hey all.
this is justa thought that came to my mind and i well brought it up with my husband and his views about this were rather ..err..typical. so i thought i would see what a broader community as such,would think.
here goes:
i have a handsome healthy 3yr old son.now i would love to have a daughter too sometime.i thought to myself,there are so many kids in the world who have been orpahned or abandoned and the kind of love and security that i can provide to my own flesh and blood, wouldnt it be amazing to give it to someone who is already in this world and life has been unfair to him/her??
what do you guys think about this.how many of you would consider such a setup for your family?
To foster or "adopt" an orphan is a very noble thing and Islamically one would be very much rewarded for it, inshallah.
However, if you are looking at Islamic perspective, your own son and fostered daughter would be non-mehram's for eachother when they grow older, and also your husband would be a non-mehram for your daughter when she grows older. Something to bear in mind.
To foster or "adopt" an orphan is a very noble thing and Islamically one would be very much rewarded for it, inshallah.
However, if you are looking at Islamic perspective, your own son and fostered daughter would be non-mehram's for eachother when they grow older, and also your husband would be a non-mehram for your daughter when she grows older. Something to bear in mind.
To foster or "adopt" an orphan is a very noble thing and Islamically one would be very much rewarded for it, inshallah.
However, if you are looking at Islamic perspective, your own son and fostered daughter would be non-mehram's for eachother when they grow older, and also your husband would be a non-mehram for your daughter when she grows older. Something to bear in mind.
Allah loves orphans and the people who look after them. Your thoughts towards helping a child with minimal opportunities and giving them love, not to mention bringing them up as your own child should definatly be encouraged
May Allah give u and us the strength and opportunity to carry out this noble cause
ameen
..x..
I think thats a very kind thing to do and inshAllah the rewards will be countless if you handle it all even average well because adoption comes with great responsibility. However, bear in mind that as soon she comes of age, it would be much better to marry her as these things can get complicated when she's an adult.... don't wanna get in details.
One thing which I would however like to mention is that orphans are like an amanat, so if you really feel you are upto dealing them equally as your son, then mashAllah great.
Waise I must appreciate that instead of living our lives, working only for our tummies and luxuries, I am happy that there are people like you who actually make a difference in this world. Best of luck !!
In Islam there is no such thing as adoption. You can raise a child in your home but you cannot give him/her your name. once the child has reached puberty he will be na-mehram to you and if its a girl then she will be na-mehram to ur husband. but raising orphan is immensley rewarding thing in islam.
It's an odd paradox; in Islam we are encouraged to raise orphans, but then Islam heavily restricts how to interact with them after puberty.
So if a barren, childless couple adopts a boy, after puberty the husband can never leave home (such as to go to work) again if the mother and child are there as they would be na-mehram. Unless the child is kicked out of the house upon puberty?
i agree with the na-mehrum perspective of such an issue.but heres what it is,people tend to not follow islam or shairah laws without ifs and buts.everything is made so damn complicated by the people around you especially family members that it really burns down to what exactly is the right way of raising an orphan,and dealing with na-mehrum issues without it being so darn complicated....
my husband simply said."i dont have a problem but people wont let you live peacefuly".
and i dont care persoanly of what people say 'about'this choice.na uh...
if only i had my husbands support and undersatnding on this,and i will try , i will, i want to give shelter to a needy innocent life who has every right in this beautiful world to have a peaceful life.insha-allah.
i agree with the na-mehrum perspective of such an issue.but heres what it is,people tend to not follow islam or shairah laws without ifs and buts.everything is made so damn complicated by the people around you especially family members that it really burns down to what exactly is the right way of raising an orphan,and dealing with na-mehrum issues without it being so darn complicated....
my husband simply said."i dont have a problem but people wont let you live peacefuly".
and i dont care persoanly of what people say 'about'this choice.na uh...
if only i had my husbands support and undersatnding on this,and i will try , i will, i want to give shelter to a needy innocent life who has every right in this beautiful world to have a peaceful life.insha-allah.
The namahram part have been stretched too far. Quran has specified some namahram relationships to the extent that a nikah is not allowed with a namahram. Any other kind human , legal and shara-e interaction is not prohibited with namahram.
Common sense dictates that if Quran has praised that taking care of orphans as a noble deed then how can it be prohibitted by humans ?
Here are some of the Quranic verses for you to ponder upon:
**Keep a close check on orphans until they reach a marriageable age, then if you perceive that they have sound judgement hand over their property to them. Do not consume it extravagantly and precipitately before they come of age. Those who are wealthy should abstain from it altogether. Those who are poor should use it sensibly and correctly. When you hand over their property to them ensure that there are witnesses on their behalf. Allah suffices as a Reckoner. (Surat an-Nisa': 6)
****Have you seen him who denies the religion? He is the one who harshly rebuffs the orphan and does not urge the feeding of the poor. So woe to those who do prayer, and are forgetful of their prayer, those who show off and deny help to others. (Surat al-Ma'un: 1-7)
***"(be good to) orphans and the very poor. And speak good words to people"*. (Surat al-Baqara: 83)
**…They will ask you about the property of orphans. Say, "Managing it in their best interests is best". If you mix your property with theirs, they are your brothers… (Surat al-Baqara: 220)
***The following two verses are a proof that Allah wants us to raise orphans as our own family and take care of them and if they have property then take good care of that too.
* *People who consume the property of orphans wrongfully consume nothing in their bellies except fire. They will roast in a Searing Blaze. (Surat an-Nisa': 10)
*
Give orphans their property, and do not substitute bad things for good. Do not assimilate their property into your own. Doing that is a serious crime. (Surat an-Nisa': 2)
You'd be surprised by how supportive people are.
My son is adopted and I had very much armed myself with ammunition to throw back at people; but honestly not a single soul had a negative remark to make. They were all overjoyed and they all love him no differently then if he was my biological.
Now the question is how dedicated are you to this?
Its not an easy process to go through with the paperwork or emotionally.
Just to feel sorry for a kid isn't enough to deal with them your whole life.
And if you base you adoption on pity for the baby then you're doing him/her a diservice.
Be absolutely sure that this is what you and YOUR HUSBAND want.
Sorry if I just complicated things more but thats my take on it.
And the whole na mehram thing; did you know that there is medication out there that can make you breast feed the baby; that solves you're issue. As for the dad and the daughter not to clear on that but I'm sure the reward for caring for her will outweigh everything else.
Bubli - I am thinking about the same setup. I have 2 daughters. I would love to have 2 more children. I think about so many children in need these days. Why not?
About the whole mehram / na mehram thing in terms of adoption - it's really not that big an issue for me. I have been taught to believe that your "intentions" in this life are counted more than anything else.
You have to put some things in perspective that islam was sent for that time period. Some things need to be put in perspective for today's society. There are blended families everywhere.
Family name - it's irrelevant in today's society. Most of my friends didn't even change their maiden names because it's easier with professional lives. My daughters and I have a different last name than my husbands so what's our family name?
*Property *- I am not planning on leaving any interhitance of any of my kids. I will invest in their education and upbringing and hopefully teach them to be a self motivated individual. the rest I leave to God and their ability to strive. (my parents did the same and I value that more than anything monetary)
Na mehram /Mehram - There are other ways like Muniya usggested and nowadays it's more perspective and upbringing than anything else. If you choose to drill that in your child head - they will always think that.
I've always wanted to adopt as well...if Allah willing, I end up attaining enough wealth to be able to comfortably do so.
Can someone PLEASE explain why an adopted child becomes na mehram for the parent of the opposite gender after puberty? Most people who adopt have enough sense and maturity to treat the adopted child as their OWN biological child. Many of these adopted children have been adopted since they were infants and have lived with their adopted parents all their lives, often they don't even know if they are adopted. I know this is in Islam, but I was hoping someone could provide a LOGICAL explanation for this because in my mind, I need to be able to rationalize things...
When it comes to good deeds , people suddenly remember what Islam says about mehram and namehrams ...
How many of us respect the mehram/namehram laws when it comes to joint family systems? or even a bahoo is a namehram to the father in law but she is expected to treat him like she treats and respects her father... these are just two examples...
Therefore , I believe when you are thinking of a good deed , just go ahead with it... dont think twice ... dont let people drive you away from hypocritical thinking....
Good luck and May Allah be the guide to us all.
When it comes to good deeds , people suddenly remember what Islam says about mehram and namehrams ...
How many of us respect the mehram/namehram laws when it comes to joint family systems? or even a bahoo is a namehram to the father in law but she is expected to treat him like she treats and respects her father... these are just two examples...
Therefore , I believe when you are thinking of a good deed , just go ahead with it... dont think twice ... dont let people drive you away from hypocritical thinking....
Good luck and May Allah be the guide to us all.
very well said, its all about ure intentions at the end of the day
When it comes to good deeds , people suddenly remember what Islam says about mehram and namehrams ...
How many of us respect the mehram/namehram laws when it comes to joint family systems? or even a bahoo is a namehram to the father in law but she is expected to treat him like she treats and respects her father... these are just two examples...
Therefore , I believe when you are thinking of a good deed , just go ahead with it... dont think twice ... dont let people drive you away from hypocritical thinking....
Good luck and May Allah be the guide to us all.
*CB *- FIL are mehram for bahu's but husbands brothers (devars) are na-mehram.
taken from SunniPath :The father-in-law is a mahram to his daughter-in-law from the time she consummated the marriage with his son onwards; even after the death of the son or the dissolving of the marriage through divorce.
however going back to topic, I would love to adopt. I've even told my husband that I want to go to pakistan and adopt a little baby, he hasnt responded to my whole idea clearly but insha'Allah im hoping that he can see the good in it and go ahead with it. :)