Re: what to do
Saadia, first of all, my heart breaks for you and I pray that things work out for you and your daughter.
Secondly, DO seek counseling, don't see at as a source of weakness or shame, even the best of us need some support sometimes. Talking to a desi friend will more likely hurt than help simply because us desis get very emotional and can't see things rationally. A counselor will give you unbiased advice. A mental health professional isn't out there trying to get you hooked on drugs so you keep coming back, a good therapist can really help you heal mentally.
Lastly, I'm sorry, but it's almost a good thing that you've seen this side of him BEFORE you got married. He is obviously a typical desi mama's boy who will pick his mama over you every chance he gets. It's better to have wasted four years of your life and seen this instead of wasting more precious time. I know it's easy for me to say, but move on, work towards breaking off from this weak and pathetic excuse for a man. G*D D*MN desi men, always first to fall in love but when it comes time to put their money where their mouth is, they ALWAYS go running to mama's f**king palloo.