when you have to let go of someone you love so deeply just because parents are not willing to accept and approve this relationship?:hinna:
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^ there could be a significant amount of difference between loving someone deeply and a teenage crush. Depends on the specifics of your situation - if there was nothing wrong with the guy (unless you are a rose_petal guy talking about a girl), and your parents just did not agree for reasons of their own, reasons that you disagree with, then yeah thats sad. If you just had a crush on someone, and in your parents' assessment that guy was not good enough for you due to any valid reasons (family, financial etc), quit sulking and move on.
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Give us a bit more info' plz' so we can help you more. :)
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If you're not 12 years old and are actually an adult, then this is what I have to say: If you are old enough to fall in love and love someone 'deeply', you are old enough to tell your parents what you really want. I am so sick and tired of desi kids 'falling in love' and then turning into blubbering idiots when mummy daddy say no, jeezus grow up.
I am so sick and tired of desi kids 'falling in love' and then turning into blubbering idiots when mummy daddy say no, jeezus grow up.
Believe me dude, it's all Bollywood influence, on such desi kids.......
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^ no kidding, bollywood is going to DESTROY any sense of reality in desis.
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am i going crazy or did i jus t read hte same thread on this last night????
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^LOL sara ... i had the same thought ...
aahmed .... couldn't have said it better myself ...
^ no kidding, bollywood is going to DESTROY any sense of reality in desis.
:)
If you're not 12 years old and are actually an adult, then this is what I have to say: If you are old enough to fall in love and love someone 'deeply', you are old enough to tell your parents what you really want. I am so sick and tired of desi kids 'falling in love' and then turning into blubbering idiots when mummy daddy say no, jeezus grow up.
I agree.
You're in love, thats awesome. But now what? If your parents dont agree, think about why they dont agree. Do they have a good reason to reject this guy? If they do, then you have to move on. Otherwise, what is wrong with sticking with the guy?
Parents usually have our best interests at heart, its true. But they're human and can err. So, keep that in mind and see what you can do to make it work. If you cant, then you need to stop mulling over it.
If you're not 12 years old and are actually an adult, then this is what I have to say: If you are old enough to fall in love and love someone 'deeply', you are old enough to tell your parents what you really want. I am so sick and tired of desi kids 'falling in love' and then turning into blubbering idiots when mummy daddy say no, jeezus grow up.
Wow. Excellent stuff dude.
running off to tell someone else this
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You have 2 choices, Rose. Either you try to convince your parents that he's a good guy, will make a good husband, and a good son-in-law, and an overall good addition to your family. Have the guy meet/interact with your family. The other choice is for you to forget about the guy and move on.
Why are your parents against him? What are their concerns. If you don't know, then ask them about it. And take their concerns into considerations. Are their concerns valid? Do their concerns reflect your best interest as their daughter? Or are their concerns simply a reflection of wounded pride and ego at the thought of you daring to marry someone that was not their initial pick?
The reason why my parents are rejecting him is because,according to them,in our backgrounds,parents are supposed to choose partners for their children,and it will be considered wrong if the marriage happens with someone of my choosing.So they want to choose me one by themselves,and aren’t really willing to hear anything about this guy,and i don’t really consider this reason as sensible,or is it? :hinna:
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rose_petal, how old are you?
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Rosie were you aware of this tradition before you fell in love with this guy?
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rose_petal, if the guy is all well and good (in terms of what parents look for, e.g, good character, education, family, etc.,) then you should make them understand that your decision is serious and you aren't just infatuated by this person. Usually consistency and persistency pays off. You don't have to get dramatic and threaten them or run away or lock yourself or stop eating, just try to "connect" with them.
So, I was right about the possibility of the rejection being a parental ego issue. 
Hmm, try connecting with your parents. Try telling your parents that:
“Mom and Dad, you both have done so much for me. You’ve both instilled me with good moral values and I would never consider a guy that does not have the same values that I’ve been brought up with. I have told you about this guy only because I thought that as my parents it was important for you both to know about him. I believed that I had the kind of strong relationship with my parents where you both would consider my thoughts and feelings in an open-minded manner. I have not run away with this guy. I have not crossed my limits. I’m only asking that you meet him, get to know him, and sincerely and seriously consider him with an open mind. Marriage is a life-long commitment and journey. And as my parents who have raised me with so much love, I cannot imagine that you would pressure or force me into marrying and spending the rest of my life with someone that my heart is not into. A marriage is to supposed to be a happy occasion for both the people entering such a union. I’m not going around chasing this guy. The proposal will come from him in a respectable fashion. I only ask that you both get to know him and his family and consider them seriously. Nobody has to know that I knew the guy before the rishta was sent. As the times change, flexibility has to be adapted even in age-old family traditions.”
^I know it’s rather long. But maintain a calm voice. And try to bring about the points from above. When you begin, sincerely praise your parents for all that they’ve done for you. That’s a strong way to connect with them. And then proceed with the rest of your reasons.
The most important thing is that this guy (if he is sincerely interested in you)…then he will have the COURAGE to come to your house with a rishta from himself and his parents in a respectable manner.
I think that will calm your parents down. Because if ALL that you’re doing is talking to your parents about him…and he STILL hasn’t even showed up at your house with a rishta…then you’re behaving like a FOOL. And your parents are justified in not treating this issue seriously.
^In order for your parents to treat this matter seriously…the guy needs to take a step. He needs to come to your house with a proposal. And he needs to make a strong effort at connecting with your parents. So talk to the guy when you have a chance. And ask him if he plans on sending a rishta. Because if the guy hasn’t taken an bold steps yet…then this make it look like you’re the one who is desperately chasing after him. So, get him to propose officially…if he hasn’t done so already.
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Has the dude tried talking to your parents?
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Is the guy willing to marry you? Even so, if you are old enough to be in a committed relationship, you are old enough to tell your parents who you would like to marry and present your case respectfully and with maturity.
Iam 21.
Yes I was aware of this tradition but I thought my parents wouldn’t give that much importance to this traditon and will accept my choice :hinna:
Yes,he is willing to marry me.Actually it’s the same tradition in both of us’ families,and his mom also wants to choose one by herself.