So a friend calls you and invites you for dinner with a lot of love and saying things like, “I want all my friends to be there that night, it will be an honor to have you and your family eat with us.”
BUT
You know your husband doesn’t particularly like her husband.
Your husband HATES dinner invitations because he hates eating out and hates it that desis are perpetually late and this particular family is ALWAYS late at other peoples home so chances are they’d be late even in their own home.
She asks you to confirm. You say no, you have to check with husband first. She says, “I will not take ‘no’ for an answer.”
Do you call in a couple of days and lie that you’re out of town or something like that?
so where is "you" in the whole story? what about "you" ? Although it seems like story is about your friend, your husband and husband of your friend, but one who really matters in this story is YOU.
Do you like your friend? Do you want to go? (apart that you dont want to go BECAUSE your husband....)
if that person is a good friend of wife, how about husband going along with wife BECAUSE wife wants to?
Could you attend the invitation....give an excuse....and leave early? What if you were to call your friend and let her know that you'd come but can't stay for long........perhaps the time limit you mention might even motivate her to serve the food at an earlier time.
If other guests will also be there, then your husband will have more variety in terms of conversation. He doesn't have to talk only to your friend's husband.....he can find other more suitable company there as well.
Maybe you can help your friend get the table and food settled. I've heard some women sometimes suggest to the host "The food looks delicious....maybe we can start setting the table as it's alread ____ 0'clock. Let me help you out with that." ***If you're going to be taking the kids with you....you may want to take a small snack or something with you for them.
Or....how about this. Attend the invitation. And if your friend's husband says something disagreeable.....your husband can really lash out at him...or say something snide. And then you guys won't ever be invited there again.
I am strangely not a fan of food... I will eat when I have too... no more no less.
But if someone invites me to a meal I will discuss it with the Wife, we go together or not at all...
Supposing certain conditions are met I have no problem with attending any invitations... If my Wife does not like the other party then I will decline. Nothing comes before your own side.
My SO and I are not conjoined twins. I can go have dinner and spend time with my friend(s) without him. And he can do the same.
In the scenario you described, it's interesting how there is no mention of what the WIFE wants. Its all about what the husband wants and how he feels. If the WIFE wants to go to the dinner that her friend invited her to, then I see no reason as to why the WIFE can't go by herself. Now if the wife herself doesn't want to go....then that's a different story.
Could you attend the invitation....give an excuse....and leave early? What if you were to call your friend and let her know that you'd come but can't stay for long........perhaps the time limit you mention might even motivate her to serve the food at an earlier time.
that does not work. They would keep saying 'aray khana khaa'ey baghair nahee jaa'ain, bus khana lugne hee wala hai'. and they stll serve dinner at their regular time.
Another things that I hate in desi parties is that when host decides to wait up for the last couple who is running 2 hours behind. That is a total disregard of people who showed up on time. Now they are hungry, their kids are hungry, but you want to be a model host and not going to serve dinner till your loser friend is going to show up.
Last time it happened in someone's party, I got up and told host that I am taking food for my kids as they are hungry. 3 other people followed me (for their kids). Host had to start serving out of embarrassment.
Very true. I normally just leave as I see fit. Kuch bhi bahana ker k (ok jhoot bol ker )
I hate when people who reach on time get punished for people who are late…
I remember this one of the wedding I went to. Lerkee k walid sahab was so strict about the timings that he started serving dinner even before the barat arrived. All lerkay waly were so BHAOOOEWWD
So a friend calls you and invites you for dinner with a lot of love and saying things like, "I want all my friends to be there that night, it will be an honor to have you and your family eat with us."
BUT
You know your husband doesn't particularly like her husband.
Your husband HATES dinner invitations because he hates eating out and hates it that desis are perpetually late and this particular family is ALWAYS late at other peoples home so chances are they'd be late even in their own home.
She asks you to confirm. You say no, you have to check with husband first. She says, "I will not take 'no' for an answer."
Do you call in a couple of days and lie that you're out of town or something like that?
If the wife wants to go but husband doesnt....why doesnt wife just go with kids?
that does not work. They would keep saying 'aray khana khaa'ey baghair nahee jaa'ain, bus khana lugne hee wala hai'. and they stll serve dinner at their regular time.
Another things that I hate in desi parties is that when host decides to wait up for the last couple who is running 2 hours behind. That is a total disregard of people who showed up on time. Now they are hungry, their kids are hungry, but you want to be a model host and not going to serve dinner till your loser friend is going to show up.
Last time it happened in someone's party, I got up and told host that I am taking food for my kids as they are hungry. 3 other people followed me (for their kids). Host had to start serving out of embarrassment.
I do admit, those kind of hosts are extremely annoying.
I've never thrown a dinner party but if I did, I would not do that...
She’s not really a “good” friend. We know them through other friends. She’s a nice lady but not one I would randomly call and chit chat with. Anyhow, having said that, I don’t mind going to people’s homes when they invite us for dinner. But I know my husband HATES going to dinners and I’m OK with not going. If this was a “close” friend I would have >> and made him go . But in this case, I’m not too motivated either and would like to chalao the bandook using his kandha if you know what I mean .
)
and made him go 
. But in this case, I’m not too motivated either and would like to chalao the bandook using his kandha if you know what I mean 
.
hehe: yes I know exactly what you mean.