i met someone online 1 year back…after few months we have phone conversation…he proposed me and i accepted…he told his family and they accepted…he wasnt working that time…he is waiting for immigiration…and still not any job…i have broken family issues…and we are not rich too…so my step sister said she will hold all my marriage expenses…she said there are few poposals…i told him…he said vey angrily that i will get marry …i will not bother for him…his mom called my mom for rishta…my mom is ill…she said she will tell my sister abt them …bcoz at that time we were living at their home and she was like my guardian at that time…my mom told my sister that some rishta wali told her a proposal…she said invite tham…we invited them at my sis house…my sis is very rich…boy family was quite impress wid thier house and everything…guy mom sis and cousin has some relation wid my bro in law…so they become close and agree on this proposal…so problems comes now…he is aggressive minded…a little fight for small things…but next day that was ok between us…one day he snt me a gift and told one of my sis and my mom that i dont give him anything and he has given me this…everyday he said this …in 1 year relation …that was 1st time he didnt talk to me for 8 days..one day i said i will send u bk ur gift…he msg my sister that i dont give him anything etc…she said u should give her …y u want money from her…at this he misbehave my sis…she told me…i told his mother…she said dont worry…after that he call me and i said y u said my sis…he misbehave me on sms…i said this can happen to ur sis too…his mother ph me and said its between u and him nt my daughter fault…i was quiet…i told my elder sis…she was planning to go there…she said if u want i will go otherwise not…one day his mother ph my sis and said y u not comming she said i have said dont go …now the guy and his mom call my sis and told something that i have said against my sis…my sis insulted me…and they said if we will refuse from proposal they will tell my sis…they said bad abt my sis in laws..and black mail me they will tell abt internet story to my sis…now how to handle this situation???
I don't have the stamina to read all of your text but what I get from first line is you met him online.
Kis ne kaha tha ke online rishta dhoondo?
Re: what to do???
soooo … why do you want to marry this guy? 
come on now! … this is hardly a dilemma …
Re: what to do???
i dont want but now they say they will tell my sis abt online thing...thats making me scare
Re: what to do???
Your sister should have more trust in u than in a family of black mailers.
Or if you are so scared, tell all about it to your sis before they do. It will be much better for you.
Re: what to do???
Tell ur sis urself....n apologize to her for lying...tell her how he is treating u now.....the things which are disturbing you ...and then...break off the engagement!!!!
Re: what to do???
she is my step sister...and she doesnt have any affection towards me she was doing this as a sister to me...now she is helping my mom for her treatment...i m scared too she will not help her..how i will manage my mom disease and treatments...i m feeling very lonely
she is my step sister...and she doesnt have any affection towards me she was doing this as a sister to me...now she is helping my mom for her treatment...i m scared too she will not help her..how i will manage my mom disease and treatments...i m feeling very lonely
Porcelain Doll,
Mujhay tumhara post samajh main nahin aa raha. Theek hai woh tumhari step-sister hai. Woh ziyada affection se paish nahin aati....yeh us ki personality hai. Aik family main har fard ka nature/mizaaj different hota hai. For example: Your father may be more affectionate than your mother. One sister may be more affectionate than another.
She's your step-sister.......lekin us k dil main tumharay liye KUCH feelings to hongi....tabhi to tumhari ammi ka ilaaj karva rahi hai. You should either tell her....or your mother.......or someone from your family that you trust.
Can you talk to you mother about this? If she's not too ill...and if you think she can handle this....tell her about. She's your mom, not your enemy. Even if she gets upset at you, she will never want YOU (her daughter) to have a miserable marriage. If not your mom....talk to your sister...your dad. Someone. Your family will get you out. If you continue being afraid.....you're going to ruin your life. Behtar hai k tum khud apni family ko sab kuch batado.....is se pehlay k woh kisi aur se sunain.
If you hide this from your mother and sister and marry this guy....aur phir baad main jab pachtaao gi.........zara socho k tumhari ammi aur behan ko kitni takleef hogi k tum ne un se yeh baat chupai hai. Bahut dukh hoga unahin. Stop being scared...........TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE........and save yourself. Don't let this stupid guy and his family control your life. Woh tumhay stupid se dhamkiyan de rahain hai..aur tum dar rahi ho??? C'mon yaar.....yeh bhi koi dhamki hai...k hum tumhari behan ko online affair k baaray main batadain gay. Khud main confidence paida karo....your family is not your dushman even if they get mad at you for a while. Tell you family.
Porcelain Doll,
Mujhay tumhara post samajh main nahin aa raha. Theek hai woh tumhari step-sister hai. Woh ziyada affection se paish nahin aati....yeh us ki personality hai. Aik family main har fard ka nature/mizaaj different hota hai. For example: Your father may be more affectionate than your mother. One sister may be more affectionate than another.
She's your step-sister.......lekin us k dil main tumharay liye KUCH feelings to hongi....tabhi to tumhari ammi ka ilaaj karva rahi hai. You should either tell her....or your mother.......or someone from your family that you trust.
Can you talk to you mother about this? If she's not too ill...and if you think she can handle this....tell her about. She's your mom, not your enemy. Even if she gets upset at you, she will never want YOU (her daughter) to have a miserable marriage. If not your mom....talk to your sister...your dad. Someone. Your family will get you out. If you continue being afraid.....you're going to ruin your life. Behtar hai k tum khud apni family ko sab kuch batado.....is se pehlay k woh kisi aur se sunain.
If you hide this from your mother and sister and marry this guy....aur phir baad main jab pachtaao gi.........zara socho k tumhari ammi aur behan ko kitni takleef hogi k tum ne un se yeh baat chupai hai. Bahut dukh hoga unahin. Stop being scared...........TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE........and save yourself. Don't let this stupid guy and his family control your life. Woh tumhay stupid se dhamkiyan de rahain hai..aur tum dar rahi ho??? C'mon yaar.....yeh bhi koi dhamki hai...k hum tumhari behan ko online affair k baaray main batadain gay. Khud main confidence paida karo....your family is not your dushman even if they get mad at you for a while. Tell you family.
thx redvelvet...u replied me in detail.. my mom knws but she isnt in healthy that she can shelter me....after they phone my sis and told her i dont like he...she dont like me any more..and if i tell her she will say ke meri tarbiat buri hui hai or yeh ke hum isko aisa nai samjahte the....one day i thought to tell her...to unho ne kaha u r 28 rishte asani se nai milte kuvh oonch neech hoti hai..i dont knw...she said to my mom..it will b all your decision...we will nt say anything...lekin is nature ki hain ke dusre bande ki bat pe trust karen gi or muj pe nai..i want ke main kuch aisa kahon un logon ko ya meri mom ke wo aisi harkat na karen
thx redvelvet...u replied me in detail.. my mom knws but she isnt in healthy that she can shelter me....after they phone my sis and told her i dont like he...she dont like me any more..and if i tell her she will say ke meri tarbiat buri hui hai or yeh ke hum isko aisa nai samjahte the....one day i thought to tell her...to unho ne kaha u r 28 rishte asani se nai milte kuvh oonch neech hoti hai..i dont knw...she said to my mom..it will b all your decision...we will nt say anything...lekin is nature ki hain ke dusre bande ki bat pe trust karen gi or muj pe nai..i want ke main kuch aisa kahon un logon ko ya meri mom ke wo aisi harkat na karen
Look....tumhari sister JAISI bhi ho........tumhari shadi zabaradasti us larkay k saath to nahin karay gi na??????
Tum yeh soch rahi ho k agar ammi ko sab bataao gi to....k woh handle nahin kar paayengi. Lekin yeh socho...k agar tum shadi kar k is larkay k saath pachtaogi.......tab tumhari ammi ko ZIYADA dukh hoga. Why are you wasting your family's time and money for a shadi that you are not interested in????????
Kyoon apni family ka time aur apna time bhi waste kar rahi ho???? Tum khush-qismat ho k tumhay is larkay k sahi nature ka pata chal gaya hai. It's a blessing from Allah that He is showing you this guy's true colors. Think about those girls jin ko shadi ke baad pata chalta hai. Shukar hai tumhay ab pata chal gaya hai....so use your aqal and get yourself out of this mess.
Agar tum apni behan ya ammi se nahin baat kar sakti.......to family main kisi aunti (khala, phuppo, someone) se baat kar k dekho. But in my opinion.....you need to tell your mom. Ammi ko is baat ki itni fiqar nahin hogi k tum 28 ki ho....woh tumhari maa hai.....woh yehi chahain gi ke tumhari shadi kisi achay larkay se ho...bayshak us k liye thora aur intezaar karna paray.
pd..u really r made of nasuk porcelain..:-(
tumne apni kisi friends se baat ki heh..unone kya kaha?
Re: what to do???
whatever u do dont marry this guy... it doesnt matter if u will have problems telling ur sister because its better than getting married to him and having problems for the rest of ur life. dont be scared and just be open and tell her... im sure when she knows everything she wont want u to get married to someone like him anyway
Re: what to do???
hang on.
ur stepsister won't help ur mother with her health treatments if u refuse to marry this dude? or if u do marry this dude?
actually, either way.....her helping ur mother shouldn't be conditional. if it is and she stops and ur mos health suffers....gosh...i hope she gets her hell in this lifetime for that.
It seems you have said something about your sister to him or his mother or some other conversation has happened which they are using to blackmail you.
At any rate do not marry with this loser…his mother seems to be a bad woman also. Simple?
And he was asking for gifts in return? 
Losers look for monitory benefit out of a girl of her family.
Now how to handle situation is based on what they have against you or internet stuff which you mentioned.
Your sister hopefully will understand the situation.
Try not to seek rishta in future like that. Also try to be careful in how you say things to anyone.
Never give out any of your private info to anyone like that…even if that person is going to marry you.
Never give out any of your private info to anyone like that.
Agree. More specifically, as frustrated as you get......try not to badmouth your family to other people.....because in the end, it's your family that will have your back.
Don't marry this guy just to avoid getting into trouble with your sister/mom. That would be one stupid bargain. Don't trade a temporary benefit for a life time of hell. I think you know in your HEART that telling your family the truth is the right thing to do............BUT...........you are afraid to tell them and you're hoping that we on Gupshup will tell you some different solution. But unfortunately, you HAVE to tell your family....it will bring you some peace.
And I'm wondering if you know of any negative things about this guy and his family....that you might be able to use as blackmail if necessary.
Re: what to do???
^ Yes. In this situation, be proactive and tell the sister something which you know about this guy. He/his blackmailer mother deserve to be punished.
Re: what to do???
Can someone summarize please?
Re: what to do???
what is the blackmailer guy gonna get form her exactly that makes him so dangerous?
nd i find it funny how no one here said shes made a big deal about the gift thing ..
Re: what to do???
Is someone blackmailing your sister into helping your mother with her treatments? I dont think so. THen, why would any of this affect your mother's treatments?
Agar tumko apni zindagi barbaad karni hai to jake is banday se shaadi karlo. Uski in harkaton ne tumko kuch samjhaya nahin hai kya? Ke vo is layaq nahin hai ke usse shaadi ki jaye! Do you realize why they're blackmailing you? Its because they were so impressed with your sister's wealth that they think you're sone ke ande dene wali murghi. Shaadi ke baad, vo saari zindagi tumko blackmail karenge aur tumhari sister se paisa nikal vate rahenge.
Dekho, ek jhoot chupaney ke liye sau jhoot bolne parte hein. Tum apni sister ko jakey sab kuch saaf saaf batado aur usse kaho ke I need your help. Please help me get out of this...tum usse is tarha baat karogi to vo kyun nahin sunegi...mein to kisi ki bhi baat sunoon agar koi mujhse pyar se boley. Pyar se pesh aao uske saat because she is not only helping your mother but also is acting as your guardian in this. Tell her that they're trying to marry you because of her money and want to make money off of her...that will do it.
You have no choice now...you have to tell her the truth...koi aur rasta nahin hai tumhare paas. Ya to jhoot bolo...ya phir jakey us nalayaq insaan se shaadi karlo aur apni family ko pareshaniyon mein mazeed daldo.
You worded the Urdu so well. I struggled with it. :k: