Re: What to do
I understand people will day put your foot down but it really isn't going to work, she will not listen to reason and I've been her many a time before. I suppose if I laid down ground rules at the start I probably wouldn't have been in such a situation but I can't look back only forward insha-Allah
I agree with the others that mentioned that you need to stop getting 3rd parties involved in this. Your wife made it clear to you that she does not want to get outsiders involved yet you continue to discuss personal marital matters with 3rd parties. I would be FURIOUS if my husband did this. If you want respect from your wife, step 1 is to start showing her some respect. And you do that by respecting her simple wish that you do not get outsiders involved in your marital problems. You have a brain....use it! Don't depend on "teachers" to tell you or your wife. Act like a man who is about to become a father and make your own decisions.
Your wife is due in 3 months....this is a time she should be relaxed for the sake of the fetus. Fighting with her or upsetting her can lead to a problems. As someone else mentioned, if you haven't already, start making plans for the baby with her. Pick out baby's name, go shopping for baby stuff etc. Also, have you been attending her doctor's appointments with her? Another option is for you to suggest that you two go somewhere for 1 or 2 weekends before the baby is due. Maybe a local resort or a town or something a few hours away.....a "couple's getaway" weekend for you two to spend time just with one another.
I agree that ground rules are hard to put down later on if you have not done for from day 1. You made this mistake with your wife. Do NOT make the same mistake with your child. Once that child is born, make sure you do not allow that child to spend any nights away from you. If your wife wants to take baby to her parents home during the day, that's fine. But make sure you stay firm on the child spending every-single-night in YOUR home once they are released from the hospital. This means YOU will have to help care for the baby in the evenings and at night. You may need to talk to your mother and ask her to help. Heck you may even need to hire a part-time nanny. Your wife obviously will need help in taking care of a newborn. But don't let that reason be the start of the baby spending nights away from you. Let her know that if her family wants to spend the night in your home, that's fine. If she wants to spend the night at her mother's home, that's fine. But that baby stays in your home period. I agree that you don't have a right to control your wife. But you have every right to demand that your child not spend any night away from you.
BTW, do you get paternal leave/vacation at your work? If so, how many weeks are you taking off for the baby's birth?