What is going on? It seems as if every other post, some girl got “forced” to get engaged/married and is NOW looking for a way out. If its not that someone has an issue to talk to someone online. Jeez. If you are able to talk to a whole mess of strangers online @GupShup, why such a difficulty to talk to 1 person your already know.
Why do these girls not have any guts to speak out BEFORE these things happen, and not wait until the end. How can you go through a marriage when you feel nothing about the other person???
Re: What with these posts
afro ji, which posts are you talking about?
Re: What with these posts
AS, it seems you are very lucky like me, not to have to face an undesirable arranged marriage. There is nothing more influential than parental pressure and many desi gals are raised never to defy. Thats one tough nut to crack once things are in place and parents are in agreement that the marriage should take place. I'm quite sure that many gals think that maybe the parents are right, they go along with it with a little hope that maybe it will work but then find themselves faced with a lifetime of misery.
Those gals have my sincerest sympathies - most esp since there is no easy way out of the situation - either before the marriage takes place or after.
Re: What with these posts
well see it's not just arranged marriages that end up being undesirable.
I've actually seen more "love" marriages going down the tubes where the spouse stops caring, respecting and eventually stops loving.
I used to think it's just arranged marriages but actually with the examples i've seen the couples that got "set up" by family or friends are so successful because the family members take the time to see if the two are compatible, how the respective families are and just make sure the backgrounds are good and whether they like each other before they have the couple plunge into a marriage. Of course there are the rare cases where none of this is taken into consideration.
It just depends on the personalities and actions of the two individuals rather than how they came together.
Re: What with these posts
Mamaof 3, true thay have difficult situations where it is difficult to speak up. But if your gonna remain quiet and let the marriage/engagement happen..and THEN suddenly decide to grow the balls to "think" of standing up...where were these guts in the beginning. Unfortunately they are ruining their own life & those of others by not taking a stand earlier and save the headache. I mean either just try to be happy with the situation...give it a chance...or stand up before your knee deep in the mess.
Re: What with these posts
so i m not alone wondering!
i guess
u noticed the same thing:blush:
Re: What with these posts
And I guess the same goes for guys in general (not just those on GS). I have seen (back in college)...that these guys will date their significant other for years at a time, and even lead them to believe they will get married, but at the end they dump the girl for someone mama dear has chosen back home. Fine to each his own, if you want your mom choosing for you, great...but you should know how your parents are...and how strict they are.... and if he knows he cant defy his parents, do not string the poor girl along.
Re: What with these posts
And I guess the same goes for guys in general (not just those on GS). I have seen (back in college)...that these guys will date their significant other for years at a time, and even lead them to believe they will get married, but at the end they dump the girl for someone mama dear has chosen back home. Fine to each his own, if you want your mom choosing for you, great...but you should know how your parents are...and how strict they are.... and if he knows he cant defy his parents, do not string the poor girl along.
agreed:biggthumb
people know all what u r saying
still they do crazy things
that keera inside, chain se nahy bethney deta:D
Re: What with these posts
What is going on? It seems as if every other post, some girl got "forced" to get engaged/married and is NOW looking for a way out. If its not that someone has an issue to talk to someone online. Jeez. If you are able to talk to a whole mess of strangers online @GupShup, why such a difficulty to talk to 1 person your already know. Why do these girls not have any guts to speak out BEFORE these things happen, and not wait until the end. How can you go through a marriage when you feel nothing about the other person???
Cz the 1st type of posts are fake crap!
Second posts...errm... i won't say :@:
Re: What with these posts
what r u talkin abt
Re: What with these posts
What is going on? It seems as if every other post, some girl got "forced" to get engaged/married and is NOW looking for a way out. If its not that someone has an issue to talk to someone online. Jeez. If you are able to talk to a whole mess of strangers online @GupShup, why such a difficulty to talk to 1 person your already know. Why do these girls not have any guts to speak out BEFORE these things happen, and not wait until the end. How can you go through a marriage when you feel nothing about the other person???
I'm convinced it's just someone who is keeping a story going as long as there are people who will believe it. I've seen it happen before on other forums.
Re: What with these posts
Maybe its harder thank you think. Maybe you shouldnt judge. BOOYAH!
Re: What with these posts
Booyah? I don't mean to judge, but the question does come to mind..to anyone...that why not say no up front, rather than waiting for the problem to increase. Just pondering...that's all.
Re: What with these posts
i think ur taking this stuff too seriously
isnt it obvious these ppl are just practicing their screenwriting skills, with the strike these days u never know
Re: What with these posts
i think ur taking this stuff too seriously
isnt it obvious these ppl are just practicing their screenwriting skills, with the strike these days u never know
kya hora ha hai boss
you aint neva gonna get ur big break and no one's gonna hire you so just istop.
Re: What with these posts
does it matter if ppl are real or stating BS, my view is that I would rather go with the assumption taht its a genuine case, although if its just a vicious circle of teh same discussion then eventually I back off
Re: What with these posts
kya hora ha hai boss
you aint neva gonna get ur big break and no one's gonna hire you so just istop.
so much hate
first thing im gonna do is kill off ur fav characters, yea thas right, i know who they are
Re: What with these posts
i totoally agree with u AS- i think now adays marriages are realli going down the drain- and also abt the guy who mess around and then their dear mommy's find them a girl- i hate men like that- that just leads the girl on and it shatters all her dreams and hopes- lardkon SUDHER JAO!! lol
Re: What with these posts
i totoally agree with u AS- i think now adays marriages are realli going down the drain- and also abt the guy who mess around and then their dear mommy's find them a girl- i hate men like that- that just leads the girl on and it shatters all her dreams and hopes- lardkon SUDHER JAO!! lol
It takes two hands to clap ... lardkiyoo ... get some brains :)
Re: What with these posts
Afro sheen,
no, this is not about young women or girls, only.
it is individual cases. some people are in predicaments because they have to first learn what they really want. it is true of men too. and it is not all about the culture where arranged relations are built. some people are very rigid and they are very dry. they are very thick skins and have very dark motives in many ways, in almost all ways. yes, you are right that women and men, must be able to make this one of the most importrant decision about their lives, ideally fully congnizant fo what they are letting to happen to themselves.
when people change statements and they try their all, to being about a semi-desired result that can go either way, sadly, they are already setting up their loved ones and themselves, for failure and regret.
it is true of anyone who makes such decisions in a hurry, without proper and honest communication.
why young women and girls are unable to articulate their 'No' regarding this, is the unwelcome with which their family wants them to get out of the house. some young women and girls, themselves might see this to be their only way out to a married life where their going to be spouse will understand them, but that may or may not happen. and thus, it is such a sad social affair. as a society, as people, as fellow/friends women and sisters of brothers, who marry women who are forced to marry them. same with men being fellow/friends and brothers of women, who marry men who are forced to marry them.
regarding feeling nothing about the other person; when you do feel all that you can, prior to such a marriage and the person does not blieve you, it is that much more damaging for such a person when he/she moves to the next prey. people are not inanimate objects, who can be forgotten and hurt. the subtle regret and pain, guilt and anger will always accompany such people who knowingly force a relationship and then ruin own lives and lives of other people.
what should be done to stop it from happening? educate people to know that getting to know each other befoe marriage within ethical limits, is essential and that people ought not to back off, breaking trust. marriages must take place with mutual consent and liking for each other, that has been established over time, by getting to know each other.
best,
Dushwari
What is going on? It seems as if every other post, some girl got "forced" to get engaged/married and is NOW looking for a way out. If its not that someone has an issue to talk to someone online. Jeez. If you are able to talk to a whole mess of strangers online @GupShup, why such a difficulty to talk to 1 person your already know. Why do these girls not have any guts to speak out BEFORE these things happen, and not wait until the end. How can you go through a marriage when you feel nothing about the other person???