I honestly can't imagine that this behavior is that common here, unless the families involved are FOBs; most people here can afford to clothe themselves and won't really marry someone who can't. Maybe I'm not from a community that puts much emphasis on "jahaiz/jahez".
Its not about affordability at ALL - its all about traditions and customs people have in their own families. And most parents here ARE FOBS.... they came from Pakistan and settled here. Their ideals and customs and culture is still Pakistani. "Jahaiz" is one of the things that come along with this. Some families may not put emphasis on it..... and what people want to give or not give is upto them as well.. but I doubt its a "community" thing. The more people I talk about this, the more I am finding out about how common it is..... even here. And these are people that live in all different parts of America. Not one particular community.
China sets are traditionally picked out by spouses shortly before the wedding, but here in the States a dude who couldn't afford his own bedroom furniture or TV would be considered a broke loser and not 'marriageable' material; if he expected his wife or her family to buy those things for him, he would then be considered a "mooch". No chick in her right mind would marry such a person.
It's not about what the dude can and will buy..... its not about how rich he is. Lets be real.... most paki families and guys here are pretty well off in my opinion. Middle class atleast. This tradition has nothing to do with what the girl and guy do and dont want. It's about his parents and the girl's parents. Some girl's parents feel obligated to give these things to her daughter for her to live a comfortable life .... even if the guy's family says its unnecessary. And some guy's families do ask or hint at the fact they expect this........not even necessarily for the couple's OWN place (if they are living apart).... alot of times its to furnish the guy's bedroom in his parents house so that its "set up" when the couple comes and visits them. That is the mentality atleast.
Props to all the families that are moving away from this. It is a messed up custom that does exist in our culture and is a financial hardship on girl's families.
But this thread is about the one-way GIFT GIVING.... a whole separate entity than "Jahaiz" itself. Another tradition that is in our culture. And again...how much a girl's family feels giving or how many people in the laws they want to give gifts to ...varies from family to family. But this one-way gift stuff does exist and is very prevalent...