I know this is a topic which is usually discussed in Weddings. However, I think its a life problem now so Im posting it here because I want to know what everyone thinks...not just the soon to be brides.
I was talking to someone about this a couple of days ago. Baree and Jehez. Many girls dont get married in Pakistan because there is no Jehez to give with the girl. Families will not accept a girl without taking either a large sum of cash or expensive items in exchange for their son. Years ago there was a rishta for me in which the guy's mother called my mom and blatantly asked how much cash she was going to give in Jehez. My mom laughed and asked "Ive been out of the loop for a bit, what is the going rate for a husband nowadays?"...something to that effect. Needless to say, that woman didnt get a call back from us despite her willingness to "negotiate".
My dad has four girls, where will he be if he has to purchase all of his son-in-laws? I personally know a man who filed bankruptcy after his daughter got married...he gave her everything he had. A car, cash, money for a down payment on a house, jewelry, blah blah blah.
I think as girls we need to start breaking out of this custom by simply not caring what we get and maybe even (WITHOUT OFFENDING) try to get out of taking baree or jehez if at all possible. We owe to every girl's family to stop participating in this archaic tradition.
P.S. - Candy_Apple, this thread was inspired by your thread but it isnt an attack on you. :)
This is something we muslims picked from other religions. Unfortunately we like to pick and choose the way we practice Islam.
Shame shame.
So when my cousin was getting married to this person, his mom asked my aunt for a hefty sum, supposedly to cover the cost of his education, like "oh we've spent so much on him, itna paRha likha damaad mil raha hai aap ko." SO my aunt told her that her daughter is equally educated and when she gets married to her son, she'll be bringing some serious money into their home and they as parents of the girl won't be getting a dime back. That lady was just shocked to hear all this but her son was furious and told his family not to sell him!