every parent is insecure about their tarbiat.
uncle, itni education dalwa dee thee to us education ka istemal kerna bhi sekha daitay. ya sirf itna he khe dain k "baita, use your education and knowledge wisely"...and it will be enough for us girls. this choi-moi attitude is ruining us!
kindly pray for us, and stop transferring these insecurities in your daughters.
you are also a married man, so ask yourself does khana pakana really every mattered to you? did ALLAH SWT made Eve to make only food for Adam?
every MAN (yes, i am talking about The Man) dont need a slave, they need someone to share their time with, share their values, and share their approach in life. and same goes for the woman.
ps. kindly, do yourself a favour and ask your daughter what she thinks about marriage? and then contribute your rational experiences (up and downs in life) with her cuz we girls preciously take our fathers opinion.
ps.2 ur dauther is my age, and apprently i recently discovered my passion for cooking. its a lively experience. i started off by taking photographs. and now this food photography has turned in to a serious business. so give her the recipe of your favorite food to her and ask her to make it for you. :)
You have made some interesting points.
Yes we are insecure! but rest assure this insecurity only limit to discuss with close friends and on this forum where everyone could speak openly unanimously. I would never share these with her, as I want her to marry and leave home happily rather then apprehensive about unknown future.
Due to same insecurity we pushed them to the limit to focus on education and build the career just in case of any unfortunate event they would not be dependent on anyone.
Talking about The Man the real man of today, I agree with you what you are saying, but just remember i was the man (not sure the real one or not). In the good or bad old days there was a clear distribution of work, man go out and earn the living and women take care household (I am sure your mom or grand mom either of them went through same).
Today world is changed so the aspiration of peoples, now young peoples are not looking for wife as glorified Noukrani but a companion, some to share with, compatibility is huge issue today (which was never before).
But this would work if one find a match themselves, so all the parents do is necessary arrangement. If the guy or girl does not have anyone in mind and leave Rishta things on parents then I sure they would be looking from same standard again.
Lastly i am very close to her, we do discuss the matters are in very good understanding.
I pray for all of you to have a good life.
Allah Hafiz