"It wasn't meant to be."
"I wasn't ready for marriage, and not thinking of anyone in those terms."
"You didn't 'click.'"
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sahar02: *
"It wasn't meant to be."
"I wasn't ready for marriage, and not thinking of anyone in those terms."
"You didn't 'click.'"
[/QUOTE]
^ if those dont work- and she keeps bothering you say:
I caught him with another woman.
Really why must she ask you such questions.Its ridiculous.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Muslim_Queen: *
^ if those dont work- and she keeps bothering you say:
I caught him with another woman.
Really why must she ask you such questions.Its ridiculous.
[/QUOTE]
One doesnt know how difficult of a situation it is until one is actually in it. Three word answers did not cut it with his wife. She simply wanted to know more and more. And me being the person who feels she must answer questions or its terribly impolite, I responded in the best manner possible.
I cannot understand why she asked or why anyone asks. I was hoping for some ideas from this thread. It's not something I would ever do myself.
One vague possibility that she is not talking to me much might be because she feels that I didnt think her husband was such a great catch, since I said no to him. But either way I dont think she should feel bad about it. I dont understand girls sometimes. sigh
Oh I know what you mean Munni.Its happened with me.The guy was 28 ,well to do with a great career.I turned him down -and believe me there were so many reasons.
Later his wife asked me why.I told her I had my reasons and that they didnt have anything to do with her.
Just be honest and tell her you would rather not say.Unless you want to tell her all the reasons- then go ahead and do so.Tell her you were too young, didnt like him, whatever you want to say.She shouldnt make you feel guilty or any such silly thing.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Muslim_Queen: *
Oh I know what you mean Munni.Its happened with me.The guy was 28 ,well to do with a great career.I turned him down -and believe me there were so many reasons.
Later his wife asked me why.I told her I had my reasons and that they didnt have anything to do with her.
Just be honest and tell her you would rather not say.Unless you want to tell her all the reasons- then go ahead and do so.Tell her you were too young, didnt like him, whatever you want to say.She shouldnt make you feel guilty or any such silly thing.
[/QUOTE]
I know, I have this big problem of always trying to be nice to people, even at my own expense. I just dont like to hurt peoples feelings if I can help it and I felt if I said, "I'd rather not say", that she might think I am keeping secrets from her or something or that I had something to hide. sigh It's like a double-edged sword in these type of scenarios. Nothing you can say will sound right, or so it seems.
Re: What to say when girls ask why you didnt...
*What do you say to girls that ask you why you didn’t accept their now husband for marriage? *
I've just said that
a. i saw him as a brother and his parents wanted it..
b. we weren't suited and swtich the topic to them...
I don't know why girls bring this up but it is a bit wierd.....and awkward..
** Is it appropriate to tell your spouse that you once proposed to a particular friend? Thanks. confused **
Yes, sure...my spouse and i have talked about people we were involved with/had rishta dates with or met..etc... The important thing here to discuss is why you liked them, what happened and why things didn't work out and WHAT you feel about the situation now.
Re: Re: What to say when girls ask why you didnt...
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by amelie: *
**What do you say to girls that ask you why you didn’t accept their now husband for marriage? *
I've just said that
a. i saw him as a brother and his parents wanted it..
The important thing here to discuss is why you liked them, what happened and why things didn't work out and WHAT you feel about the situation now.
[/QUOTE]
amelie, I like the answer of, "I saw him as a brother". I didnt think of that one. Agreed, she should have spoken about this with her husband.
Mehnaz, you're too kind really. smile
Tell her it was the will of Allah :swt: , and if she still has a problem, she can ask Allah :swt: herself.
Why make the poor girls life miserable...tell her that... Well, how can I ever think of him in that sense. You know, we were good acquaintences(sp) or good friends ( whatever that was) so I never thought about our friendship in that context... I think you are the best thing to happen to him... :) Not all women are confident and there is no harm helping them feel better about themselves....
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
Absolutely!!! You should tell your wife that you once proposed to a certain someone. I would think such honesty and trust in a relationship are paramount. You are with each other, what kind of insecurity can cause you to lie???
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tsk tsk Matsui, don't you know that life altering truths are forbidden in our culture? You only tell the truth when you're relatively sure that you won't get into any trouble, otherwise it's ok to lie like a son of a bitch.