So my kids are born and being raised in the US. While the husband and I teach them about our native countries, they will never love or have the deep-rooted passion for Pakistan or India as my husband and I do, respectively. And being mature about it all, I don’t expect them too. We do plan on educating them about our countries and of course, they are well exposed to our culture and religion already.
So, my kids carry US flags on special days like other American kidos, read up on US history, feel proud of some of the victories, etc… and just the other day, one desi lady asked me why I allow my daughters to have American flags. So I said why not, and also because they ARE American. So she started her little speech on how the Americans are tormenting the rest of the world, especially the Islamic countries, and that we should not feel any patriotism whatsoever.
While I understand where she is coming from, here’s my take on this issue:
I don’t want to teach my child “hate” for anyone. They need to educate themselves as they grow older and learn our differences and similarities on their own. I cannot transfer my bias to them.
I cannot justify living on this land, earning a decent living, being able to practice my religion freely…yes for those of you who do not believe it, don’t, but my husband and I have prayed namaz in waiting lounges of airport terminals and parking lots of MacDonalds and the first aid room at Disney World. We have azaan at our masjid and white American neighbors once complained but when we told them the significance, they graciously allowed us to continue. Religious discrimination is NOT felt or experienced on a day to day level. Look around GS and you’ll see so many of us enjoying decent lifestyles and good positions at the workplace. There is more discrimination from state to state in India. So how can I speak so harshly about this country yet enjoy all the benefits. I am not endorsing any policies or their socio-political infrastructure, but shouldn’t we be grateful? We always have the choice to leave?
So then I did say to that lady that be thankful you can walk around in a burkha on the streets here. Appreciate your freedom that if your husband beats you, you’ll get help from the government. And if you can’t, leave.
Please share your views. Please discuss. Don’t diss and cuss.
I agree with you whole heartedly, I was raised in the gulf and even though we speak Urdu and we eat desi food I feel like the country I grew up in is my home country.
I think my kids might feel the same way about Canada if they grow up here. I just don't get bashing the country that gives you your daily bread and butter in a dignified manner .
Agree with all the rest you said but have problem with this two part sentence.
A- Appreciation for walking around in a burka would mean that somehow the US Govt or laws **should not **allow Burka but this woman should be very thankful for being able to since the law does allow her.
B- Husband beating issue you used as a reason to put her down is unfair since it appears as if all other Muslim countries somehow believe in and approve huband beating their wives…
OR
Husband beating is so common that you could easily throw that on to any Muslim woman’s face just to show her how she is lucky to be in a country where husband beating his wife is against the law.
Oh Niks, this is a topic near and dear to my heart. Mainly because my parents got this same comments you did about us girls. My dad went to Pak recently and he heard the same stuff: goron ke mulk mein rehkay apna imaan bech dete hein aap log. Jaise Pakistan mein imaan bhara para huwa hai.
I still get challenged by people...you're not an American. You never will be. One dude that approached me for a rishta said that. Aap kabhi bhi American nahin ban payengi...to in ke beech mein kyun ghusti hein, blah blah blah. I tuned out. Its not about ghusna...everyone is an immigrant here...including the goray. No one is more American than the other. Soch samaj ke baat nahin karte hein.
There is so much hate in peoples' hearts but they still want to be here. Why? Why do people want to be here if they don't like the US? Why do you want to take advantage of the life here but bash the gov't that provides you with it?
Just as FYI: Husband beating tool is just another weapon non-Muslims use against Muslims in any argument despite the fact that a lot of Non- muslim Families/cultures including Hindus, Christians, Buddhas, etc. do have domestic violence and one cannot use this against any Muslim woman to make her feel good or bad in any argument.
She didn't say any of the above actually or even imply it.
Reha my friend, you and I and many of us reading this can understand what this means in English.
Here it is.
"So then I did say to that lady that "be thankful" you can walk around in a burkha on the streets here. "Appreciate" your freedom that if your husband beats you, you'll get help from the government. And if you can't, leave."
Now please read these bold parts and read what I said in response. You will find nothing which I made up and you need to come to defend to. :)
She meant to say that religious minorities’ and women’s rights are not always upheld in other countries around the world, regardless of whether or not it’s a Muslim country, and are, for the most part, upheld in the US.
Why are we stuck in tangents here? I am not going to give anecdotes or examples because some people will find weaknesses in the examples and miss the essence of the point.
The point is simple, you live here, you are a resident or citizen, you have to have some sense of belonging or loyalty or being a part of the place, with its weaknesses and strengths all factored in. Otherwise, why be here? I believe that applies to all kinds of groups.
Agreed. I don't understand why people live in a country that is supposedly so antithetical to their views and way of life, and I'm speaking about other countries besides the US.
Personally, I have an interest in preserving Desi culture, which includes India as well as Pakistan, but there are many immigrants of all nationalities who do not care. I feel an affinity for Pakistan, even if many of my values would seem alien to a lot of people who live there, so I would like to pass this on to my kids. That said, I think nationalism and patriotism are detrimental and divisive so, while I would be okay with kids being proud of whatever country they are born in, I would hope that with age and knowledge they would gain a deeper perspective on their heritage and their identity.
meko ab pata chala…thought both of u are from Pakistan 
