my husband is saying if my due date is before his sisters wedding date, then he will come for 2 weeks for me and then hel take my first daughter back with him to pak and then il be able to fully concentrate on my new arrival until april when im back.
i hate this. how can i make him see i want her with me i dnt care if he thinks hes doing me a favour. he says he misses her too, i understand but fathers are used to this kinda arrangements, its the mothers who are emotionally weaker to be without their kids especially as shel be only year and half…i cant live without her for even a day and he wants to take her back 3months before i come bk.
he said im being emotional not practical, and why dont u think of me im her father, and if it was up to me i woudnt be sending u at all, why cant u have kid here blahhh blahhhh, and if it wasnt her wedding it wudnt matter but he wants daughter here fro wedding....
Sending her? She is NOT A PARCEL!!!! YOU ARE HER MOTHER, do not allow anyone to take your child for 3 months. It's actually quite a cruel thing, besides he will not be able to do everything you do for her...a mother knows her child's needs best...
I would never send my child away to a foreign country without being there to at least supervise how she is being treated/fed/handled/taught...i'm a bit obsessive and overprotective like that....God knows what could happen...don't do it...
he will come get her, as in he will come for my delivery and then take her back with him i dnt want him to. but how do i explain. i have tried. he says im being tooo emotional.
he said im being emotional not practical, and why dont u think of me im her father, and if it was up to me i woudnt be sending u at all, why cant u have kid here blahhh blahhhh, and if it wasnt her wedding it wudnt matter but he wants daughter here fro wedding....
i dont care for the above.should i....
Wha a edited!
You should have told him, if it were up to me, I wouldn't have married you at all. I hate when men impose their God given rights on women. A-holes.
If I were you, I would have kicked him in the nuts and left. You shouldn't have agreed to come to Pakistan but it's too late now. It sounds like he is trying to trick you into staying there by keeping your daughter there. O this is horrible! Again, the problem could be the fact that he is jobless right now and every little thing seems like a bigger issue to him. He wants to feel like man, let him feel like a man. I would say let the daughter stay there. If you can't stay away from your daughter for a few months, you have to do what he says.
You are pregnant and he is jobless, it's a recipe for disaster.
You should have told him, if it were up to me, I wouldn't have married you at all. I hate when men impose their God given rights on women. A-holes.
If I were you, I would have kicked him in the nuts and left. You shouldn't have agreed to come to Pakistan but it's too late now. It sounds like he is trying to trick you into staying there by keeping your daughter there. O this is horrible! Again, the problem could be the fact that he is jobless right now and every little thing seems like a bigger issue to him. He wants to feel like man, let him feel like a man. I would say let the daughter stay there. If you can't stay away from your daughter for a few months, you have to do what he says.
You are pregnant and he is jobless, it's a recipe for disaster.
Both are equally immature and egoistic as each other. I say a match made made in heaven.
noooo its not him being a man by saying if it was up to him....otherwise he couldve made me stay. alot of men do. im trying to see the positive that atleast hes letting me go, just like he tries to see the positive that i came to pak. its give and take. i can understand his feeling as her father too, but i feel mothers have first right. am i wrong. theres nothing i do that no one else cant do, shes alrite with everyone, fam takes care of her. but i want her with me i want my kids with me. theres no debate. thiong is he doesnt see my point he sees me as being an over emotional wreckt whose just getting her own way...
Please don't give your daughter to your husband. Your daughter is too little she will not be able to stay without her mom.
he doesnt understand this, he sees this as emotional. and as yet she doesnt say mama or even know im her mum, not in the sense that others do. shes a happy child mashallah goes to everyone. can be annoying for me to see her happier with say her chachus and phupo.....
If it is important to have your daughter at her phupho's wedding, why isn't it important to have you (bhabi) there as well? And by that token, why don't they postpone the wedding until you come back to Pakistan so you all can be a part of it?
Also, given that your husband is looking for a job, your MIL and SIL work, who does he suggest look after your child? Personally, I wouldn't send my daughter that far away for that long.
How it possible that a child does NOT know knew her mum? Please stop deluding yourself...unless you totally neglect her, at the end of the day a baby always wants his or her mommy.
also, please be realistic about the whole situation, i mean - woah 'at least he's allowing you to go'? For God's sakes your pregnant, you need emotional support...yes you need your parents just like he does in times of need....please both of you be mature about this.
If it is important to have your daughter at her phupho's wedding, why isn't it important to have you (bhabi) there as well? And by that token, why don't they postpone the wedding until you come back to Pakistan so you all can be a part of it?
Also, given that your husband is looking for a job, your MIL and SIL work, who does he suggest look after your child? Personally, I wouldn't send my daughter that far away for that long.
they want me there too, but its my decision to go. with my daughter, hes trying to fight for her. it may be more to do with him missing her than him wanting her at the wedding.
How it possible that a child does NOT know knew her mum? Please stop deluding yourself...unless you totally neglect her, at the end of the day a baby always wants his or her mommy.
also, please be realistic about the whole situation, i mean - woah 'at least he's allowing you to go'? For God's sakes your pregnant, you need emotional support...yes you need your parents just like he does in times of need....please both of you be mature about this.
he doesnt understand emoptional support, he says most girls go to their inlaws house, and its not always her parents who are there in times of need, esp those in other countries..for eg my sis in laws all in uk their parents werent with them.....
he says sochlo..but if my dates come before wedding, theres a chance he may come to uk and he will tell me he wants to take her back with him.... its not something he said he will def do. if he tries to force it, i may just stay there for good. he wont see her that way,.at all.
Just stop talking or worrying about this. He's said it, so fine, just have no opinion on it.
You are going back with your daughter, you will have the other one there with or without him. Just see what happens first, he may not even come back for the birth and if he does and then wants to take your eldest back with him, you can have the 'I want her to stay with me' argument then. You're not going to change his mind about it right now.
i say dont argue with your husband yet and let the time come first...
....since he knows you hate to live in pakistan so I think he is tricking you and wants to make sure you come back just incase if you decide not to come back after second child
Just stop talking or worrying about this. He's said it, so fine, just have no opinion on it.
You are going back with your daughter, you will have the other one there with or without him. Just see what happens first, he may not even come back for the birth and if he does and then wants to take your eldest back with him, you can have the 'I want her to stay with me' argument then. You're not going to change his mind about it right now.
yes and then most likely he will leave. and leave me. and tell me to stay in uk forever.