Re: what would you do?
A guy who forces his wife to do something which is against her wishes is not "worth it".
Re: what would you do?
why do u have to get married if your parents are getting old and weak?
is that gonna make em young n strong again?
Re: what would you do?
I don't think it's that easy FG...One doesn't walk out to the shop and get a husband to one's fitting...Specially a spouse hunt for a woman is not easy...
As far as my personal opinion goes, this 'career woman' thingie is something that we are following the west in...And as always, we have to follow what they do, even if it means destroying all that is important in life...
So OK, you want a career life, let's say you got it...What then? Let's say you start a fantastic job at 25 and dedicate 10 years of your life to that job...You are now 35...Many women start going through menopause at this time around and pregnancies get more and more difficult as age increases...
Also, the stigma of marrying at a later age...And rightly so, any guy who wishes to get married also wants children...
So, sacrificing something like marriage, which is what is natural and God given for something which is unnatural like a career, what kind of a person would do that? To give up having one's own children, to raise one's own family, to lead a life with a lifelong partner...What sensible women will give that up for a life of perpetual loneliness doing the same thing for decades and then dying alone?
You must weigh these things...What is more important? a lifelong partner with whom one can lead a normal life with or a monotonous life repetition?
Forget the wests' idea of a career woman...The noblest task a Muslim woman can perform is raise a good family and dedicate her life to that goal...
Ask any married woman...Even the unhappy ones...Even then, they wouldn;t have it any other way...
Re: what would you do?
^ Lajawab, what makes a career unnatural?
I don't think that a woman should wait until she has completely established herself in a career in order to marry. However, marrying someone who expects you to give up something you aren't willing to give up is not the way to begin a relationship, or something as sacred as marriage. There are a lot of good men out there who would not place this restriction upon her, and inshAllah, when she is ready, she will meet one she can see herself spending the rest of her life with, she will marry him.
I don't condone unhappy marriages over no marriage at all. And I don't think Islam does either -- that is why divorce is allowed when necessary.
A marriage should be built on trust and a commitment to each other; if she can't see herself commiting to this specific man, there is no point rushing in to marriage with him.
Also, this myth of career woman=western woman has been created by "Eastern men" who get their jollies out of restricting the rights and lives of the women around them. Eastern women had jobs well before colonization. They also worked at the time of the Prophet, SAW.
And since you have awoken the feminist in me, please note that just because patriarchal society does not dub what a female commits her life to as a "career" and does not pay her for it, doesn't mean she doesn't have one.
Re: what would you do?
dont u think u r assuming a bit too much here?
i have met lots of women who wish they didnt get married so soon and had the time to sort out what they really wanted to do in life or have a career. alot of them wish they had more control (financially too) over their lives.
the prophet muhammad married a business woman in her 40’s. he didnt seem to have a problem with that…no ego trips over her being a successful business woman.
being career minded is not a product of the west. just because the women here have gotten equal status to men when it comes to choosing a career doesnt mean they always had this choice.they had to fight their way for this.
the point is to always have the choice. i think that just as it is not fair for society to hold the men responsible for earning the money, its not fair to expect the woman to cook n clean. a compatible couple should be able to work out what their contributions should be and they shouldnt be telling each other what to do or what not to do and instead sharing the workload.
Re: what would you do?
Yes, you tell him shweety
Re: what would you do?
im so glad we are friends.
Re: what would you do?
funguy is a succesful career woman all about a good husband only.DAMN IT.
Re: what would you do?
thinking thinking thinking, is the man rich? if not then i'd like to keep the man and teh career both.
Re: what would you do?
shade has nothing to do with career i think . do what u feel is more important for u ..career r getting married :k: Good luck ..
Re: what would you do?
Personally speaking (and I DO mean personally!) I had a really good career and I always saw myself as being one of those childless Manhattan/Wall St career women. I was doing good with that. But then I met my love and all I wanted was to make babies with him and have the "white picket fence" type of life with our family.
You have to "go with the flow" as they say. My only regret is that I didnt meet my love earlier cause when you have kiddies in your 30s you get so dam tired! I spent my 20s working working working when all that energy cudda gone to kiddies but well, live and learn. and when you're ready, your'e ready. If youre not, then you're not. Go for what you WANT and above all else, enjoy what you HAVE!
Re: what would you do?
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! u r making me want to eat a double fudge chocolate chip brownie:(
Re: what would you do?
Careers are overrated. Why work so hard to make some one else rich?
I've already given up on a "career", and have settled for the fact that I simply have a Job. If you let your career become an identifying aspect of your life, I think it's the wrong way to go...
Now if only I could musture up enough courage to start my own business...THEN it makes sense working your ass off...
Re: what would you do?
Shweet Shut the hellll upppp i hav rozaaa 
Re: what would you do?
^^ lolz sorry PUNCH!
Re: what would you do?
Ow! :(
Re: what would you do?
Only if there were more women like you
Re: what would you do?
Fantastic, keep in mind that you can't expect anyone to change for you. If he prefers you not to work before/after marriage, then you shouldn't make plans based on the fact that you will change him.
Re: what would you do?
In marriages, particularly Islamic marriages, the girl is the one who is adopting a new family…
As a result what is happening, is that the girl is, in a way, getting a new family altogether…New parents, new siblings, new relations while the in laws are getting a new daughter, sister e.t.c…
Now, if the family has daughters raised in a certain way, wouldn’t the family who is getting a new daughter have some expectations of her? The same expectations that they would have from their own daughters?
If a family had daughters, who were raised in a particular way, isn’t it natural that the daughter they are receiving in the form of a Bahu, also conform to a certain extent to the needs of the family?
Don’t know if you have heard the song, ‘Banno jhukki jhukki jaiyo susraal galiyaan’…Meaning, daughter go humbly humbly to the streets of your in laws…
Today’s ‘liberated’ women goes into the house of her new family all puffed up ready to smash heads…That is not the mark of well raised daughters and reflects upon her parents…Any woman who enters a relationship with the concept ‘I am self-sufficient and can carry any burden alone of the need be and I don’t have to compromise anything’ becomes furtive…They threaten to break any relation with the notion of ‘independence’…First independence, then family…No wonder there are so many divorces nowadays and screwed up kids…Their mothers cannot sacrifice their independence for the family from the start…
If the girl is obnoxious with her in laws, chances are she was obnoxious with her parents, will be obnoxious with the husband and will raise obnoxious children…And in this day and age, obnoxious children are the least of the requirements…Particularly for Muslims…
As for independent women seeking men that they find suitable, are not actually looking for men who they can spend their life with…They are looking for men with whom they can break apart their relationship easily…No strings attached, no families to be concerned about…
And such men too aren’t really interested in marriages…They just want a wife who doesn’t make demands, is independent, doesn’t get in their hair and one with whom they can say adieu if the problems becomes a little out of hand…
With so little dependency and want of intimate nakhrays from each other, these independent men and women lead uncertain lives…Each not trusting the other…Not making demands of each other like husbands and wives are supposed to make…Because they know, it might escalate and end up in divorce…
The women at the time of the Holy Prophet :saw: didn’t put careers first…They put their family first…It was Khadija 
who used to walk to Hira in her age, a good two hours walk from her house and used to bring food for the Holy Prophet :saw:…Would the career woman do that? She wouldn’t even make food…
This post is getting way too long…But you get the idea…
Re: what would you do?
the prophet ate stale bread and only had meat once in a while.
are u guys willing to have a wife who promises to cook exactly that for you? since we are following the prophets examples...