Re: What would you do ?
Brother Maniac,
Ask not what others would do in this case-ask yourself what prophet Muhammad (SAW) would have done in this situation.
JazakAllah.
Re: What would you do ?
Putting who down? The one who kissed her or her boyfriend? I'm not putting him down. And unwanted sexual contact (a kiss, fondling, sex) does count as assault, though to a much lesser degree than what you (generally) normally apply it to. And I think he mentioned her ethnicity because Asian culture still values passivity and shyness as virtues, and if a girl is molested, she invited it upon herself. I'm not saying she was totally in teh right or he did the perfect thing, but hey they did what they thought was appropriate for the situation...
Re: What would you do ?
agree with minah… :k:
its all a bit wishy washy though… I reckon the aquaintance handled it pretty well
Re: What would you do ?
asian culture still values passivity and shyness as virtues? its a bit of a generalisation no? and maniac stating his friend is a gora… thats a lil bit sad (and kinda racist too)
the colour of ur skin nor ur race should define ur morals or how u deal with things.. thats absurd..
Re: What would you do ?
He could go and talk to the guy in person…but again it would not have been only a “talk”, it could become more than that. If he can control his anger then he could say something in person. I wouldn’t want my husband to end up in jail just becuz he lost his temper 
minah is right
Re: What would you do ?
Yes, it does. Hello, look at our own culture. A girl gets harrassed it’s her own damn fault, never the guys’ I’m not saying that’s WHY she didn’t say anything, but it could be a reason. Of course there are exceptions but certain characteristics are hte norm. We gotta stop thinkin that cultural stereotypes dont’ exist. There’s a reason they exist because. Certain traits are seen as appealing in certain cultures.
And no race doesn’t define one’s morals alone, but it certainly does play a factor, you can’t deny it. And that theory I applied, can only be one of the many reasons the people involved reacted the way they did.
Re: What would you do ?
:nono:
You should skip town after this comment, Minah is coming. 
Re: What would you do ?
I argue only with the best :D
Re: What would you do ?
No there’s nothing ‘racist’ about me calling my aquaintance a gora. He’s gora, and thats the end of it. Morals dont have to do anything with it but perhaps culture does. Typically desi’s are more protective compared to gora’s who it seems are more used to it and thus not as protective.
Different worlds, definetly not racism.
Re: What would you do ?
right, and thats why a guy gets beaten half to death in bazaars in pak if he touches or eyes a girl… it’s not always the girls fault. Trust me, guys in our culture do get punished quite a bit too
no.. race does not play a factor. Just cus we’re born into a certain race, doesnt mean we automatically have a different set of values and morals to supposedly “gore” laug…
the school i went to, most of my “gore” friends had way way way more morals compared to the desis i knew at the time (and even now).. so dont generalise..
Re: What would you do ?
ok, maybe not racist, but i really dont think it defines one’s beliefs. “gore” people can be just as protective and desi people can be just as liberal and forgiving..
Re: What would you do ?
I dunno, usually its the girls who get the punishment for being too “forward” or “assertive.” And I was joking about it being the girls fault :halo: You mean to say taht the culture ur born into has no impact on your moral education at all? (in this context, race and culture used interchangeably). And I never said one race or culture is superior to the other.
Re: What would you do ?
i never said it has no impact... i said culture doesnt give us morals..
Re: What would you do ?
Oh where to start…
LI - troublemaker.
Sara516 - Yes, one’s culture does have an impact, but as sadzzz pointed out culture doesn’t give morals. The guy in this scenario acted like a man with character. Going and beating another guy is childish and a sign of a person with no control over his enviroment nor his emotions. The girl, for whatever reasons she had hid the incident and brought it up weeks after it happened. For whatever reason and without my biased opinion, what was he to do realistically? The man wasn’t there and there was no way the guy accused could defend himself. We know nothing other than what was told here which was sparsely factual at best. Other than what this girl said, there is reason to believe it didn’t happen either. You never know, so his actions were right along the lines any ADULT would have taken.
NOW…
What the heck is this crock of hooey? Give me a break. You think going and beating some guy because your girlfriend mentioned a few weeks after the fact he kissed her is being protective??? Come on…
Try thinking with your head for a change.
And what the heck is this → “used to it”? NO, they aren’t used to it, it is an insult in any race or culture anywhere. None of the friends I have ever had would consider doing this, it has only been one guy who has ever crossed that line and he was a Paki guy. Should I believe something negative about Paki men because of it.
The reason it didn’t warrant any reaction over and above the one he gave was for the fact his girlfriend was not honest and open with him or she would have told him right off the bat instead of hiding it. In any culture or race that applies, it’s relationship rule number one - Be open and honest about everything, especially any problems with anyone of the opposite sex. If you’re not, it will bite you in the a$$.
Putting down this guy for acting like an adult really says something about your own growth and maturity.
Re: What would you do ?
since we’re on the topic of culture and race influencing the way we behave… our morals.. id just like to talk about an incident that happened about a year and a half ago
I was on a flight from bangkok to lahore, so it mainly contained pakistani… pakistani men to be exact, and not exagerating.. but there were maybe maximum 10 females on the flight.. out of which there were 3 asian girls (chinese asian)… some pakistani lad got drunk (toba toba) and started harrassing the girls… who screamed and left their seats and went and sat on the floor in the front..
:halo: yes.. culture gives us morals
Re: What would you do ?
i agree with sadzz and minah. culture so doesnt gives us morals. there are numerous qissay stories of pakistani guyz with ****ed up harkataien.
sadzz episode reminds of something happened to me few years ago. i was in the train when these two punjabi pakistani guyz entered and even though i told them off, they kept harrassing and giving out weird comments. luckily i dont know punjabi that much so i didnt get half of the things they were saying. it was just so ****in annoying and irritating. as soon as they got off, the the guard (gora) in the train came up to me n started making small talk and asked me if i was okay ... he was such a sweet old man.
afsoos howa k even though those guys were muslim were acting in such an idiotic way.
Re: What would you do ?
so its ok if his friend hangs out with his girlfriend but he shud not kiss…
or lets rephrase it as u did in the first post…
its ok if a friend of yours hangs out with your wife, but he shud not be kissing her…
well not full on the mouth anyway…
u put ur wife/gf on public display in clubs etc and sure u’ll find someone who comes around to show his admiration…
Re: What would you do ?
armughal - you started out reasonable then just disolved into weirdness, got to love you, you contradictory mess, you
You seem so fair at times but never ever have you once ever gave women the sense, freedom, or strength you automatically give men. Why on earth should a place not be open to women just because a woman may catch someone's eye? You always seem to restrict the wrong person. The person kissing the girl was wrong, so why blame the woman and keep her home just because it MIGHT happen. Restrict the guy if they can't behave.
It's funny, but very, very rarely do you ever hear of a woman doing stupid stuff like this yet, always guys like you come out of the blue and say "well, she should be kept home and away from everyone" like women ask for this. Men should control themselves, women seem to have very little problems with that.
So, tell me, why can't men have any self-control? I'm sure your book tells you you should, right?
Re: What would you do ?
hey i just think the guys reaction is more an indication of how much he's into this girl.
If for example, he really has got strong feelings for her, then rather than sending out emails he would have instinctively socked a punch right to his chin.
but if he's just kinda "not tht into her" then the email is good enough too.
besides all tht, it also depends upon who hes dealing with. if the other guy is a 6.5", 600 pound gorilla, getting into a physical fight might not even be the smartest thing to do, u know. so u gotta thing with your brain in such situations rather than letting your heart carry you away.
just my 2 cents :)
Re: What would you do ?
^ :halo:
so the more u punch up someone, the more ur into ur girl? right