… if your unmarried daughter comes home and declares she is pregnant? Or your unmarried son declares that he has a girl friend and she is pregnant with his child?
Re: What will you do ...
I am and might be speechless for a while
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…I would like to think where did I go wrong…That is a really creepy scenario esp for us desis
I'm gonna stare at her, go speechless, feel the blood drain from my face, feel my heart pounding like crazy, feel the walls of the room spinning around me, feel as if the ground has been slipped away from beneath my feet. And while all of these nauseatingsensations are taking place......I'm gonna look at my daughter.....and WAIT for her to HOPEFULLY say something along the lines of , "Just kidding, Mom," or "Hahahah, I fooled you Mommy!" or "Psych!!!!!!" or "Man, mom you are so gullible" or "You think that would be a good line for my future comedian routine?" or "Gotch-ya" or "I'm joking Mom, u shoulda seen yourself."
And if she fails to say any of the above responses....I'm gonna freak out. And when and IF i manage to pull myself together, I'm going to ask her to explain everything to me, confirm that she is indeed 100% pregnant, ask her what her future plans are, consider the best and Islamically appropriate actions, and discuss the seriousness of the mess she's got herself in.
Right now, I'm not married or engaged. But i've always wanted a daugther, and if I ever have one, I hope I never have to hear anything like that.
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Yeah, I was wondering what will I do after the initial shock.
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Not something I wanna think about.
... if your unmarried daughter comes home and declares she is pregnant? Or your unmarried son declares that he has a girl friend and she is pregnant with his child?
I will be shocked because I keep on thinking this is what I trained them to do.And I still have no answers may be leave them on their own as they are adults go away and live your life I am not gonna suport you or I'll accept the fact and hurry them to marry each other.I never thought of that scenrio.
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well payback for putting your trust in them. lets face it...you put ur trust in someone and they come back with a news like that...what exactly can you say / do to them for breaking that trust?...i mean...thats not something you can get back...so either don't put trust in others and if you do then forget about it.
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and this is EXACTLY why ppl hate having daughters!
and another thing.. extremely disturbing..but if a guy came home with that news, most likely his parents would make him forget about the girl. They could say that any guy could've fathered the child. in this type of situation, all PC-ness is thrown out the window
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So would you guys support her (like taking care of her during pregnancy, taking her to the doctors etc. ) or cut yourself off. Would you make her marry the dude? Consider (God forbid) abortion?
For the case of a son, would you tell him to marry the girl? What if the girlfriend wants to abort it, would you allow? What if the son doesn't want to do anything with it and she wants to keep it, what would you do? Would you be involved in the up-bringing afterward?
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Oh God. I never want to think about this.
OK finally I thouhgt and I think we don’t need to do anything about these kind of daughter and sons.If they are old enough to do things like that then they should be old enough to take care of their child either its a girl or a boy whoever does this thing should be responsible for their own doing. I don’t care if you come home pregnant or if you bring home someone pregnant just get ready to take responsibility.
Hmmm, there are many options and it would be a tough decision. What if the “boyfriend” is NON-MUSLIM? That would make things worse wouldn’t it?
Muslim or not…a marriage should be a happy and memorable occasion. And to think that this special event had to be rushed because of a desperate situation is just sad. Giving the baby up for adoption is another option, but its heartbreaking for a child to know in the future that he/she was given up by his/her own parents. The child could be raised by the daughter…but there would be so many questions to answer and so much stigma to deal with. Having a baby out of wedlock, although still frowned upon by Western society, is at least becoming somewhat of an acceptable issue because it’s a common problem. Since it’s not such a common problem in desi society, that makes it more of a social stigma which affects the girl, her future chances of getting married, and the entire family’s reputation. Abortion is an issue that people have mixed views about. Some scholars prohibit abortion from the moment the baby is conceived. Other scholars allow abortion if it is done prior to 120 days, or 4 months.
Below is a link containing an abortion related question which has been answered in the light of Islam. The question regards the options available to a Muslim girl who became pregnant by her Non-muslim boyfriend and the parents from both parties are against a marriage of convenience and want to know what options are available to her. I hope this happens to none of us! But here’s the link.
IslamiCity.com - Q & A
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I think I'd have a fit, and be socked as anything. Since I think its allowed, I would request for the girl to go for abortion... I think. It is born in a haram manner to begin with.
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God forbids, I will obviously tell her off but in long term I will look after the baby, I will probably hide from others.
God forbids, If my son do something wrong I'll probably throw him out of my house.
But I will never let the baby get aborted in any case.
God forbids, I will obviously tell her off but in long term I will look after the baby, I will probably hide from others.
God forbids, If my son do something wrong I'll probably throw him out of my house.
But I will never let the baby get aborted in any case.
God forbid something like this happens, what if your daughter decides to abort? Or if son's girlfriend decides to abort, then we have no choice I guess. That is so scary. May Allah protect our chilren
God forbid something like this happens, what if your daughter decides to abort? Or if son's girlfriend decides to abort, then we have no choice I guess. That is so scary. May Allah protect our chilren
God forbid something like this happens, then it's on their head, I'll try my best to keep the baby.
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i know someone who ended up in this position with their son. they were in shock obviously, but decided in favor of supporting the couple. the girl was a gori (boy was desi) and she eventually even converted and the couple married- they and their baby are living with his parents now and all are well and happy. basically, i think they took a bad situation, thought it through and made the best of it. i also think that if she hadn't converted, they would have still kept the baby and supported him and their son- after all, the baby is their grandchild, and they were concerned about his well being and how he would be raised by a single parent. it can't have been an easy decision!
This happen to one of our relatives daughter, the marriage ceremony was organize in 10 days and now she had healthy baby after 7 mnths of marriage.I think parents cannot leave their children they always protect them. I remeber the story I use to read everyday to Huzaifah "I love you stinky face" Its all about how bad our children are but we don't leave them we always love them.Sad part is what I saw in most cases children never realize that.