Suppose..there’s a guy who wants to marry you but his mother doesn’t approve of this and doesn’t like you simply but somehow,upon being persistent, the guy makes the mother approve of and accept you and agrees to make him get married to you but you know that she is a very strict,stubborn type of a lady who could become a ‘zalim’ mother-in-law, and after the marriage you would have to live with her under the same roof.In such a case, would you marry this guy?You can’t really live separately from her only with your husband because he is the only one she has so, in such a case, what would you do?Should you marry the guy?Or should you just leave him because his mother can make your life hell.What would you do?
Re: What would you do...?!
Were/are you two in a relationship? Did the guy make his mother agree out of his own desire or did he do so because there was an understanding between the two of you?
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You don't tell us wether or not you like him back. It would all depend on how much I 'loved' 'love 'like' the guy. If in my head i couldn't live without the guy maybe I would get married and somehow deal with it. However if this was an arranged marriage and i only liked the guy i would walk away. There is no way you could live your life in such a state and be happy. I have experienced evil mother in laws with several family members and it is not worth it.
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I would advise against it.
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^ Against it?!
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I would suggest get married and then ***** on Life 1 for a good portion of your day and the rest of your life.
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Discuss this issue with him. Tell him what you fear might happen. See what he has to say. If he really understands the issue, you two might be able to come up with a solution, or at least an understanding that he will stand up for you when the mother is being irrational, and her if you're being irrational.
If the conversation doesn't go well (and fails to go well when repeated), I would end it.
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life decisions r so confusing n hard
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if he can manage to put his wife in a seperate house then there is no problem. My MIL did not want my husband to marry me but it didnt really matter much coz we live seperately
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life decisions r so confusing n hard
So True!
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so... do mothers usually EVENTUALLY agree to the choice of their sons if the sons persist and if the girls REMAIN available... Usually mothers have to quit and agree to their sons' choices... right or wrong? Your experiences in general?
Re: What would you do...?!
so... do mothers usually EVENTUALLY agree to the choice of their sons if the sons persist and if the girls REMAIN available... Usually mothers have to quit and agree to their sons' choices... right or wrong? Your experiences in general?
I believe mother of a guy would eventually give up and accepts his choice in most of the cases if the guy remains persistent, but i believe,such mother-in-laws would make their bahus' lives hell...just my thoughts!
Re: What would you do...?!
Suppose..there's a guy who wants to marry you but his mother doesn't approve of this and doesn't like you simply but somehow,upon being persistent, the guy makes the mother approve of and accept you and agrees to make him get married to you but you know that she is a very strict,stubborn type of a lady who could become a 'zalim' mother-in-law, and after the marriage you would have to live with her under the same roof.In such a case, would you marry this guy?You can't really live separately from her only with your husband because he is the only one she has so, in such a case, what would you do?Should you marry the guy?Or should you just leave him because his mother can make your life hell.What would you do?
my grandmother made my mom's life hell, and my mom told us time and time again it's all worth it bc of the love she and my dad has for each other. It did cause lots of issues at times but overall. however she advises us it's not worth signing up for because in her case her mother in law was overseas until i was about 6....so they had 8 years to live alone as a married couple and bond. if you have to move in right away with a mother in law that hates you chances are she'll eventually see to it that you are miserable and ask for a divorce. a man will almost always take his mother's side over his bride's that's just life.
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I dont think you love him enough. If you did, there would be no question in your mind.
The only scenario in which this would work is if you were very very very persistent in your love for your husband. You didnt give up and you didnt allow MIL to get to you. Your husband will also have to be fair and supportive of you. He cannot turn a blind eye to his mother's faults and become the TV serial type husband.
If your faith in your relationship waivers...thats when your life will really become hell.
It looks to me as if you really dont want to do this, in which case........dont.
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I would avoid starting a relationship like that. Definitely wouldn't continue it.
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I dont think you love him enough. If you did, there would be no question in your mind.
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i agree. if it was love u wouldnt care who u had to live with!
Re: What would you do...?!
Suppose..there's a guy who wants to marry you but his mother doesn't approve of this and doesn't like you simply but somehow,upon being persistent, the guy makes the mother approve of and accept you and agrees to make him get married to you but you know that she is a very strict,stubborn type of a lady who could become a 'zalim' mother-in-law, and after the marriage you would have to live with her under the same roof.In such a case, would you marry this guy?You can't really live separately from her only with your husband because he is the only one she has so, in such a case, what would you do?Should you marry the guy?Or should you just leave him because his mother can make your life hell.What would you do?
You know dudette, if I was a girl, I would not marry him. I said it somehwere that after forcing a love marriage on their mothers and getting an approval (especially when there was an initial resistance by his mother like in above case), guys go into a sudden guilt trip right after marriage and not only become submissive to their moms, but expect wife to do that to. This is where girls come back and say, oh before marriage he was so much in love with me and now he does not even care about me.
This is what happens, guilt trap.
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The guy is making an effort here and probably will after getting married to support you and get your point across to his mother. What more can a Girl ask for?
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If a guy has done sooo much hard work to make his mom agree... this means he is serious enough for the girl and the girl now shud not back off with the relationship... as far as the fear of a strict mom in law is concerned, this fear is present even if she opts out to marry another person as mothers are usually very touchy for their sons but it is the bahus who should work hard to consider their mom in laws like their own moms, giving them respect and I do not see why the relationship won't be good between moms in law n their bahu regardless of the nature of marriage (love marriage or arranged marriage), although it might take a lot of time and hard work on bahu's part....
Re: What would you do...?!
Suppose..there's a guy who wants to marry you but his mother doesn't approve of this and doesn't like you simply but somehow,upon being persistent, the guy makes the mother approve of and accept you and agrees to make him get married to you but you know that she is a very strict,stubborn type of a lady who could become a 'zalim' mother-in-law, and after the marriage you would have to live with her under the same roof.In such a case, would you marry this guy?You can't really live separately from her only with your husband because he is the only one she has so, in such a case, what would you do?Should you marry the guy?Or should you just leave him because his mother can make your life hell.What would you do?
I am not the one in love SO my answer may not make much sense but i wouldnt go ahead with such a relationship. Because for me marriage is not getting together of two people only (i.e the husband and the wife) but its about two families getting together and accepting each other in their lives. So in such a case that wouldnt be possible. For my love, i would definately do my best to figure out why his mother doesnt like me and if possible have a heart to heart with her and clear out any misunderstanding there may be. If it doesnt even work out then, i wl have no option to backout. I wouldnt want any guy to leave his parents or family for me even if he was willing because if he can leave his family for me, i am sure later on he can leave me for somebody else too :) Just my two cents.