Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w
Thanks to everybody who responded to my post. I would like to share one of the answers that was posted on the other board:
All this commentary is based on the assumption that she is wearing hijab outside of the home (unless praying of course) and while at home with you she is as she has always dressed.
Why would you care what she wears while out of the house, or in the company of men not related to her? Are you saying you aren't attracted to her physically while she's grocery shopping or washing the car? Why would you need to be? Are all your sexual feelings tied up with your vision of her say, picking up the kids from school?
Maybe you ought to rethink what you're saying here. Is it possible you're more concerned with how people are going to perceive you while together? Hmm, do you worry people will assume that you are faithful follower of Islam? For an atheist that may be a big problem. Or is it that she is only physically attractive to you if she is attractive to other men? That's something we Muslims don't subscribe to, and if you think about it, it's not being very respectful of your wife. We Muslim women who wear hijab take pride in keeping our beauty safe from the eyes of strange men, and saved especially for our husbands. What's unsexy about that? Unless one is a pimp! (I'm not saying that you are a pimp, please don't take that the wrong way.)
Frankly, most Muslim men who don't want their wives or daughters to cover have one of these reasons:
1. fear. They worry the women may be harassed or bothered in America where it isn't easy being Muslim these days.
2. Shame. Shame for themselves, their wives are more willing to show their devotion to God than they the Muslim man is willing to do. They are reminded daily that the wife is more in touch with God than he is and it makes him feel uncomfortable.
3. Cultural baggage. Back home (in whatever country he's from) only "religious" women wore hijab, or only "backward" women wore hijab--the educated class is too smart to cover...
Really, if you love your wife, take care with this and many other issues. There strong opinions of Islamic scholars who say she shouldn't even remain with you, if you are as strongly atheistic as you say you are. There are other opinions that she should stay with you (especially if you have children) unless or until it is obvious and clear you would never become a God fearing person. So, while you think you may leave her because she wants to cover her hair, she may be thinking you aren't worth it.
Sorry to be harsh, but really, read your message again. How sad that you think all your wife's attractiveness in tied up with her hair. Chances are, one day you'll lose all yours anyway, should she leave you then?