diwana
October 10, 2012, 6:51am
35
Re: What’s with the hate?
So my kids are born and being raised in the US. While the husband and I teach them about our native countries, they will never love or have the deep-rooted passion for Pakistan or India as my husband and I do, respectively. And being mature about it all, I don’t expect them too. We do plan on educating them about our countries and of course, they are well exposed to our culture and religion already.
So, my kids carry US flags on special days like other American kidos, read up on US history, feel proud of some of the victories, etc… and just the other day, one desi lady asked me why I allow my daughters to have American flags. So I said why not, and also because they ARE American. S**o she started her little speech on how the Americans are tormenting the rest of the world, especially the Islamic countries, and that we should not feel any patriotism whatsoever.
I don’t want to teach my child “hate” for anyone. They need to educate themselves as they grow older and learn our differences and similarities on their own. I cannot transfer my bias to them.
I cannot justify living on this land, earning a decent living, being able to practice my religion freely…yes for those of you who do not believe it, don’t, but my husband and I have prayed namaz in waiting lounges of airport terminals and parking lots of MacDonalds and the first aid room at Disney World. We have azaan at our masjid and white American neighbors once complained but when we told them the significance, they graciously allowed us to continue. Religious discrimination is NOT felt or experienced on a day to day level. Look around GS and you’ll see so many of us enjoying decent lifestyles and good positions at the workplace. There is more discrimination from state to state in India. So how can I speak so harshly about this country yet enjoy all the benefits. I am not endorsing any policies or their socio-political infrastructure, but shouldn’t we be grateful? We always have the choice to leave?
So then I did say to that lady that be thankful you can walk around in a burkha on the streets here. Appreciate your freedom that if your husband beats you, you’ll get help from the government. And if you can’t, leave.
Please share your views. Please discuss. Don’t diss and cuss.
LOL, Diwana, just want to tell you that this woman is very aware of another sister in our community who’s husband did indeed beat her and is jail. We all worked closely on that case. And yes, I work with groups that deal with battered women. **She of all people should not complain. **Perhaps it’s my fault and I should have explained further. Regarding the burkha, well she brought up that this isn’t a muslim country, you see booze everywhere, scantily clad women, no Godly principles etc etc… so I said well hey, you still have the freedom of practicing your religion…no one is stopping you. And then the burkha statement.
OK.
Waisey if her husband did beat her in another country, chances are:
She wouldn’t have the guts to tell her family, or tell when when she’s been beaten up several times.
Her parents would take her through a guilt trip and have her go back to her husband who is jannat ka farishta even though he beats her up.
Even NGOs back home that were formed with great intentions don’t have too many resources or honest people working for them anymore. Not everyone goes to Edhi.
That is how she will live for the rest of her life.
Here, our masjid helps such women not only pay bills, but find work. Social workers get on such cases, be it a muslim or a non-muslim. Cases are followed up and followed through. I see real stories every day.
And oh, please don’t get me wrong. I am not one to think that muslim men are bad husbands or evil people. Not at all. All I’m saying is that if you get in a mess in a 3rd world country or a developing country, it’s hard to get any justice. Guess what, I’m blessed to be living here. Just like I’m in a position to help suffering women here, I hope some day I can make a difference back home as well. At least I got started and don’t just open threads based on other people’s experiences but my own.
Got the main point of your post here.
All your points are applicable outside Pakistsn/or any Muslim countries as well.
Women do not tell their abuse in a lot of countries for one or the other reasons.
Domestic violence is not so uncommon in any country or society (Islamic or not, third world or super power) and goes largely unnoticed despite any law being present to support a woman.
A lot of women do not report these kind of incidences despite they know the law will be on their side.
A lot of women may feel, being beaten is the norm unfortunately.
But using these examples to make a point to **the woman who did not even say anything about the lack of freedom or Burka wearing was uncalled for.
You mentioned:
"S o** she started her little speech on how the Americans are tormenting the rest of the world, especially the Islamic countries, and that we should not feel any patriotism whatsoever"**
What was the specific response to that if any? I think the response to this is missing so far.
