First, it would depend. For example, if we had only been married a short while, then I tell him to leave - get out out - "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya ;) "
If we had been married for a long time - five, ten years - and it is the first time, I would want to talk it out. Seek my Mum's advice, try to work through it. If it continued, I would then let my Father know so he could make it safe for me to leave.
Well, I'm unmarried, but I'm projecting how I believe I would act. I'd probably react in the same way I do these days when kids try and hit me. If it's just the one hit, I'll drop the issue. If she repaetedly tries to hit me in the same incident, I'd laugh and hold or otherwise restrain whichever limb she tries to attack me with, until I can talk her into calming down.
If it's an isolated incident, I don't think that I would let it affect my feelings for her at all, as I have pretty thick emotional skin.
If she repeatedly attacks me, and she refuses to accept help for it, however, I'd divorce her. Because in a divorce, she'd get to keep the mahr (in the pre-nup), I'd also press charges of assault against her so that she'd have to spend the mahr on legal defence and wouldn't get the satisfaction of keeping it.
In addition, should there be children involved, I would seek legal action to get full custody of the children and deny her access rights due to them due to her being a violent person.
I wont hit back. Chup kar ke mar kha loon ga 
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*Originally posted by **mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
I'd also press charges of assault against her so that she'd have to spend the mahr on legal defence and wouldn't get the satisfaction of keeping it. **
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assault/battery charges against a woman?? I really hope you're kidding. :) You don't have a case against her if she doesn't use harmful weapons to hit you unless you got seriously injured plus she can counterclaim and bring a lawsuit against you for a malicious prosecution "if she's smart". ;)
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
Well, I'm unmarried, but I'm projecting how I believe I would act. **I'd probably react in the same way I do these days when kids try and hit me. If it's just the one hit, I'll drop the issue. If she repaetedly tries to hit me in the same incident, I'd laugh and hold or otherwise restrain whichever limb she tries to attack me with, until I can talk her into calming down*.
If it's an isolated incident, I don't think that I would let it affect my feelings for her at all, as I have pretty thick emotional skin.
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You are too tolerant..
** reciprocate... NO
good offices... NO
reconciliation...NO (I'd be so hurt.. mentally)
break all ties...Yes
however, jab banday par guzarti hai, to jab he pata chalta hai. Who knows what the circumstances would be... **
Is it really that easy to break all ties? Marriage is a lifetime commitment and doesn't always bring happiness. It's foolish to expect all and everything in a relationship, so in this particular scenario the abused partner should try to find out the reason behind it. If it happened once because of heated arguments or something similar and abuse is not in the 'nature' of the other partner, they should stay together.
Thats the thing. How many people would actually go through with breaking all ties after the first time? I would imagine that majority of men and women would not.
First hit - you move back home till things are sorted out
Second hit - You call 911 till things are sorted out and counselling occurs
Third Hit - You go to the court and figure out how to get the person of your life.
Its not that hard afterall as long as you think about these things carefully.
hmmm if he hits me i would just leave him ...i can't even think about bieng with such a person , am i being stupid ?
The first reaction would be of shock of course. And before the 'second' time happens, I would make sure he gets some counselling. Obviously such behaviour stems from some past incident or simply copying behaviour of ones' own parent.
some guys are really easily provoked, and i know how difficult it is to restrain ureself when someones given u a good tongue lashing
but if someone hits me (as in really hits me to hurt me) ide sock them back
then with a chimta
then with a bailan
then with a tawa
then with a brick
then with a.... ok so the list goes on :)
Guys are not easily provoked. Thats a myth based upon stereotypes. If they were that easily motivated they would do a lot more of their hitting at work then at home. Guys only do that at home because they feel they can get away with it.
makes mental note to himself not to marry a girl stronger than urself.
I personally would never do that. If she hits me while in anger, I would probably end the argument then and there and become silent, until a hearty apology is made. I would let her know that I really didnt like what she did just by my behaviour, not talking, staying quiet, giving her a cold shoulder, remaining serious all the time, until she realizes that what she did was wrong and KAKA sartaj didnot like it at all. She would have to make the first move though, cos i happen to be very stubborn when it comes to things where i know the other party was at wrong and not me. If u stuff up, I expect an apology. If you're too stubborn for that,, well too bad, cos i,m more stubborn,,, and YOU were at fault, not me.
A woman hitting me?. Depending on where she hits, it can be a major turn-on. Youknowwhatmasayin'?
Kaka you sound quite a sweetheart.
my god r u serious?
For the girls who'd say they'd hit back if a guy hits them... what benefit do they think they'd get from that, do they seriously think that they could win a fight against a guy who's stronger than them? Wouldn't fighting back against a man who's angry enough to have gone over the edge just make things worse for you, when he he counter-attacks you? Or do you expect him to be cowed after your first attempt to hit him?
The assumption that I'm making is that I could come out on top if my wife got violent by using greater strength to hold both her arms or hands (stopping her from punching/slapping/pinching me), whilst turning my body to the side to stop her from kicking my important bits. I'm assuming that I'd be able to hold her off in this way long enough to talk her into calming down.
I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that in most cases, the husband would be capable of overpowering the wife and neutralising her attacks with his own strength - for the wife to try to fight back in such a case would make things far worse for her.
I'd probably just keep quiet over it, forget all about it and pretend like noting happened...if it happens again...he'll have a broken tooth.
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*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that in most cases, the husband would be capable of overpowering the wife and neutralising her attacks with his own strength.
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Thats the thing. Even the skinniest of guys can easily overpower a girl. I remember once I was tickling my skinny chota bhai and I didnt think he had much strength at that time, but he took a hold of my arms and I couldnt move them while he was holding them. I was shocked that my skinny bhaya can hold me off like that.
I think it is not a wise move to hit someone back if they have hit you. I think few people would stop and realize they did something they shouldnt have, but I think with most it would escalate the violence.
What happens when a child hits another child? They end up hitting eachother, and unfortunately adults often do the same.
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
I think it is not a wise move to hit someone back if they have hit you. I think few people would stop and realize they did something they shouldnt have, but I think with most it would escalate the violence.
What happens when a child hits another child? They end up hitting eachother, and unfortunately adults often do the same.
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When you're dealing with an physically aggresive enraged man, he's generally looking to force those around him to submit to his authority. Being defiant (ie fighting back) is like challenging him to enforce his authority on you (ie hit you till you no longer challenge him)
I think that the best thing to do, in the short run, if being physically beaten by one's husband, would be to feign submission. Then, afterwards, report him to the police for assault, and sue him to get as much of his money as possible, and also get a court to dissolve the marriage.