my husband is saying if my due date is before his sisters wedding date, then he will come for 2 weeks for me and then hel take my first daughter back with him to pak and then il be able to fully concentrate on my new arrival until april when im back.
i hate this. how can i make him see i want her with me i dnt care if he thinks hes doing me a favour. he says he misses her too, i understand but fathers are used to this kinda arrangements, its the mothers who are emotionally weaker to be without their kids especially as shel be only year and half....i cant live without her for even a day and he wants to take her back 3months before i come bk.
what to do, new dilemma every frickin day....
hello nadz: i didn't completely get your question, but as i got is that your husband is taking back your daughter and he told you to focus on the new baby arriving in this world? right? Please tell me that is there anyone in Pakistan who could care your daughter there? I mean there might be some woman, but is there anyone about which you can say that she will better care your daughter?
hey, well nothing been mentioned since. i did jokingly say that i cant wait to go with my daughter AFTER the birth, both kids in prams and just taking a long walk in the park....he didnt say anything just said yeh if u can get ur fat bum off the setteee.....(Joke) So am hoping he understood from that shes staying with me...anyway, pray for me pls.
he did say how unwell i was after birth, i may have been but hey it was my first baby....everyones the same right....im sure itl be easier now and even if its not, i dont care, i am a mother and my first daughters is and always will be my priority, jeez im not the first woman to have 2 kids the way he was going on.....
For once in my life I have a solution which I think you might listen to nadz
Tell hubby ok .. I am going away for 2 days and you look after my daughter in Pk of course and if you manage it then fine if not then I will take her
I offered this proposal to a kanjoos family friend who said to his wife you go to Pk but leave 2 of their 3 boys (All under 6) with me (as in the father)
He was only doing it to emotionally blackmail her from not going to Pk and him saving on money
Hah the dude had a shock when his wife left 2 of the kids and went to the doctors, he booked the tickets now :)
Oh and I have an inkling too that when you and your daughter do go the Uk and 2nd baby is born
You will be posting a thread named aptly "Husband has left me alone whilst he is enjoying [EMAIL="SIL@s"]SIL@s wedding with me holding the babies(plural) :)
There is no point me saying the same thing as everyone else ... especially since you know what you want ... you said it in the very first post ...
What you need to learn is the ability to get your way, remove the fear that you have and balance your life to instill confidence in your in-laws that you are in charge of your own life.
Get your husband on your side ... tell him what is going to happen with you and your daughter and say that is final ... There is no reason for a little girl to attend a wedding - it will be more important for her to see her new sibling and bond. Use this argument with him ... Let him go to Pakistan for the wedding, but tell him to come back straight away ... Show him that you care for him, but don't act soppy and meek ... dictate this to him ... Believe there is so much you can learn from hareem01 ... She is a master at this game.
There is no point me saying the same thing as everyone else ... especially since you know what you want ... you said it in the very first post ...
What you need to learn is the ability to get your way, remove the fear that you have and balance your life to instill confidence in your in-laws that you are in charge of your own life.
Get your husband on your side ... tell him what is going to happen with you and your daughter and say that is final ... There is no reason for a little girl to attend a wedding - it will be more important for her to see her new sibling and bond. Use this argument with him ... Let him go to Pakistan for the wedding, but tell him to come back straight away ... Show him that you care for him, but don't act soppy and meek ... dictate this to him ... Believe there is so much you can learn from hareem01 ... She is a master at this game.
thanks, psyah-we are living in pak at the moment, so he cant come back for the baby after the wedding. more as in, il go back. he may come pick me up. i canty travel with 2 kids under 2 alone due to air travel regulations, so if he doesnt come, good for me, il stay there for good lol.
I dont know, he wont take her, ive made it clear. He did say if my dates were before her wedding date he may want to bring her for the wedding....well my dates are almost the same, just 2 day difference, so he cant. and i wont let him.
thing is, hes not all bad, i dnt know what to do if say he argues with me about this, shall i leave him? as in just stay in the uk and he stays here. im sooo close to thinking about taking all my gold with me too, just incase lol, or should i come back, his sis will be married by then, he woudlve had 6months without me, maybe hel e different? meri qadar shaid ai?
Hi nadz, Remember Those who believe in Allah, they do not afraid. Put your all burdens on the shoulders of Allah, he has the best solution of everything. You need to be careful with your new one....... your sadness and your tension may cause a harm for him/ her..... So trust in Allah. He will solve your all problems.
Forget your husband, forget yourself: think of your children and their relationship to each other. All your first daughter going to see is that as soon as this new baby comes along, he/she gets ALL of Mama's attention, and daughter #1 is SENT AWAY from Mama! This will create terrible (and completely understandable) jealousy, sibling rivalry. Don't let this happen. Everybody needs Mama.
You have a truly dysfunctional family, sorry to say. But then again, maybe Allah SWT put people like you on Earth to remind others how blessed they are... :)
Forget your husband, forget yourself: think of your children and their relationship to each other. All your first daughter going to see is that as soon as this new baby comes along, *he/she gets ALL of Mama's attention, and daughter #1 is SENT AWAY from Mama! This will create terrible (and completely understandable) jealousy, sibling rivalry. * Don't let this happen. Everybody needs Mama.
This. The phuppo's wedding will last only a couple of days...during which your daugther might be distracted by the excitement, etc. But after the wedding....it's gonna be harder to keep her occupied. She's gonna miss her crazy mommy....and wonder if the baby is more important than her. And this is a point your parents can bring up when husband comes to visit you in England. For now though....just play it cool. Maybe let your parents do the talking when the times comes.
You have a truly dysfunctional family, sorry to say. But then again, maybe Allah SWT put people like you on Earth to remind others how blessed they are... :)
^^ unbelievable, can someone seriously say that, itna gharoor, astaz-fi-allah
Be scared of the time Icesould when allah (khuda-na-khwasta) will take the blessing away from you..
^^ unbelievable, can someone seriously say that, itna gharoor, astaz-fi-allah
Be scared of the time Icesould when allah (khuda-na-khwasta) will take the blessing away from you..
Ok it was cold, but I admit it was funny. It made me chuckle. Now Nadz can be endearing at times and I hope things work out for her....but man the woman complains so much!
Ok it was cold, but I admit it was funny. It made me chuckle. Now i like Nadz....but man the woman complains so much!
Sorry revelvet, I didn't think so...I think nadz has her own issues too, lakin ppl from dysfunctional families are no joke, if you have not seen any around you tu let me tell you each person from a dysfunctional family can take his/her own family to the dogs. I have seen so many around me and who suffers the most, the kids, so my heart goes out to such families. I have told nadz the same thing myself in one of the posts, but please comparing hers' to a blessed family is no joke.