What do you say to girls that ask you why you didn’t accept their now husband for marriage?
Meaning the husband asked you before he was married, and you declined for whatever reasons, and the wife finds out and then proceeds to ask you why you didn’t say yes to the guy.
I’d like to also know why girls even ask this? It puts me in an extremely awkward position. How can I say something without offending one or the other? What do you say when this happens to you?
Is it appropriate to tell your spouse that you once proposed to a particular friend? Thanks. confused
They didnt know the wife at that time. Ab kya? sigh
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make up some excuse but just dont put her hubby down i would say :D :)
p.s. never been in this situation but one of my friends has. she refused the proposal coz the dude was not islamically coservative enough for her. when asked by the girl she made an excuse saying she was considering some other proposal at that time.
Matty, what would you suggest? Is it appropriate to tell your wife for example that you once proposed to a friend? (just an example)
50-B, the problem I can foresee in saying that is what if the wife thinks I might have feelings for him even now, since my only reason was that I wasnt ready then. I dont want her thinking that.
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
50-B, the problem I can foresee in saying that is what if the wife thinks I might have feelings for him even now, since my only reason was that I wasnt ready then. I dont want her thinking that.
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Your right. Every answer you give there is the potential of a follow up question. I was initially going to recommend that you say that you two were just different, but she may follow up "how so?" and that may go somewhere where you do not want it to...I think no matter what answer you give, there will be a follow up question..Its something you may just have to deal with..
That's an extremely difficult situation to be in. Munni, just be assertive and confident. Like everyone else said, just tell her that you two were different and you weren't ready for marriage at that time. She shouldn't pester you after that.
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
Matty, what would you suggest? Is it appropriate to tell your wife for example that you once proposed to a friend? (just an example)
50-B, the problem I can foresee in saying that is what if the wife thinks I might have feelings for him even now, since my only reason was that I wasnt ready then. I dont want her thinking that.
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Absolutely!!! You should tell your wife that you once proposed to a certain someone. I would think such honesty and trust in a relationship are paramount. You are with each other, what kind of insecurity can cause you to lie???
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*Originally posted by ~Sehar~: *
That's an extremely difficult situation to be in. Munni, just be assertive and confident. Like everyone else said, just tell her that you two were different and you weren't ready for marriage at that time. She shouldn't pester you after that.
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That is what I did, I told her that I felt I didnt have much in common with him as I thought this is the best answer, and she went on and proceeded to ask what those differences were. Just as 50-B mentioned. So after I tried explaining some of them with the utmost of difficulty (I couldnt escape because we were in their hotel room), and trying to be completely cordial throughout the process, I find that she doesnt really wanna talk to me anymore. Her husband calls to see how I am sometimes, but she doesnt speak or hands over the phone to her hubby. So I dont know what I said wrong or if I said too much or what. The other girl I was able to avoid because her husband walked in the room at the right time. Now her husband wants to come to my city and meet me while they are on vacation and I just dont know what to say, since his wife is being so awkward with me now. sigh Sometimes I think why did he have to tell her, but I guess its not fair to her.
Munni, it sounds like these girls feel slightly threatened by you and are indeed insecure. I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You gave them honest, straight-forward answers. The fact that these guys still want to remain friends with you even though you turned them down romantically .... well to me that just speaks highly of your character. I would think that most guys would feel all rejected and would want nothing to do with you, which is probably how these girls think too. They can't comprehend the idea that it is possible for 2 people to be friends without there being anything romantic going on. They probably can't understand why their husbands want to still remain friends with you.
You stood your ground. Now as uncomfortable/rude as they behave, just be yourself. I'm sure their husbands will see their behaviour and perhaps reassure them that they have nothing to feel threatened by.
I weren't interested in marriage at that time seems pretty fine to me. And what kinda freak goes around asking questions like that in the first place?
Chances are she's discovered the guys a prick and wants to have a btching session with you. I'm kidding..i don't know. Aaj kal di ladkiyan come out with some funny shyte.
Ok lets back up a little beep beep beep (George Costanza style)
What did u tell the poor girl about her hubby?
Did u say oh I am all that… Marilyn Monroe…didn’t wanna hook up with ur loser guy…something of that sort?
well, i,d say, even if the guy was a jerk, just be polite n make something up like people have mentioned, i wasnt ready for marriage so i said no. since i wasnt looking forward to getting married, i didnt really consider him or thought about him much.
personally i dont think u shudv gotten into such discussions with the wives. Women are weird creatures. wasnt ready for it is a fine answer. no need to go into details.
