You know what man? change starts from yourself. YOU stand up against it, be the first drop of rain, and someone will follow. I will inshallah.
Let me tell you something, our family (extended aka baraadri) has several rather fancy traditions and there is a party when someone dies. Days of 'maatam', lunches and dinners, and gossip. When my father passed away, Allah bless his soul, we stood up against it. It was a simple janaza and burial, nothing fancy happened. No 'rasams' were allowed by us. Then whoever wanted to stay for reciting Quran, was free to stay, those who didn't, they were free to go. Many sulked and I am sure there was tons of gossip, we didn't give a rat's ass. And alhamdulilah I am proud that we broke the crappy traditions.
When it comes to marriages, inshalah we will do what is right. If you want to see the change, be the change.
Janwer Bhai wants a change - So can I request your hand in marrige to the wonderful Somalian single sister then :)