As I was reading AJ’s thread in parenting" What will you do?" I was thinking what will happen to a child who is born in a desi community without a father?When he will grow up how he/she will feel? And if you see Islamically then the girl and boy who are involved in this scenrio are Zanis so when someone comes to know that his parents have that kind of relationship what their reaction is going to be.And if people left their children because of the fear of society whats gonna happen to the child who is gonna support? What his or her moral teachings be that sex without mariage is allowed?
UZ, I don't know of anyone in the community who has gone through issue but if it happens it will be very stressful for everyone of course. I think it would be best for the couple to get married.
It all comes down once again to tarbiyat...and then personal responsibility.
and maybe for a change desi people should stop attacking such kids. It is not the kids fault that his/her parents where having fun out of wed lock. So I would say let the poor kid live in peace.
I guess it does boil down to upbringing and how one's parents have taught them to behave and interact around others. Not everyone will shun that child. There will be people who treat him fairly, and normally as if nothing is wrong.
Depends on people. But pakistani and infact Asian community as a whole has this dilemma. It's a cultural thing i suppose. We don't expect families to break up. We think a broken family is a dysfunctional family and every member of it is as guilty as each of them.
**Jaiz bache se ziada os najaiz bache ki izat milni chahie janab.
Aik naik , bakirdar or shareef orat ju shadi ker ky jinsi zindagi shuru kerti hy apny shohar ky sath os ka or os ky bachon ka koi haq nahi hona chahiy.
Asal hamdardi or tawaju ki talbgar tu woh badkirdar oratain hain ju shadi kiy baghyr jinsi taluqat ghair merdon bal ky shadi shuda merdon se jismani taluqat rekhti hain or najaiz bachey jaan bijh ker paida kerti hain ky jaaiz bachon k ahaq kha sakain duniya ko apny bachy dikh adikha ker apni kahani suna ker rula rula ker.
farz kijiy kisi ky sath zabardast hoi rape howa os main bhi ijazat hy ky abortion kerwa ly woh orat. Why someone is giving birth this kind of child
**
*Jaiz bache se ziada os najaiz bache ki izat milni chahie janab.
Aik naik , bakirdar or shareef orat ju shadi ker ky jinsi zindagi shuru kerti hy apny shohar ky sath os ka or os ky bachon ka koi haq nahi hona chahiy.
Asal hamdardi or tawaju ki talbgar tu woh badkirdar oratain hain ju shadi kiy baghyr jinsi taluqat ghair merdon bal ky shadi shuda merdon se jismani taluqat rekhti hain or najaiz bachey jaan bijh ker paida kerti hain ky jaaiz bachon k ahaq kha sakain duniya ko apny bachy dikh adikha ker apni kahani suna ker rula rula ker.
farz kijiy kisi ky sath zabardast hoi rape howa os main bhi ijazat hy ky abortion kerwa ly woh orat. Why someone is giving birth this kind of child
*
kehnay mein kia hai...kehnay do...
mein shehenshah-e-iran hon...
tum malika-e-QohQaaf...
yeh baQi sab ikhlaqiyat ke alambardaar hain...jin ko bhook sehni nahe pari lakin samjhtay hain ke bhookon se ziada jantay hain bhook ko. jab sahi wali bhook sehni pari to pani ka pani aur doodh ka doodh ho jaye ga.
Bilkul ji civilized muashry ki tu pehli nishani yehi hy ky shadi na hi bas janwaron ki trha sex ki taskeen honi chahiy:D
No, i'm not saying that. I can't even say that even if i wanted to because Islam doesn't permit it. Sexual relations before marriage that end up in a child can be criticized according to the society, but the effect shouldn't shadow the child who is a result of this.
I'm saying the child should be treated fairly, and maturely. The child doesn't get to decide if he can come into this world or not, but once here, it's not his fault.
janab main os orat ka rona nahi bhool sakti jis ke shohar ne twaif se shadi ker li(I mean aylan ker diya ky han main os ky sath rehta hun or rahon ga. Log hamary Pakistan main Muslaman kehty hain dosri shadi ki ijazat hy merd ko os khandani orat ky 3 baity hain or byti ab mujhy ye bataiy jab Allah ny Qurran main insaf ka hukam diya hy tu kiya ye insaf hai ky bakirdar orat ko bas khandani hawalii ki zeenat bana ker rakh diya jaay or khud dosri ky sath rahy woh merd.
Woh banda kabhi kabhar ata hy woh ghareeb minatin kerti hai ky mujhy bhi apny sath ly ja ker rakh lo main kuch nahi kehon gi bas tumhin roz dykh tu liya keron gi or neem pagal hu chuki woh orat os ke bachon ku ju jaiz olad thy kis baat ki saza mil rahi hai? Ham jazi oladon ky huqooq per tu twaju daity nahi najaizon ka bara dukh cherhta hai:( or yaqeen kijiy I was like this Jab os ne mujh se kaha dykhu main ny tu apny shohar sy muhubat ki hai n aosy chahy mujh se na hu.
Mujhy nasihat ki agar woh tumhin chory bhi tu tum os ko mat chorna woh bewafa sahih tum tu nahi hu na:teary3: Main ny kaha main aap jaisy falsafay muhubat ki qail nahi kiya keron. Per ye aik nasoor hai hamary muashry ka 4 shadion ky Islam se agy tu Islam reh nahi giya oper se shadi nahi najaiz taaluqat ker ky kehty hain on ka zikar na kero gunahgar hu jaao gy zani ko zani na kahu:(
I guess it does boil down to upbringing and how one's parents have taught them to behave and interact around others. Not everyone will shun that child. There will be people who treat him fairly, and normally as if nothing is wrong.
Depends on people. But pakistani and infact Asian community as a whole has this dilemma. It's a cultural thing i suppose. We don't expect families to break up. We think a broken family is a dysfunctional family and every member of it is as guilty as each of them.
I hope that made sense.
The child should be treated with equally as his counterparts. The problem happens not so much because we think a every member is as dysfunctional but because when it comes to marriage, people think ("his father thought it was alright to screw women out of marriage, what if the child thinks it's normal too- I don't want my son/daughter to marry a person that will cheat on my kid and break his/her heart") Even though the iilegimitate child could be the perfect Muslim- Many desi don't like taking risk, especially in matters of marriage.
^ but why at that point they should have to tell them that? Mom could simply say that the father died when the boy was young/before he was born, (if the child had no father growing up) and that's that.
IMO, when we have otherwise educated and paray likhay people calling those kids "*******s" b/c the claim that's the "technical" term for it...i seriously doubt ppl in our society will treat kids any better.
It depends on the individual and his/her surroundings. This woman Asra Nomani and her son are living guilt free , as I see it. She even performed Hajj. She is grand daughter of Allama Shibli Nomani ,Who was great Islamic scholar and who wrote a widely read book on life of our Holy Prophet(SAW).
Her website is here Asra Nomani .
Here is her article on this subject.
Washington Post: For Mother’s Sake: She Shouldn’t be Stoned. None of us Should**
**Washington Post, **Outlook Section
June 1, 2003
For Mothers’ Sake She Shouldn’t Be Stoned to Death. None of Us Should
By Asra Q. Nomani
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. – Every morning, like mothers everywhere, I playfully nuzzle my infant son, Shibli, drawing a smile from him. He is my joy, but to some, he is more than that. Shibli is proof that I, an unmarried Muslim woman, am guilty of zina, or “illegal sex,” just as Wasila, a toddler in Nigeria, is evidence against her mother, Amina Lawal, a divorced woman charged with adultery.
^^^^Arry hamary Imams(like Hubal, shafi etc main se aik ya do) tu tny tarqi yafta or roshan khiyal thy ke aisi orton ky liy sadion pehly fatwa dy chuky ky JIN agar orat ky sath taluqaat ker ly tu bacha pyda hu sakta hy woh jaaiz mana jay ga ya shohar agar door giya huwa hai or bivi kahy khwab main sab howa or bacha bhi pyda hony wala hu giya tu os orat ka yaqeen kero mard bychara khwab main bhi ju lutf na utha saka os bachy ka kharcha uthay fiqah ki ro sy:rotfl: Bas Masla tu ghyrelo orton ka hy na onhn bhi aysa banana maqsad hy phir sary masail hal:cb: I mean single unmarried mother ky liy to baro protections hain asal masla tu married mothers ko hy os ko koi disscuss nahi kerna chahta:hmmm:
***Yehi main ny socha tha magar masla yeh haiky ye log zinna/adultery /rape ki definition change kerna chahty hain Pakistan main bhi. yahan tu hu chuki. *
Ky agar larka larki y amard orat razi tu kia ker ga qazi yani shadi ke baghyr sab ker lo. Magar!**agar larki even bivi ny beech(inbetween) main bhi keh diya NO! he is not allowed to proceed any more woh yahan ky qaidy qanoon ky mutabiq zina/rape hai.
Ab ham civilzed Pakistani chahty hain ky yehi usool Pakistan or other Muslims countires main bhi hu or haqeeqatan ye sab hu raha hy ye sab bas ham ny legal nahi kiya is ko ab tak:D
** US or UK main in regards of shadi ky baghyr taluqat, hamri tarha mard ko khuli chuti nahi ky woh najaiz bachy paida ker ker phynkta phiiry or man ya AbdulSattar Edhi sanbhalain:hehe:
**
**Bas thora sa masla ye hu ga ky legal tareeqy sy shadi ky bandhan main bandhny wali orat or os ky bachon ky huqooq or ziada ghasab ho jain gy jin ki n apehly kisi ne prwa ki hy na ab hu gi:chai:
Very Good ji sari hamdradian or huqooq tu “Unmarried mothers” ky liy hi hain:D **Married Mothers **tu kissi “hamdardi ya haq” ki mustahiq nahi:salute:Sympathies empathies and rights just for Unmarried Mothers and thier children" Married mothers and their kids should go to the hell
I think many of these Islamic rulings are meant not so much to implement them, but more to so that general public realizes the seriousness of zina, or stealing, or murder. But then I'm not an Islamic scholar, and Umar (R), after all, DID implement these rules in his time, even so far as whipping his own child to death for alcohol use!
After all ,Islam does talk about stoning adulteres, and cutting out the hands of thieves and the heads of murders- and that's something we, as Muslims, cannot deny. These punishments seem awfully harsh, and yet it is written as part of Islam as wearing a hijab is- it is one of the more perplexing aspects of Islam. Nonetheless, one things is clear- THE CHILD SHOULD BE TREATED JUST AS FAIRLY AS ANY OTHE CHILD!
Jab os ne mujh se kaha dykhu main ny tu apny shohar sy muhubat ki hai n aosy chahy mujh se na hu.
Very Good ji sari hamdradian or huqooq tu “Unmarried mothers” ky liy hi hain:D **Married Mothers **tu kissi “hamdardi ya haq” ki mustahiq nahi:salute:Sympathies empathies and rights just for Unmarried Mothers and thier children" Married mothers and their kids should go to the hell 