As for expectations, I think if brides think it's wrong for their parents to give them stuff, they should treat their inlaws the same way. It's not fair that my parents don't give me anything, and my inlaws start buying stuff for me- it's my husband's responsibility, not his parents', even if they are doing it out of niceness.
In my case, I told my parents I will not be taking jahez, and I told my inlaws the same thing regarding baree. None of the parents should be put under any pressure to give me clothes, jewelry, furnish my house or anything like that. It is my husband's responsibility to provide me with all of that, not his or my parents'. And honestly, I find it odd when girls feel the need to step into a completely furnished house and have everything as soon as they start their married lives. It won't kill them to not have it all set up, you can always do that with time and your money.