Hello, what is your opinion going back to Pakistan when kids turning teens?
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
Why?
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
Why would you pull them out of school coming up towards their most important time academically and choosing possibly the most sensitive/difficult time (in their eyes at least) to move them back??
I used to hear about this quite a bit in the UK when I was v.young (well the girls being shipped back home, not the whole family).. hope the numbers are decreasing..
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
**Probably, it was a good idea, i think, a quarter of a century ago, but now, its isn't such a great idea because its NOT gonna make a very big big difference. Pakistan/India has 'advanced' a great deal because we ran after the "western" life-style and adopted it with a smiling face. i would think there isn't much of a difference between the west and the sub-continent when it comes to raising children. there is equal chance that the kid might go astray.
we, as a parent, still can raise kids in the west just as good if we invest our time and effort. :)**
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
My parents had a hard time deciding the very same issue. They decided not to. We went back often to visit which did give us exposure to the culture.
My question to you is what do you hope to gain for your kids in Pakistan that cannot be given where you live currently?
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
Do the parents in question not think about this stuff beforehand?
I wouldn't move somewhere I thought wasn't the right place to raise my kids in the first place.. Moving them (esp if they don't want to, which I guess would be the majority at that age) in their teens to somewhere so different is just asking for trouble and resentment..
If you want to move back there with your family best do it when the kids are very young (or older but willing) and can adjust more easily..
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
Deeba - that holds true for any teenage kid even moving within the country, state or city.
Change is hard for most adolescents. New friends, new school, new surroundings.
But if it's in their best interest, parents have the right to make that decision for them. Exposure to a different culture can really open up a world of experience for kids especially during teenage years. They won't like it now but they might thank their parents for giving them that experience in the long run.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
You need to figure out the real reasons for moving back and if you will be able to accomplish your goals there.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
njgal, I just thinking moving somewhere so different can be too much for someone that age tho of course depends on the individual and some could do fine or even better.. The main thing that niggles at me is the girls who are pulled out of school before their GCSES here in the UK then sent to Pakistan.. if/when they come back they often have no real qualifications because of the idiotic timing of it.. I don't think it really goes on in the US..
I'm not against moving back at all in principle, but not against a teenager's will to an environment where they might stuggle (much moreso than just moving to a different town or city) and the moral reasoning of it that some people give irritates me (I don't mean exposure to the culture which of course is a good thing).. Why live somewhere you don't consider 'decent' yourself and enjoy its freedoms (and make money from it) then decide it's not right/good for your children (or keep ur sons here but ship your daughers 'back home', another thing that happened quite a bit here in the UK)
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
I agree with Deeba.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
That is where ABCD's comes in. Na idher k na udher k..
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
i get where you are coming from Razia, i do think that one should plan ahead and move when kids are young, maybe 5-6 yrs old. at age 12/13 a lot of the demage has been done already.
I know Pakistan has advanced a lot in the past few years but it still is not as advanced as US/UK etc. If you make the right move at the right time things can turn out okay, but if you make the right move at the wrong time it wont do you or kids any good. WE dont have any kids yet but we plan on moving back either to home land or middle east once the oldest kid hits 5th bday. sure life will be tough there or at least not like here but in the long run if your kids turn out to be good humans and mulims that will make up for everything else.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
Nowadays that damage can be done at around 9 and 10.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
If you are taking your teens back to Paksitan so they could learn islamic and cultural values then all I could say is , good luck with that.
If you are taking them to any big cities (Karachi, Lahore, Islamabad) - then sorry to say but based on what I am hearing about those cities, it looks that my kids would be raised as a better Muslim in USA
If you are taking them into a lesser urban setting, like Hyderbad, Gujranwala or Quetta, then they would get a huge cultural shock and would need a long time for adjustment.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
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Nowadays that damage can be done at around 9 and 10 lol.
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the bacha actually said something wise. Unfortunately this sudden urge to move comes a bit too late in the game. The damage has already been done according to most studies where by age 8 most kids have a set personality.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
^ what damage man. I know few girls in USA that really I want them to be the role models for my daughters. Nice, shareef, educated, obedient, religious; there parents have done one phenomenal job on them, and that also without depriving them from any worldly luxuries.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
Actually? I'm always wise psshht.
But yeah, if you really want to keep your child protected, you'd best off shield them crazily rather than moving to Pakistan because all placed are becoming Westernized.. TLK explained Pakistans.
But at the same time I don't really think you want your kid to be completely blind and protected.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
The image that Pakistan is somehow more ''shareef' than the West is so mistaken.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
njgal, I just thinking moving somewhere so different can be too much for someone that age tho of course depends on the individual and some could do fine or even better.. The main thing that niggles at me is the girls who are pulled out of school before their GCSES here in the UK then sent to Pakistan.. if/when they come back they often have no real qualifications because of the idiotic timing of it.. I don't think it really goes on in the US..
I'm not against moving back at all in principle, but not against a teenager's will to an environment where they might stuggle (much moreso than just moving to a different town or city) and the moral reasoning of it that some people give irritates me (I don't mean exposure to the culture which of course is a good thing).. Why live somewhere you don't consider 'decent' yourself and enjoy its freedoms (and make money from it) then decide it's not right/good for your children (or keep ur sons here but ship your daughers 'back home', another thing that happened quite a bit here in the UK)
I agree. What is the parent's intent for taking the kids to pakistan?
Is it because one day the kids mouthed off to them and suddenly they realize that they are not in control?
Is it because they are having a hard time setting boundaries and they feel that would be done better in Pakistan?
Is it because they feel that their children would have better self esteem where they are constantly not saying "no" to them and their children would have fulfilling teenage years?
Is it because they don't want them to be in a society that has so much teenage promiscuity at such a young age?
Is it just fear of the unknown and they want them to raise them up in an environment that is similar to their?
Is it because they feel like Pakistani society can take some of their burden of parenting a teenage?
there are many pros and cons.
Re: When kids turning Teens, should we go back to Pakistan?
You need to figure out the real reasons for moving back and if you will be able to accomplish your goals there.
^This.
My family used to go to Pakistan every summer....especially when we lived in the Middle East....as the the travel was easier and more affordable. But even then....I wouldn't have wanted to "live" in Pak. Visits were fine...but I wasn't keen on living there long term or even permanently. Then again, it can depend upon WHERE in Pakistan you live. Life is more comfortable in some cities than in others.
As Nikki said....you have to reflect upon your goals and reasons for moving there. If it's financial....then I imagine with economy being strained the world over....it would be especially worse in countries like Pakistan. You'd have to compare things like economy, standard/quality of life, security/stability of the country, quality of education, job scope/opportunities, etc. If it's because you think that teenagers would be more "respectful" and "less out of hand" if they move to Pakistan.......then maybe some reflection over parenting style/behavior needs to take place....as there are negative influences everywhere.