Re: What’s with this mentality?
Well, I could go back to blaming men, 
, but then I would be bashed all over GS again.
I seriously think it comes down to lack of self-esteem which is why so many women take the blame for everything themselves. Lack of self-esteem and sense of self-worth. If the individual in question were to get things more into perspective about herself and the situation, she wouldn’t be taking all responsibility for everything.
Re: What's with this mentality?
PLEASE, do not blame everything on yourself. For once place the blame where it really belongs.
the earthquake in japan.. wasn't that because i fell.. lol...:p
Re: What’s with this mentality?
I still blame men for everything. If they didnt eat apple that day we would be sitting in heaven and having fun up there.
Re: What's with this mentality?
oh and chloe!
He was not worth it. Smile its another beautiful day and freedom without him.
Re: What's with this mentality?
musicmaniac, evilmastermind, listen girlies, try to open your eyes up once in a while. If you assume domestic or sexual abuse doesn't exist in the civilised part of this world, then you are sadly mistaken. It's as real as your ignorance, I assure you. And women who blame themself in these situations come in all colors, sizes and education levels.
Nia nia nia, trying to be smart again? Tom would never dump me. And even if he did, do I look like the kind who blames herself? His lack of neurons I would say. :p
Re: What's with this mentality?
chloe hun let me know when you grow up :~) I know we have a long way to go...
Re: What's with this mentality?
Chloe i dont know which part of the world u live in, but the sexual abuse only happens where there are sadly illiterate or ignorant pepz. There is no way a women who is independent would be accusing herself for scratch.
Re: What's with this mentality?
PLEASE, do not blame everything on yourself. For once place the blame where it really belongs.
Because women were made from the crooked rib of Adam. End of story.
Re: What’s with this mentality?
yeah… it’s true that we women blame ourselves for many things that dont go in our favour but i also blame others secretly 
Re: What’s with this mentality?
do you mean to say rapes don’t happen in whatever part of neverland you live in? You mean to say, no woman is ever wolf whistled at or ogled at ? Or no woman is ever mentally and physically abused ? Or you just mean that your blinders are too strong to notice these everyday occurences? You really oughta research this stuff, hell even watching news or keeping eyes open will be enough.
And I think it does reflect the environment in which is woman is brought up. Was she encouraged to be independent and speak her mind, or was she taught to be “civil” and “understanding”. Like Mehnaz said, self-esteem plays a role in this too. But it’s just sad seeing sisters blame themself.
Re: What's with this mentality?
Fine the women are sexually abuse or whtever but i still dont agree with women blaming themselves for being the victims of those incidents. This is wht i meant earlier there is about 2% of women who blame themselves for being sexually exploited and all of um are inerudite
Re: What’s with this mentality?
Easy to point fingers. There’s a white Canadian woman I work with who admits that she was in a relationship for several years with an abusive partner because until she realised that she wasn’t the one at fault.
Never underestimate the effect that a dominant personality can have on a submissive one.
Re: What's with this mentality?
Good we identified brought up, self esteem, culture, influence (personality, surroundings) and (bit of) literacy level as the main causes.
Hey but what about religion??? some girls who are ogled would consider themselves at fault for not covering properly. any problems ????
Re: What's with this mentality?
Actually Imran, such girls don't blame themselves, but men blame them instead.
Re: What's with this mentality?
^^ Agree. The sadest part is they consider its there religious right to taunt, sexually harass or even rape such girls, for they deserve such fate. Yes, i have seen posts in religion forum supporting such views and the worst part they were posted by girls. What a shame!
Re: What’s with this mentality?
Statistics. Statistics. Statistics. It’s kind of relevant… (USA)
1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.
1 in 4 teenage girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse.
More than 1 in 4 teenage girls in a relationship (26%) report enduring repeated verbal abuse.
If trapped in an abusive relationship, 73% of teens said they would turn to a friend for help; but only 33% who have been in or known about an abusive relationship said they have told anyone about it.
Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser.
Of the women between the ages 15-19 murdered each year, 30% are killed by their husband or boyfriend.
Studies show that 1 in 4 women will be abused in their lifetime.
Boys have reported that 27% of girls started the violence in their relationships.
In 100 domestic violence situations, approximately 40 cases involve violence by women against men.
Survey research suggest that women who are assaulted are 9 times more likely to report to police and 5 times more likely to tell a friend/relative than men who are assaulted by their wives.
Re: What’s with this mentality?
I think it’s partly that they’re raised to blame themselves…
BUT there’s also a control issue involved. It’s much scarier to think that all of these bad things can happen and you have no control over them.
Re: What's with this mentality?
I blame myself because so I can learn from my mistakes and make better choices next time around.
Re: What's with this mentality?
i agree with those who said it is society that turns women this way...i noticed that older women tend to put all the blame on younger women in the family....defending their sons and nephew, and even son in law...no matter what...
and i'm not desi, i'm french...a place where gender equity is supposed to be rather develloped (80% of all women have jobs)...
but the truth is in france 1/10 women are victims of abuse, and 50% of killed women were killed by their spouse or boyfriend...
when the most dangeroud form of sexism (encouraging mentally women to be submissive to abusive partners) is put into women heads by their own mothers, aunts, etc...how can we expect things to change soon?
Re: What's with this mentality?
It is so so so important for a woman to be independent before she gets involved in a relationship (i.e. marriage in our culture). She must have learned to live alone, literally and emotionally, she must have an education and be working and continue to work afterward so she is not dependent on the man in anyway. I am with Gloria Steinem on this one. Even then, this trap is still there and I find myself indulging in it sometimes.
The only thing that gets me out of that funk is throwing myself into work and academics. There is no higher truth, nothing of more value than education. That or anything else that makes you survive on your own, even if it's being in a band.
Sometimes I think Islam feeds this mentality too.