Thats the attitude I want to see. Im against the concept of Baree and Jehez. I will not participate in it and dont think of it as exciting or fun...like a lot of girls do.
My mother will not speak to anyone who demands Jehez and wont take Baree from anyone either.
I learned that giving furniture as part of the Jehez is a norm in Pakistan. Is this true? Why furniture? She has to bring her own bed to sleep on?
Someone made a good point in here...the 101 outfits, the ten gold sets, the photographer and videographer, etc are also a burden on the father! Its true and its all part of it.
My opinion on the matter is...buy it yourself. Show people you cannot be weighed or measured by how much gold you get and how many clothes you bring with you. Dikhavey ke chakkar mein hum doosri larkiyon ki zindagi kharab kardete hein. We set the bar so high, its hard for anyone else to follow suit and measure up. It takes one person at a time to make a change and we as girls have the power to set the standard in each family for future generations.
I seriously agree with this. I told my parents I want to finance my wedding with my guy whenever that may be. Our parents and families can give us "gifts" and their blessings but that's about it. We are the ones starting our lives together, we should be able to provide for each other as well as be able to put out an event. And it's not a matter of us being young and not having any money- WHY get married then?!? Clearly, you should be able to support yourselves post marriage, if you can't before, then you shouldn't get married! The general rule should be that if you want a grand wedding- be ready to plan and pay for it- the gora's do it and they have much fewer money related issues and insecurities compared to us.