This gora friend of mine went to a club with some of his buddies and his girlfriend. While he was there one of his friends was hanging out with his girlfriend and kissed her full on the mouth. My friend found out about this 2 weeks later , his girlfriend hadnt told him because she was too ashamed of this (she’s japanese) and thought it was her fault even thought she was forced to kiss.
My friends only reaction to this , aside from getting angry at his buddy, was to write an email to his buddy and tell him that they wont be friends anymore and that it wasnt a good thing to do.
Anyways, so the situation aside, i found it interesting how varied people’s reaction to this were. In general the gora folks i know were pretty pacifistic about it. Their reaction ranging from ‘it happens’, to ‘he was drunk..get over it, people do wierd things when they are drunk’.
My reaction to this was pretty much the opposite. I told him to quit writing emails that make him sound like a 13 year old girl and go do something about it. If someone had done this to my wife i wouldve made sure he wont be reproducing anymore. What would you do in this case ?
Also makes me realize how we are lucky to have our islamic values. Good muslims wouldnt be in a situation like this in the first place.
This kind of thing can happen anywhere in any type of situation, a person doesnt have to be drunk to be stupid...iv seen plenty of sober idiots...men and women.
If i was the lass that he kissed, i would make sure he wouldnt be reproducing too, and i would have done it it right there and then in front of everybody..shameless git.
and yeh the email threats do sound a bit girly...be a man for goodness sake.
Well, at least your friend got mad. That’s helluva lot better than “hey shiit happens.” Does it matter if she’s Japanese? Plus, I dont think your reaction is limited to just Muslims and desis in general. But getting to teh original question, if I was in teh situation, a girl kissed my man (wherever hte hell he is ) I would beat the crap outta her…
Well, to go a bit futher on another's post here, it's not your relationship. The man is dealing with it in a way that is comfortable for him and his girlfriend, so stop judging him. If he was really a friend of yours, act like it and support his decision. Trying to ridicule him in this way is pretty low for a supposed friend.
In my eyes, going to beat up another guy because he touched your woman is lame and juvenile. I think he is handling things in an adult way. I also think that the woman should have said something earlier, I have no idea why she kept quiet, it only makes me think she had something to hide, maybe she did encourage it and regretted it. But that is my opinion, he handled it as an adult handles things.
In handeling the way he did he encourages further such behavior. He lets it be known that if anyone chooses to do such a think they will just get an angry email from him and that will be the end of it.
I dont know if the girl encouraged it or not, to me thats besides the point.
What would you do if some girl came and kissed your husband ?
Oh and he's more of an aquaintance than a friend, and no its not low of me to have such views.
I didn't say it was low to have these views. I said it was low to ridicule a friend (which is what you said he is in your first post) in this way. I also said it is not your relationship, he handled it in the best way for his relationship.
Only the lowest person would come on like that to someone else's girlfrind/boyfriend, not all people would do that. It is a matter of perception then. I percieve the way he handled that shows maturity and straightforwardness. You see an opportunity to take advantage of his girlfriend.
If some girl tried to kiss my husband, I wouldn't have to do anything, I'm pretty sure my husband would handle that just fine. She would be an object of pity for me or a minor annoyance. My husband would be the one angry, he makes it clear to all he is married and hates people who are not straight with him. He has a cruel streak when he thinks someone is lacking in morals and he instinctively seems to know the right thing to say to crush an ego. I've seen it in action, not a pretty sight.
Too many people rely on their fists as opposed to their minds, a pity really, bruises heal.
I dont think you are getting the jist of it are you ?
This isnt about being low or anything. This is about doing whats right. I doubt any self respecting man would sit there and say yeah, it happened, i pitty him.
Bruises may heal but the lessons learnt won’t. They’ll think twice again before choosing to mess with someone elses partner. Its normal for people to demonstrate anger and jealousy, especially towards someone they love. Sometimes rage has its advantages.
If someone messed with my girl I’d give him more than just a handful of words
You know what’s funny? Some girls will get pissed off if a guy gets mad like you guys, Maniac and Starsky etc etc, would. They think ur treating them as property and being controlling and possessive.
^ That depends on how strong your relationship is. If its not, then yes, she'll get pissed. But if you're both serious, then she'll understand why, though not necessarily approve of the response.
maybe..just maybe.. the girl isn't all into your friend. Siht happens. The guy handled it the right way. there is no need to establish a false sense of bravado and do something stupid that will land you in jail or worse.
Not sure if you have ever kissed a girl, but usually flush on the mouth full kiss requireds two people who are into it. If someone you are with chooses to engage in such behavior, there is no need to go ballistic, you need to deteremine why is it that your gf, wife decided it was ok to do that. Same goes for your friend.
oh and the last bit of idiocy about lucky lucky muslims...you make it sound like muslims are from pluto. Most human beings around the world can hang out with gf/wives/bf/husbands of their friends without feeling the need to fk them. if it requires scripture for you to comply with common sense, then get yourself neutered.
And what difference does it make is she was japanese?
Oh for crying out loud, it depends on your level of security. What makes you think that because he sent an e-mail and broke off a friendship he is less of a man? To me, that shows strength. Why on earth should he act like an idiot on the street, beat some guy, go to jail, and even be sued because some guy kisses his girlfriend? Oh please. Geesh, this isn't grade school where no one knows better and everyone is showing off, or is it?
I suggest you grow up just like this aquaintance of yours.
And sara, no, I would prefer to have my husband at my side as opposed to jail. I do not need a man to protect my virtue, how absurd a notion is that? Unlike that girl, I am not shy nor am I quiet when a man oversteps his bounds. Being direct about rejecting them and confronting them directly usually stops that kind of behavior, if they don't (in another thread I gave a story about a guy who did push further and even hit me) I know how to defend myself also. Why would I want a public display of chest beating from my husband?
And I assure you, I have no insecurities in knowing my place with my husband, why should I be angry with a woman who tries? I know exactly what my husband will do and think about someone and a situation like that.
I do not feel the need to have a public display of being a fishwife to satisfy everyone else. The only way I can justify attacking someone for trying is if (1) I have no security in my place in my husbands life (2) I crave attention so much that rolling inthe mud excites me (3) I want everyone to know that I am better than the other person.
Minah it isn't about ur man going and beating up anothr guy to protect your virtue. Just the fact that he has a reaction a wee bit more intense than just "Shiit happens" many women have a problem with, it seems. Just as a guy shudn't beat some other guy up for looking at his girlfriend or talking to her, he shudn't take assault (which is what it was by definition) lying down. Yeah she should handle it too, but I wouldn't expect my husband to just take it lying down.
sara - the woman (not a wife, girlfriend) wasn't assaulted, she was kissed in a public area and hid it. You know how I feel about assault, especially sexual assault. This is no where close to that. She was in a public venue, backing away and saying something out loud is not hard. She hid it happening for a reason only she knows, personally, I believe because she was checking out the other guy simply because she was sneaky about it. Then later felt bad. That's just my opinion, I don't know the folks and, according to the poster, he doesn't know them well either. So, putting this guy down for the way he acted is a bit unfair, don't you think?
Assault is totally different.
S*** happens applys to this episode, the fact that the guy treated it more fairly than I would have, he deserves a bit of respect.
) I would beat the crap outta her…
