Re: what would you do?
In marriages, particularly Islamic marriages, the girl is the one who is adopting a new family…
As a result what is happening, is that the girl is, in a way, getting a new family altogether…New parents, new siblings, new relations while the in laws are getting a new daughter, sister e.t.c…
Now, if the family has daughters raised in a certain way, wouldn’t the family who is getting a new daughter have some expectations of her? The same expectations that they would have from their own daughters?
If a family had daughters, who were raised in a particular way, isn’t it natural that the daughter they are receiving in the form of a Bahu, also conform to a certain extent to the needs of the family?
Don’t know if you have heard the song, ‘Banno jhukki jhukki jaiyo susraal galiyaan’…Meaning, daughter go humbly humbly to the streets of your in laws…
Today’s ‘liberated’ women goes into the house of her new family all puffed up ready to smash heads…That is not the mark of well raised daughters and reflects upon her parents…Any woman who enters a relationship with the concept ‘I am self-sufficient and can carry any burden alone of the need be and I don’t have to compromise anything’ becomes furtive…They threaten to break any relation with the notion of ‘independence’…First independence, then family…No wonder there are so many divorces nowadays and screwed up kids…Their mothers cannot sacrifice their independence for the family from the start…
If the girl is obnoxious with her in laws, chances are she was obnoxious with her parents, will be obnoxious with the husband and will raise obnoxious children…And in this day and age, obnoxious children are the least of the requirements…Particularly for Muslims…
As for independent women seeking men that they find suitable, are not actually looking for men who they can spend their life with…They are looking for men with whom they can break apart their relationship easily…No strings attached, no families to be concerned about…
And such men too aren’t really interested in marriages…They just want a wife who doesn’t make demands, is independent, doesn’t get in their hair and one with whom they can say adieu if the problems becomes a little out of hand…
With so little dependency and want of intimate nakhrays from each other, these independent men and women lead uncertain lives…Each not trusting the other…Not making demands of each other like husbands and wives are supposed to make…Because they know, it might escalate and end up in divorce…
The women at the time of the Holy Prophet :saw: didn’t put careers first…They put their family first…It was Khadija 
who used to walk to Hira in her age, a good two hours walk from her house and used to bring food for the Holy Prophet :saw:…Would the career woman do that? She wouldn’t even make food…
This post is getting way too long…But you get the idea…