Hmm okay so I have a question for all of you girls. Most of us here say jahez is not a good thing. But who here has the guts to stand up to society. I mean go back to basic islamic teachings. Who here can say that they want a simple nikah with rukhsati all on the same day and a simple valima. (I think the basic requirement (don't quote me) is 20 people to attend the valima.
So no shor saraba no nothing. And once you are married to stand up to your inlaws who might not openly say anything initally but still have a hope that you will not come empty handed.
Another scenario I know of this couple where the guys parents said we don't want any jahez. So girl came, for what ever reason it did not work out between the couple. The second wife comes in again guys parents say no jahez the second wife refuses to sleep on the same bed as its the same as where the first wife had been on. So hence second wife decides to bring her own bedroom set.
I mean there is always reasons as to why all these unislamic practices go on. I mean growing up I have seen all my cousins friends have fun moderate weddings for me to say no i will not. I do not think that is one thing i can do, Unfortunately.
Just a thought.