through these moments once in life. Carpe Dium!
I think for some members of the Desi community it might not be the same. For example I know some girls including myself whose parents did not let them travel on their own or give them any outlet for "self exploration" because of cultural reasons. I have talked about studying abroad with my parents many times and they always refuse and give some silly reason that has to do with respect for one's family and values. This actually makes me look forward to getting married because then I know I will be able to travel and see the world with my husband. I think generally desi girls look forward to being in relationships or getting married because it will give them more freedom and goris tend to think of relationships as being constricting.
you're right. but marrying for "freedom" is a really huge risk.
Nomi, first of all what does being ABCD have anything to do with this? I know couples who live in Pakistan that travel frequently as well as couples who have grown up in the States. Second, how would checking with other Guppies change the fact that I know many couples who travel?
Nomi, first of all what does being ABCD have anything to do with this? I know couples who live in Pakistan that travel frequently as well as couples who have grown up in the States. Second, how would checking with other Guppies change the fact that I know many couples who travel?
rotfl. hahah.
um
while married you have to think of two people and two sets of families + your own.
while single you think about yourself and your family
while traveling you think about yourself and become independent
I think for some members of the Desi community it might not be the same. For example I know some girls including myself whose parents did not let them travel on their own or give them any outlet for "self exploration" because of cultural reasons. I have talked about studying abroad with my parents many times and they always refuse and give some silly reason that has to do with respect for one's family and values. This actually makes me look forward to getting married because then I know I will be able to travel and see the world with my husband. I** think generally desi girls look forward to being in relationships or getting married because it will give them more freedom and goris tend to think of relationships as being constricting**.
there is no gurantee that a desi girl may get freedom after marriage, there are a lot of other responsibilities that come with marriage and dont forget that some of them even leave their professional careers for marriage.
This is not fair but a lot of us need to mould our thinking and idealogy according to the society (desi in our case) and do need to follow wishes of our parents.
this is not the first time i am seeing...recently one of my friend told me that she broke up with his bf due to cultural differences. and now she is on a mission of self exploration, self discovery...she advice me to remain single, or atleast enjoy it while it lasts. she just visited Italy, and now she will be going to Netherlands in the mid of next month.
the thing i dont understand is when someone is in our life, we go blind and we dont see anything else but them. but when that person is out of equation, we suddenly acknowledge our existence, and our surroundings.
is marriage-relationship really a settlement of settling down? is settling down way important than figuring our yourself, your purpose?
ps. i am very tired so pardon my gibberish.
Lobia,
Its western model of life where some thing major have to happen before we try to know our self(self actualization). Where you have to be Madonna or MichealJAcson before you go explore.
In islam we have self actualization at very root level. Its every ones right. Its very easy and natural in our tradition.
After every break up, you need some time off. Call it self-exploration or anything, but you need it to regain yourself and understand your new priorities. Never jump into another relationship too quickly.
