do usually aunts or rishtey dekhney anney wale ask the girl or a guy.and if a guy comes along to, what kind of questions should one expect to answer. or should ask? I always wonder what a guy a girl say to each other, khana pakana atta hain? yah tumh kamattei kitna hoon?
any suggestion/comments?
always ask if she has any training in martial arts.
hmm i dunno.. i was only in that situation once and they just asked me how i liked pakistan and hmmm they didnt ask me anything at all infact! they asked my bro everything... we thought they were there for his rishta..
and they said i sounded really australian.. hmm yeap but they said haan
^ wow sadzz so you 're engaged?
ravage beta: shadi kurney hain koyee WWE ki wrestling nahi
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I always wonder what a guy a girl say to each other, khana pakana atta hain?yah tumh kamattei kitna hoon?
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lolz. They always ask about the khana, i guess, eh? Good thing i'm not getting married then. My "khana pakana" would consist of chai and toast, with cereal thrown in for "special" days!!
i think, from a gal's pov, she should ask the guy a bunch of questions... what are his interests... books he likes to read... is he uptodate on what's happening around the world... what kind of a person is he, places he's been to, countries he's visited, what type of friends does he have, umm quiz him on his views about spirituality and religion, is it a superficial attachment for him or something deeper, does he get along with your parents, does he show respect for your parents, will he get along with your older/younger siblings, does he like kids/animals.
Actually i'm making all of this up :D i really have no idea but the above are what i THINK would make rational queries in such a situation. No ?
just memorize the 10 points in ur other thread....and recite them in a harmonious tone...and make sure u dont raise ur eye brows while doing it... ooh and ask if they want sugar in thier chai or not...mostly these aunties are fat and have diabetes..
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*Originally posted by mahnoor@lahore: *
^ wow sadzz so you 're engaged?
ravage beta: shadi kurney hain koyee WWE ki wrestling nahi
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na im not.... yeah i never saw the guy
Nadia u had some really good points there 
i would love to sit down and ask a guy all those things. In the situation i was thrown into, i had to sit there for 5 minutes while the risthe walle stared at me
the best way to do it i guess is maybe organise a meeting with the guy, u can do it at home or some local place and discuss all the things that matter to u :k:
1`. Scan girls body with laser fitted eyes
Scan the house analyse its worth and value
What girls father/brother do ?
How girl talk and walk
Eat everything drink tea and leave for next house
:) not at all "realistic" though.
when my apa was getting married, I went overboard and insisted (on email since i was away) that they wait till i get home. then I would arrange a sequence of 6 meetings, with the larka alone, perhaps with more of our relatives so we could figure him out.
didnt happen, unhon nay rishta kar dia without my apa even seeing him in person.
alhamdullilah though, my behnoi is a very nice guy and they make for a very happy couple.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Code_Red: *
1`. Scan girls body with laser fitted eyes
Scan the house analyse its worth and value
What girls father/brother do ?
How girl talk and walk
Eat everything drink tea and leave for next house
[/QUOTE]
i know. thats exactly what happens.
my ammi has very strong feelings about this tho. "hum ek jagah jayein gay, larki dekhein gay, aur haan kar dein gay. humari bhi larkiyan thin humein pata hay kaise lagta hay".
makes me worry for meself tho :-s.
^ thats really cute ravage :) my bro went to check out the guy for me... i was back in Aus by that time, and i remember being soo anxious and my bro is like... "nothing to be excited bout" so that was that hehe
Thanks, Sadzzz 
Bummer about staring. It reminds me… one of my Mamoos kai liyay they had gone to the rishta place to ‘check out’ the larki. (Turned out she was the one everyone loved the most, and Masha’Allah they are now happily married with three adorable beautiful children Masha’Allah). Khair, my poor Mumani (whom i love like anything, i am crazy about her, my Mamoo couldn’t have found a better partner), they were all staring at her and bechaari was so worried - later she told me she couldn’t even lift her head to see my Mamoo’s face as she was feeling extremely nervous. All she was brave enough to catch was a glimpse of his shoes… LOOOOL.
You know, i think i should write a book about the art of rishtays in Pakistani culture… there’s so much planning that goes into it, so many underlying and subtle, but unwritten, customs that must be adhered to, right down to who sits where next to whom, and how much to talk - how much is appropriate, and how much is not… etc.
Acha so is it customary amongst your folks to have the larki come when the larka is present?
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Originally posted by lussi: *
just memorize the 10 points in **ur other thread*....and recite them in a harmonious tone...and make sure u dont raise ur eye brows while doing it... ooh and ask if they want sugar in thier chai or not...mostly these aunties are fat and have diabetes..
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which one??
wow nadia.. u really should.. when the family came to see me, the guy never came and i was soooo scared of the mother (she was really nice though) and my cousin had wrecked all my hair before i went out.. then he put my dupatta on my head and sent me out... soo scary
thank you nadia and sadzz really good points....
I have often heard girls, who actually liked the guy, but didn't like his mother or sister? what do you recommend in that situation?
i guess try to break that barrier. Talk to them on common topics that they may be interested in. Dont hold grudges.. try to appreciate them and understand them..
try not to let the negativity get in the way. I really respect people who deal with incompatiability, rather than creating a fuss
Usually it’s better to ask all those questions which are important rather than small talk.
theres a website which talks about all these questions in details, have a look at it.
i’ll get it in a while..
Ask if he plans to live with his family or move out if he hasnt already done so!
edited: here’s the site marriage
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*Originally posted by ravage: *
my ammi has very strong feelings about this tho. "hum ek jagah jayein gay, larki dekhein gay, aur haan kar dein gay. humari bhi larkiyan thin humein pata hay kaise lagta hay".
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Although I think this is a bit extreme, I think it is better if the family goes visit the girl (or guy) first and find out the main things. Its better than having the guy (or girl) turn up, see the person once and just reject em.