Re: what would you do?
No one can follow the Prophet :saw:'s example and he didn’t always have stale bread and meat…
Bibi Khadija 
was a well off ‘career’ woman with a thriving business of her own, so I doubt she’d offer stale bread and meat…
And today, in an age when things have become so easy to cook and acquire, what kind of a woman is going to cook stale bread for her husband?
You have a little more maturity to reach before you come up with examples that complement your arguments…
Re: what would you do?
i try to match the maturity of those i reply to …
Re: what would you do?
In my opinion, Lajawab cannot comprehend a marriage of equals.
Re: what would you do?
^^ yes he is wayyyyy too mature.
Re: what would you do?
Good…But try to use analogies that actually fit the situation…
Re: what would you do?
im sorry but thats exactly how i talk to those that hold messed up views such as yourself, who think that a career minded woman is not fit for marriage etc etc.
Re: what would you do?
^^
If that is what you got from what I wrote, then you know best whether you are mature or need some more growing up to do...
Re: what would you do?
**no. why should they? are they exchanging women?is this barter trade or is a man marrying a partner? **
ohkaaaaaaaay then…moving on…
all i can say is u have serious ego issues. u r only concerned about how independent a woman is. u r saying there were no screwed up kids before women started focusing on careers? or do u have a certain definition of screwed up?
and chances are her mother and her mother’s mother was obnoxious too since they raised an obnoxious daughter.
lajawab can read every independent woman’s mind.
and also that of the men the independent woman marries.
if anything it should be the opposite. independent women and men should not be concerned about marriage ending in divorce.
thats all it comes down to…food.
Re: what would you do?
What's more is that SOME of these wannabe working women wouldn't know a career if it hit them in the face, it merely serves as convenient excuse to delay marriage. Hypocrisy is never an admirable trait......
Re: what would you do?
Lajawab- where in Islam does it say that it should be the woman adopting a new family? New set of parents, siblings etc? I've never come across this.. other than ofcourse that a part of Pakistani culture. All I know is that both have an equal responsibility towards the other's family..
Re: what would you do?
**
[QUOTE]
thats all it comes down to....food.
[/QUOTE]
**
Of course it does, you have to have food....three requirements for a male:
You better remember that shweety
Re: what would you do?
sports ki tou aisi ki taisi!
i wanna open a thread on bashing sports…
are sports halaal?bolo bolo bolo???
Re: what would you do?
well it should be ! 
i bet if we had female clerics…sports would be haraam…
Re: what would you do?
That is why we will not allow women clerics....
Re: what would you do?
In a post in another thread, you discussed how you consciously tried to pull yourself away from aspects of culture that had been confused with religion, and tried to learn about Islam itself. I applaud this act. But I fear with the comment below, you are falling for the same trap.
I’ve never heard this before, nor have I ever seen from any Quranic or Hadith reference a suggestion that the husband is not becoming a part of the wife’s family as well. Certainly the girl is often living with her husband’s family, but that doesn’t mean that he is not expected to create a friendly/loving relationship with her family.
Absolutely agree.
No, but I understand. Certainly, the wife should try to become part of the family, just as her inlaws will accept her into it, and treat her as their own.
I’m not sure what this has to do with the original posters predicament. I think it’s good that the rishta and his family have laid out their expectations clearly. They don’t want a bahu who works. She wants to work. If no one is willing to compromise on this priority, then I think it makes sense to look elsewhere for a spouse. No sense forcing a marriage when the couple will not feel like companions to each other. Why begin somethng so sacred with conflict and resentment?
I’m not sure what you mean by “liberated,” but I’ve encountered very few women who behave this way, and I think they are educated and aware of their rights. Knowing your rights and abilities does not make one “ready to smash heads.” That’s usually a sign of insecurity, and I think you shouldn’t confuse these different types of women. They don’t fall neatly into two categories “liberated” and “obedient.”
I agree. Like I said, there aren’t only two options for behavior. You make it seem as if a woman is either insanely aggressive and offensive or entirely meek, silent, and obedient, even though I don’t think that that’s what you mean to say. Don’t ignore the other options.
I agree. Being unwilling to leave yourself vulnerable makes relationships nearly impossible. I think this is stubborness and also a defense mechanism. Both spouses should be open to giving to and needing the other.
Certainly, if a spouse insists on being independent and disregarding the needs of other family members, the marriage will be a sad one. Again, this goes for both spouses. This isn’t limited to wives.
This is all true, but irrelevant. What does this have to do with the original posters concerns. Just because she isn’t ready to marry one specific guy she is suddenly obnoxious?? This seems like a very unfair leap. Who says she will treat any of these people badly?
That’s a rather silly and illogical assumption. I think that wanting to find a compatible husband means that the woman is taking marriage seriously, looking for someone she can commit to because she doesn’t want a relationship based on nothing.
Again, you’re confusing the issue. Your definition of independence doesn’t apply to this case.
Absolutely true, but again irrelevant for what we are talking about here. No one is mentioning a relationship where the individual disregards the needs of the other. Not sure where all of this is coming from.
Who said they did?
Having a career does not mean you refuse to care for the other person. If a husband works, does that mean he will not care for his wife? Hardly. It is possible for many people (tho apparently not for some) to balance both, keeping the spouse and family as the priority while maintaining a career or hobby or whatever.
Yes, thank you. I hope my reply is helpful.
