Women, why do we always find ways to blame ourself for the **** that happens to us or around us. He dumped me, maybe I was too demanding. He hit on me, maybe it was the dress I was wearing. An earthquake hit Japan, maybe cause I coughed!
PLEASE, do not blame everything on yourself. For once place the blame where it really belongs.
Re: What's with this mentality?
I love you.
Re: What’s with this mentality?
Its because we are senstive …i guess
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who said woman end up blaming themselves for everything? It depends on each individual.
Re: What’s with this mentality?
Because they are stupid…(Not all)
While the world turns and burns everyday with happenings around the world, for some inexplicable reason they can think up questions like these…
In the words of Ghalib, “Aur bhi ghum hain zamanay main mohabbat kai siwa…”
Unhappy creatures…
Re: What’s with this mentality?
haha funny thread… yet so lost…
Re: What's with this mentality?
I am talking about sexual abuse or domestic violence or similar stuff. Women who are actually victims tend to make sense out of their situation by blaming themself. Somehow making it their own fault. I mean what's the effin logic? Do you want to feel that world isn't as bad as it looks? People are still good and it's just you who is responsible for everything wrong that happens?
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oh just yesterday i was blaming myself for something stupid
what else can we do
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Stop blowing things out of proportion Chandmoti. Tom not replying to your gay emails can by no means be considered as sexual abuse.
Sincerely,
Captain Lota
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I agree I think vomenz are more sesivative and for some reason we tend to take responsibility for everything freaking thing!
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I think that it's easy to say don't blame yourself. I don't know why women do it. I went through stuff in the past and I can say that while in my head, i know that none of it was my fault. . . i kept thinking sometimes what if i had done t his differently? what if i had done that differently? ? ? I should've been smarter, better, etc.
but now i know he was just an @rsshole.
I like how i feel much better now
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^I think that is normal stuff that every person thinks now and then.
What is referred to in this thread by the poster is, I think at least, why women blame themselves for unnormal things.
I think in cases of abuse, it's what they hear and start believing. I know someone who went through similar things. A lot happened to her. In the end she got fed up and started to fight back which isn't much appreciated in her family... She always hears it's only her own fault. While she also made some mistakes, not everything is her fault and she certainly didn't get herself in those situations!
One of the relationships problems, when the male is bad and the female keeps trying is, that the verb that a home is only made with a good woman is very often wrongly applied. It's true, the woman should be good in order to achieve a good home for the family, but it's not just up to her. If she keeps trying and trying, and the male keeps behaving badly, she can't help it.
Yet, even for most divorce cases, the female is often blamed. Even by her own family. My friend goes through this often, contacts with her family are very depressing for her, so she stays away from them as much as she can. They blame her for her divorce, which is right because she left her ex and started her divorce. Everybody talked her into going back in the past and she always left him when she couldn't take it any more. Finally he is remarried nowadays! But they always blame it on her that the marriage was bad, while he was a bad person and also a hypocrite person [he even disallowed her to tell others that they were married, that they were back together again the last time!]. My friends family knows what he's like, yet they blame my friend, they feel she should have waited twenty, thirty years until he 'changes' and is good to her.... Why should she destroy her life like that when Allah has given females the right to divorce bad husbands? sheesh!
Anyway, to this day, they blame her. And that is the case with many females, when people keep putting it in your head, espcially your own lovely father, mother, brothers, cousins, aunties and uncles, that you are to be blamed, you start believing it.
That is the problem in our culture. Thank God it doesn't happen everywhere anymore, but the problem is still there.
Even remember many aunties, friends of parents and real khala, saying things like they had bad husbands too, or some of them said, theirs were still bad, but they stayed, did sabr all those years, it's true, while sabr is more rewarded by Allah, he didn't give females the right to divorce for nothing. Why raise your children in such a negative atmosphere? Why put your children through the bad things the father does? Why let them live in such a state? In the end, your honour in other peoples eyes is not as important as your honour in Allah's eyes and what Allah thinks about you. Let other people bash you, talk bad about you, you don't live with them, you live with your own children. You live in your own home and when you close the door to your home, you leave the vicious talk and lies outside and relax in your own home. If you stay with a bad husband, you will have honour outside your home, but you will always be miserable in your own home, in your private life...
Re: What's with this mentality?
PLEASE, do not blame everything on yourself. For once place the blame where it really belongs.
its da way girls are brought up which results in this kinda mentality. while boys are given everything, da girls in da family are taught to "sacrifice" from a very young age starting with toys, tidbits etc.. and eventually when they grow up they even sacrifice their dreams.
and its no secret our childhood experiences contributes a lot to the adults we are today.
taking the blame to resolve an issue becomes a part of a woman.... its another form of sacrifice. If matters can be resolved then why not? it saves da gal all da blame she might hav to bear with from families and friends.
i think its fine to give in every now and then on certain issues but eventually every woman shd put a limit to this kind of mentality... i mean u need to be firm on ur believes, u need to hav a personality, and only then ppl will resepect u!
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PLEASE, do not blame everything on yourself. For once place the blame where it really belongs.
plz don't cough again!
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I guess i have never been to that sort of women world. Its only the illiterate women (from villages) who i guess have been victims of that stuff and try to blame it on themselves.
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exactly and the reason y those women end up blaming themselves is because they have not been given their rights properly (im not gonna go in detail for that, i bet u all know).
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^^ I seriously don't know.
Re: What’s with this mentality?
IQ i was avoiding all the typing 
Re: What's with this mentality?
MAYBE COZ WERE USED 2 TAKIN DA BLAME I MEAN I ALWAYS DO THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY NOT TO MAYBE IT IS IN OUR KISMATV YAAR
Re: What’s with this mentality?
aur mei chahta hoooN kay tum apnay concerns share karo