So this aunty told us today that this couple is getting a divorce. The reason for divorce is: the girl’s from here (U.S) and she got married to her cousin from Pak. She had agreed to the wedding and everything. They’ve been married for three years.
So her complaint is that her husband’s too traditional. He goes out with her mostly in his shalwar kameez or a kameez over his jeans, he doesn’t speak good English, has an accent, he’s not intelligent, blah blah blah. They both work in IT. She knew all this before but thought he’d change once he moves here.
I’m just wondering what’s wrong with going out in shalwar kameez or not speaking good English? Is it really that big of a deal to get divorced over?
Re: What's wrong with this?!
Yeah it's not a problem I think . It can be solved easily .
Just a fact of understanding so they should make it solved .
Ostad Khalil khan where are you ? please come here and say something .
He can solve it any way .
Re: What's wrong with this?!
Foreign born & raised girl / Desi born boy
Rarely works.
Re: What's wrong with this?!
stupid fobs can't get over their painduness duh!!
Re: What's wrong with this?!
Foreign born & raised girl / Desi born boy Rarely works.
They actually do work out more than you believe...
Sounds like there might be more to this than just dress code, I feel these preferences can be easily communicated...
Re: What’s wrong with this?!
^I think there’s more to it than just the dress code as well.. Maybe he is too traditional or conservative for her generally (or she’s too modern for him) and they’re clashing over other things..
‘Bad english’ could pose practical problems but then again it could just be an excuse..
Still can’t believe ppl don’t discuss or place importance on BASIC things like compatibility before getting hitched 
Re: What's wrong with this?!
I am surprised just because he wears salwaar kameez and doesnt speak good English they got divorced.
What's wrong with this?!
They didn't get divorced yet, they're in the process. According to the girl, she tried to tell him many times that she doesn't like him wearing clothes like that outside but he says "he's proud to be a Muslim/Pakistani and why is she embarrassed bcoz of that". So basically, he gives her a guilt trip for not being proud of her roots??
But personally, I just can't understand why wearing a shalwar kameez outside causes embarrassment? Why? :(
Re: What's wrong with this?!
I know about a girl who divorced her husband because he asked her to make rottian. And her mothers words were: 'our daughter is so parhi likhi, why should she make rottian or bring her husband water'.
Or the women who made their brother divorce hgis wife, because she was so religious. In their words: "jab bhi hum ne kaheen jana hota tha, tau woh lehti thi main namaz parh lun. Jaenamaz nikaal kar baith jati thi."
So yeah, some people are dumb in the head.
Re: What's wrong with this?!
It has to be MORE than just the clothes and the language impairment that has led to them getting a divorce. Most likely there is a lack of compatibility on many levels.
You're asking what is the big deal with wearing a shalwar kameez? It isn't a big deal. But it can also be argued that it takes two hands to clap and BOTH parties need to make an effort to compromise. The husband's argument of connecting a shalwar kameez to being a Muslim...is a weak one. Last night I was listening to a lecture where someone asked a scholar whether it was okay to wear western clothes. And he responded that the Prophet SAWS was not known for his clothes....he did not become listed among the world's influential people for his libaas.....but mainly for his character. This does not mean that one should dress indecently.....but you can cover your body in western attire and still be a Muslim and a Pakistani. After all, even in Pakistan...you'll find people in shirts and pants. Does that make them less Pakistani? Again I don't think that the husband's arguments are that strong either.....to warrant complete and undivided sympathy. I think there's rigidity from both sides.
Re: What's wrong with this?!
Foreign born & raised girl / Desi born boy Rarely works.
Aap ne survey kiya hai koi
Re: What's wrong with this?!
people dont tell d real reason...
Re: What's wrong with this?!
sup. Ya i think there might be many other reasons. In any case, it is sad. Best of wishes to both of them.
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They just don't want to make it work. The rest are just excuses. They would've worked on fixing these(or any) problems if they were really committed to the relationship.
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But personally, I just can't understand why wearing a shalwar kameez outside causes embarrassment? Why? :(
I personally don't think its an issue at all. But then its about personal preferences/role expections.
What if the girl moves to Pakistan with him and they live in his village and she goes out in the mohalla in her jeans and whatever. I think her husband will feel embarrassed as well. So though the husband has right to wear whatever he wants but there is no harm in being considerate of the community you are living in.
What's wrong with this?!
Yeah there def are other reasons but she's going and telling people about this reason only. It's just sad. They're both 29! Anyways, may Allah ease everyone's suffering.
Re: What's wrong with this?!
As everyone else said, there's probably more to it than just Shalwar Kameez and bad English.
However I agree with MangoMan: When you move to a different country, you can't expect life to be exactly like it was back home. I'm not saying people should forget about their roots, but don't stick out like a sore thumb.
Re: What's wrong with this?!
Foreign born & raised girl / Desi born boy Rarely works.
aapko bara pata hai
lol it's working for me and my husband!
@OP, there's probably a lot more to their story that you dont know.
Re: What's wrong with this?!
Yeah there def are other reasons but she's going and telling people about this reason only.
That's b/c nosy aunties probably keep asking her why they got divorced and so she gives them this answer hoping they'll leave her alone. She doesn't owe anyone an "explanation". Heck you haven't even bothered to speak with her yourself so clearly you're not a close family member or friend.
NO ONE else knows what happened behind closed doors between her and her ex-husband. So whether or not they got divorced b/c of his English and clothing.....or if there was another reason......all that is a private matter between her and the ex.
Re: What's wrong with this?!
Sounds like an urban legend to me. You know, one of those stories people tell their kids.. "Don't get involved with these women from the West who have lost their roots"