Re: what to do
its a crazy msg but i m very sad after reading this....
i feeling so much for u especially for ur daughter
Re: what to do
salaam sadiaa ji,
so sorry to hear about ur situation, may Allah give you patience and help you to deal with it...
seeing a cousellor/ therapist.. its entirely up to u, if u think it would help, i say go for it... i think its better to talk to a stranger than to a family member or even a friend bcos they dont judge and theres no threat of the news spreading... my friend suffered from depression and thru counselling she got better & got thru her situation..it wasnt cos the therapist gave great advice, it was just that she needed someone to listen to her without telling her wot to do...
I hope life gets easier for u...b strong remember if Allah brings u to it He will help you through it
loe and duas xx
Re: what to do
Saadia
I am so sorry to hear the situation that you are in. May Allah make everything easy for you and your little one soon Ameen. Unfortunately life isn't easy and we have to make the best of it during our short stay here. I know nothing anyone says to you here will change all that has happened but inshaallah one day there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Your in my duas. Stay strong and hang in there.
For one thing, they’ll make sure every other desi they know gets to hear the story.
Re: what to do
^ maybe that's not such a bad idea. if everyone gets to know the guy is a loser
Thank you to all of you extremely caring people. I had to leave work early yesterday because I felt if I held in the tears any longer I was going to explode. I know everyone goes through heartache at some point in their lives...But I have been dealing with it over and over and over again my entire life. And honestly I didn't think that this guy would do this to me, since he was very well aware of eveyrthing I had been through in my life and promised to never hurt. I truly believed him.
For all those that suggested I reason with him and make him understand. Trust me I have tried in every way I know how. Talking, emailing, texting, crying, reminding him of all his promises, having his friends talk to him everything....but nothing has helped. Infact, while me and my daughter are having such a difficult time dealing with this and all depressed, he has moved on. Hanging out with friends and siblings, like nothing ever happened. That's it, four years, promises, time spent together all of it is gone over night. So there is no way he will understand...
I am going to see a therapist this weekend. I am hoping she will be able to help me in some way. If you guys can, please spare a few seconds and pray for my daughter and I. I would really appreciate it.
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Sadia you are in my prayers. May Allah grant you Sabr. Ameen.
Re: what to do
Surely you will be in prayers Saadia. May your soul find peace and happiness.
I think you are off to a good start. Mourning but also realizing that the past 4 years was a waste of time. THAT is exactly what is to be mourned - the waste of time. Not the guy himself since he turned out to be wanting his mommy more than anything else.
TRy to start thinking about the future. You dont NEED a man to be a complete person. Picture some happy things about your life with your girl, take her to a park or something special, just you and her. You will ALWAYS have her and you always have yourself. So maybe try some time soon to do something that you would both enjoy together.
Re: what to do
Saadia, first of all, my heart breaks for you and I pray that things work out for you and your daughter.
Secondly, DO seek counseling, don't see at as a source of weakness or shame, even the best of us need some support sometimes. Talking to a desi friend will more likely hurt than help simply because us desis get very emotional and can't see things rationally. A counselor will give you unbiased advice. A mental health professional isn't out there trying to get you hooked on drugs so you keep coming back, a good therapist can really help you heal mentally.
Lastly, I'm sorry, but it's almost a good thing that you've seen this side of him BEFORE you got married. He is obviously a typical desi mama's boy who will pick his mama over you every chance he gets. It's better to have wasted four years of your life and seen this instead of wasting more precious time. I know it's easy for me to say, but move on, work towards breaking off from this weak and pathetic excuse for a man. G*D D*MN desi men, always first to fall in love but when it comes time to put their money where their mouth is, they ALWAYS go running to mama's f**king palloo.
Haha.. that's exactly what I was going to say. Not only that but make the gossip much more spicier so that they enjoy spreading it. And every desi who gets to hear the story will make sure to share it further with whoever they know until it is known by all the desis in the city or even in other cities whether they directly know the family or not.
Apart from that, most of them will come to offer some help but the real intention behind that offer for 'help' will be to know every technical detail of the situation which they might have missed and have their boring lives filled with more fun.
What do you think?
For one thing, they'll make sure every other desi they know gets to hear the story.