Leading off a scenario posed by another person about a couple being unhappily married, when do you know its time to quit, especially if you have children together? Or should you never quit, no matter how miserable either or both of you are for the childrens sake?
And is there such a thing as ‘too late’? I hear this sometimes when a woman whose children have grown up wants to get divorced..and the advice is ‘ab kya fida hai?’
Re: When is it time to divorce?
When you find someone better.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
^^ whose to say you won't find some better again -- you quit again? and again and again. I disagree.
I feel like its time to quit if you start to endanger physcially people around you.
Violence is never a good mix to anything.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
I disagree that 2 individuals should bear it out, and live unhappily together for the sake of the children
I've seen it with my own parents, the only reason they live together is beacuse of me and my siblings, but during this time, all we have ever seen is them arguing and screaming and throwing things at each other constantly, every single day, to the point that my dad actually stays at work for as long as he can, and comes home when we'e all asleep.
No doubt one should not quit at the 1st sign of trouble, couples should try and work it out, but if it just isnt happening and being together is doing more harm to your physical and emotion well being , its better to get divorced
Re: When is it time to divorce?
I disagree that 2 individuals should bear it out, and live unhappily together for the sake of the children
I've seen it with my own parents, the only reason they live together is beacuse of me and my siblings, but during this time, all we have ever seen is them arguing and screaming and throwing things at each other constantly, every single day, to the point that my dad actually stays at work for as long as he can, and comes home when we'e all asleep.
No doubt one should not quit at the 1st sign of trouble, couples should try and work it out, but if it just isnt happening and being together is doing more harm to your physical and emotion well being , its better to get divorced
How do you feel as a child of such parents? What would be your solution and why do you think your parents may not think your idea is the best solution?
I am asking this because I believe the children are very badly affected and they cant function as adults if they havent learnt to see parents deal with issues they cant either. But I have people tell me that children of divorced children fare more badly than parents who stick together.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
Leading off a scenario posed by another person about a couple being unhappily married, when do you know its time to quit, especially if you have children together? Or should you never quit, no matter how miserable either or both of you are for the childrens sake?
And is there such a thing as 'too late'? I hear this sometimes when a woman whose children have grown up wants to get divorced..and the advice is 'ab kya fida hai?'
when she stops dressing up like a catholic school girl?? Or any other type of school girl for that matter.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
When you ask such a question.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
when is a good time? when you have exhausted all options to genuinely try and make the marriage work.
It is a tell tale sign that it's time to call it quits when you have so much anger, hate and resentment towards each other that you wish the worse for the other person. When your fights are no longer behind closed doors and the people around you are effected by it especially the children. When you see your kids frightened little faces and they start to cry each and every time their parents fight. When you become so enraged that you want to bang the other persons head against the wall but you restrain yourself not because you dont want to harm them but because you dont want to go to jail. Last but not least, when you have come to the point where physical violence is the norm in your relationship.
when you go through any of the above.....it's time for a divorce.
p.s staying in a marriage for the sake of the kids is ok to a certain extent I agree with that so long they dont see what is going on. Realistically however kids are very smart...they will see what it going on and they will nvr erase the memories of how terrified they were and they will always remember each and every fight they have witnessed.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
sorry AE, i would say when you are there then its past due, its when you see you are headed there and there is nothing to change that..
u dont jumo out from a car after it has fallen off a cliff and crashed, or while it is falling off the cliff...when u see the edge approaching, and u see the brakes dont work...open door..jump
Re: When is it time to divorce?
Leading off a scenario posed by another person about a couple being unhappily married, when do you know its time to quit, especially if you have children together? Or should you never quit, no matter how miserable either or both of you are for the childrens sake?
And is there such a thing as 'too late'? I hear this sometimes when a woman whose children have grown up wants to get divorced..and the advice is 'ab kya fida hai?'
Right time for me would be if they are no longer able to love\be intimate with their spouse, is there anything worse than having to have sexual 'relations' with a person they don't even like? I think even without the harming of someone's emotional or physical wellbeing sometimes the best thing is to just walk away than stay in a dead or sham marriage (and no I don't mean just temporarily being bored with ur other half I mean u know deep down u can't and never will be able to love/care for them in the future).
I know lots of people whose parents divorced and not one single one has ever said 'Oh, I wished they had stayed together for our sake' and out of those whose parents are in those dead marriages sticking together for the kids/family/society in general none of them has ever said to me they are grateful their parents have stuck it out, the usual response 'I'll never make the same mistake they did.'
Re: When is it time to divorce?
when one questions your integrity, and honesty.
i used to think kids needs both mother and father. yes they do but their personality is more shattered when both the parents are fighting and assassinating each others character.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
sorry AE, i would say when you are there then its past due, its when you see you are headed there and there is nothing to change that..
u dont jumo out from a car after it has fallen off a cliff and crashed, or while it is falling off the cliff...when u see the edge approaching, and u see the brakes dont work...open door..jump
x2...sometimes people may THINK they are headed there. I have witnessed couples (in cases I have personally dealt with) who turned around and made their marriage work AFTER filing for a divorce. One should not call it quits just because of what they THINK will happen.
agreed....you dont jump out of a car that has already fallen off the cliff but you can however jump off when it's at the edge dangling.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
when one questions your integrity, and honesty. i used to think kids needs both mother and father. yes they do but their personality is more shattered when both the parents are fighting and assassinating each others character.
i used to think the same way as well. now that i have dealt with divorce cases I think otherwise. kids are much better off with 2 happy parents that are separate rather then 2 miserable parents who hate each others guts and are living with each other. kids dont deserve to see this kind of hatred in their home.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
How do you feel as a child of such parents? What would be your solution and why do you think your parents may not think your idea is the best solution?
I am asking this because I believe the children are very badly affected and they cant function as adults if they havent learnt to see parents deal with issues they cant either. But I have people tell me that children of divorced children fare more badly than parents who stick together.
I cnt say if it would have been better if they were divorced,i i really used to wish they were when the arguing got really bad sometimes and my younger brothers and sisters would hide in fear in their room and cry to my parents to stop arguing.
But my parents felt that if they broke up the family that it woudl do us more harm and that we'd always have a complex about it.
Its easier said than done, but if 2 ppl seriously dont get on, i think its best to separate at least b4 and then go 4 divorce
Re: When is it time to divorce?
When you find someone better.
I find it quite offensive to be honest.. so another words, pretend to be happy in ur marriage.. give your partner a wrong impression of how much you are in love with them.. then leave them the next morning to be with someone else, who happens to be better than ur own partner? I don't see any logic in that.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
When the man beats the crap out of his wife several times a week because of his own insecurities in front of his child (who cries continuously for it to stop but the cries are not heard).
There is never a "too late" if the divorce is justified.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
I find it quite offensive to be honest.. so another words, pretend to be happy in ur marriage.. give your partner a wrong impression of how much you are in love with them.. then leave them the next morning to be with someone else, who happens to be better than ur own partner? I don't see any logic in that.
Yeah but it happens right?
Re: When is it time to divorce?
It's a good time for divorce when both partners feel like it's a dead end.
Dead end is when:
Partners do not care what the other does - day or night
Partners wish their partner would not come home tonight
Partners wish the other partner to be "wiped off" the face of earth. (oooo harsh:( )
Partners do not care how the other will support her/himself after divorce
Partners do not care to be supported by him/her (finance wise or house work wise)
Partners ARE NOT HUNG up on WHO the children live with (mom or dad) (this can also be a weakness and they may not divorce but live in pain)
Re: When is it time to divorce?
I believe in trying hard in marriage because you never know when your efforts will hit the right note.
Re: When is it time to divorce?
Yeah but it happens right?
I'm sure it happens, such is life!
But it was his/her suggestion which I found not right. It's giving out the wrong msg :)