What's wrong with Old Homes?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

Haha TLK, I know you are funny but def not this time around.

If having love and respect for the elders makes me what you want to nickname me then by all means go ahead with it. I rather be that then to be stone hearted :(.

22

Re: What’s wrong with Old Homes?

I had love to hear what you guys would have to say 20 years later.

23

Re: What’s wrong with Old Homes?

20 years later…why does it matter 20 years later…i’m already in my old age :naak:

I’ve posted about this before, and i shall repeat it again: As a child, i would want to take care of my parents till the very end of their lives, but as a parent, i don’t want to burden my children with the responsibility of having to look after me.

Why did you initiate a thread if you’re not open to different opinions?

24

Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

I can bet that you are single living with your parents - and I totally understand your emotions, but when you become a mother, you will feel differently. You will think of convenience of your kids plus your own dignity and this is what MIA and Maroush are talking about.

25

Re: What’s wrong with Old Homes?

Ahem, it was mabrook who opened the thread, not Maham. You are old.

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Re: What’s wrong with Old Homes?

:smack:

See… burhaape ki nishaani. :naak:

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Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

When I was at school we were all expected to take unpaid 'jobs' for various w/ends and one of mine was in a care home.. I think the main issue with the ppl who live there is the loneliness but then again some of them also preferred the company of others their own age.. I did feel bad sometimes about their lack of privacy and the fact it must have been demeaning for them to be changed, bathed and even taken to the toilet by 'strangers' (some of the residents couldn't even go and had to use this awful portable thing which was basically just a bucket in a frame). Also, everything was v.structured, they would have set times to eat, go to bed etc. which I'm sure they must have found irritating..

I don't think the idea of a whole mini community for elderly ppl is a bad one tho, where they could live in their own little homes but with ppl to help out if they need anything..

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Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

Ok we are talking about real life old people here, not seven dwarfs from snow white tale

29

Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

Kids can adapt at their age. The sooner you make them learn the value of such relationships, the better. Otherwise this cycle will continue.
What dignity got to do with this?

Maybe i just think very differently from you guys.

30

Re: What’s wrong with Old Homes?

I can understand why some desi parents would prefer the old home setup…the independence. Then there are the medical benefits of having linked up with the the caregivers, urgent care, etc etc… However, in reality, I think they’d be lonely and would crave the hulla gulla of a typical desi household. Unless they can come up with an all desi senior home, I think the mingling would become an issue.

My hubby and I would be perfectly OK living alone with a nurse (an ugly one :mad:) to help out if we can afford it, or move to a senior housing when we’re at the age. I wouldn’t want my daughters to have the burdens of looking after us over their own children and spouses. Of course we’d always want to be around and available but if we can help it, this would be a more suitable option.

But then, we are this generation. I don’t advise it for our parents/in laws.

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Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

I said little, not miniature :D

32

Re: What’s wrong with Old Homes?

I’m totally getting me a hot one…:smiley:

They have “retirement communities” now where old people are not restricted to living in a retirement home all under one roof per se…they have their own houses, their independence to do what they want, but under the watchful eye of trained support workers…

33

Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

old folks home ... which setting are you referring to
there are
1: communities designed with the comfort and accessibility in mind. Those are simply apartments/condos/homes exclusive for the elderly.
2: Assisted Living: Residence that provides some kind of a nursing/home health aide assistance ... which can range from a visit once a week to 24 hour care.
3: Nursing home: for the more ill, debilitated (physically or mentally) elderly. 24 hours nursing care and docs visits.

The quality of life truly varies from location to location. I have seen true disasters (neglect - medical, social, and abuse) from all three. Overall though ... #1 is the best option as long the resident had adequate mental and physical function.

34

Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

believe me I have seen the same in domestic setting where senior people are living with their family.

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Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

^ very true

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Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

Chalain sir aap kehtay hain toh kar laitay hain :D

And about the "halla gulla of a family" thing. The oldies may enjoy it, but often the others don't enjoy the extra burden. I know I didn't. Truth. It stings.

37

Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

We want to send our kids to day cares and we want to send our parents to old homes.

Both places have physical comforts and things of interest but neither can provide emotional or moral support.

Individualistic society is what we want. Little responsibility towards others around us, even those as close as kids and parents, and more focus on our own desires.

38

Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

^ very true

39

Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

Lets make one thing clear ... senior citizen communities and nursing homes (the ones desi call old homes) are two very diffrent setups. One is full of luxorious comforts for their residents and mostly independent older folks with money live there happily. They usually sell their big house for one bed room condo in such dwellings and live the rest of their life worry free. Nursing homes on the other hand is assisted living. older people who are not able to take care of themselves live in nursing homes.
Nursing home is one that desi people have problem with as traditionally elderly stay with the family.

40

Re: What's wrong with Old Homes?

LOL, so much hair splitting and beating around the bush. Why are people so embarrassed to simply admit that they don't want to deal with the "side affects" involved with aging parents? Sure keep them around as long as they can contribute to the house and provide "company" but the second they can't pull their weight anymore, lets ship them off to old homes (NOT nursing homes mind you) under the pretext of "luxury" living. Right, as if we ourselves happen to live in a dump with no electricity or water. But no wait, they need the "medical" care. Yeah, like only doctors and nurses are qualified to take care of their elders now. Shudda gone to medical school and become a daktar, darn it. Maybe in the next lifetime.

The arguments are laughable if they weren't so pathetic. The inconvenient truth is that anyone who has ever been inside an old home for any length of time, would know that it is the last place you would ever want to be.