these days when i go to pakistani dinner parties either in karachi or abroad, i see a lot of people of the opposite sex greeting each other by kissing on the cheeks. unless i am mistaken, such greeting style might be against our cultural norms. moreover, as a product of all boys school until o-levels, i feel a bit akward greeting some what agnabee women in this manner. also while greeting a khatoon, am i supposed to wait for the khatoon to indicated what manner she wishes to be greeted with or should i make the first move so that the khatoon does not think i am being stand-offish? and what if i make the first move but the khatoon does not want to be greeted in this manner?
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
I don't know what part of Pakistan you've seen, i've yet to c any men and women greeting each other at davats wiht kisses on the cheeks, and i'd never expect any guy here (in US) to greet me w/ a hug or a kiss...
a handshake should be enough, but if it's a desi woman, say salaam and wait for her to extend her hand..it wouldn' be rude if you didn't make the first move to kiss them on the cheeks, but it would be rude and i guess awkward if u rejected them when they make the first move....
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
unfortunately, i am friends with a lot of people who belong to the karachi burger crowd and who always greet each other in the manner described above. i am afraid i might look like an outsider if i dont follow the norm.
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
faisah badahah, aap wannabe logon ki partion mein ja rahayhain, there is some of that species here as well, just greet them as you would.
start your own norm,
anyways this phenoemnon is not new and first i experienced was over 10 years ago. back then I would just mak a dramatic greeting with my hands clasped over my heart and nodding my head or even doing farshi salam :D
the latter one does not work, but the former still works, plus it sends a message about personal space.
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
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unfortunately, i am friends with a lot of people who belong to the karachi burger crowd and who always greet each other in the manner described above. i am afraid i might look like an outsider if i dont follow the norm.
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U r YOU...be it an outsider or not.....don't try to fit in by doing something wrong... be yourself.... do wht ur heart agrees to..... just greet in an appropirate way........
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
Hey if you're not comfortable w/ something, then don't do it! How ppl react will be a true test to how "accepting" and "liberal" this burger crowd may be...
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
you people dont know how judgemental burger crowd is and how these people dont like to associate with down to earth pakistanis like myself. unfortunately, i have recently moved to a new city where i only know karachi and some lhr burgers. i wont have any friends if i dont associate with them. i dont like these people but unfortunately, i cant live like a hermit. i have to fit in.
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
In NY even I try to not get too close when greeting women (not that I'm religious or anything), but if they are very persistent then who am I to say no.
But I do understand ur delimma, the teeny bopper burger crowd, even the boys, are very gossipy. I would suggest not sticking ur neck out but be at the distance where u can shake hands. Ofcourse check who the person is, as Zobia said, if they have a hijab on stay away.
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
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i have to fit in.
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jee...i agree...u hv to fit in....so go ahead ..fit in..but make ur own mark....not just follow in some other persons footsteps....YOU r an individual with ur own likes & dislikes...follow ur heart..not just some foolish thing for the sake of fitting in... u might find it tough in the beginning...but in the end all will turn out fine & good...inshaAllah...:)
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
you people dont know how judgemental burger crowd is and how these people dont like to associate with down to earth pakistanis like myself. unfortunately, i have recently moved to a new city where i only know karachi and some lhr burgers. i wont have any friends if i dont associate with them. i dont like these people but unfortunately, i cant live like a hermit. i have to fit in.
hmmm no other people in the city?
tolerate people you dont like who are friends with your friends, but why try to socialize with people you dont like.
at what point does a group's actions become an issue to a point that you pick your principles over socializing with them?
pick one, pick the other or have the group understand your views. most ppl are more accepting than you think, and not doing everything that the group does, does not make u an outcast. very familiar with the 'burger' crowd, many of my pals are burgers, but they know what I like and dont like, and its not been an issue.
Re: whats with this kissing on the cheeks greeting?
In NY even I try to not get too close when greeting women (not that I'm religious or anything), but if they are very persistent then who am I to say no.
But I do understand ur delimma, the teeny bopper burger crowd, even the boys, are very gossipy. I would suggest not sticking ur neck out but be at the distance where u can shake hands. Ofcourse check who the person is, as Zobia said, if they have a hijab on stay away.
i am not sure if anyone is trying to get close me. its just that when you are with a group and people greet each other in the manner described above, then i feel akward being the odd person out i.e. someone who goes the haath milana route.
..still no havent seen it.
ya i know, irony 
