Hi everyone. So a question- what do you all do when your work colleagues issue you with an invite to join them for lunch? I know that the obvious answer is to attend and order a vegetarian or seafood dish but..the problems which I personally have are:
I am extremely particular when it comes to eating out. I only eat at restaurants which serve ONLY halal food so there is no possibility of mixing of utensils or the same grills being used for both halal and non halal food.
In the event that I just go and order vegetarian or seafood (after checking with the restaurant that utensils used are separate etc and even then having doubt in my mind about how accurate this is), I cannot stand the sight/smell of bacon etc. It literally makes me want to be sick. So I can’t very well stop colleagues from ordering it but it would mean me feeling ill and unable to eat at all.
So taking into consideration these factors, I know the best course of action (for everyone) is for me to politely decline. But what can I say? If I say I have dietary restrictions, I will surely get a response saying that vege dishes are available but my problem is also the other foods surrounding me. What is the best way to decline politely and not offend anyone (and not appearing anti social)? Or is there anything else I can do?
I understand my concerns probably sound a bit over the top but it’s just how I am.
I guess you could just say you don't eat at restaurants at all! If they probe more, tell them you are not sure about cross contamination due to your dietary restrictions. You don't have to be specific whether these restrictions are religious or not! People have restrictions due to health reasons too!
I'm glad you asked this question mzprincess88. It's a legit concern to some and needs a savvy answer. I really like how eastern11 brought up cross-contamination, I would have never thought of that!
Thank you all, that helps! I like the idea of making it clear that I am weary of cross contamination. This actually happened to me today...I started a new job this week and today there was a farewell lunch for a girl in our team. I got out of it today due to Ramadan but I was thinking of what to say in the future without appearing to be anti social.
What is the best way to decline politely and not offend anyone (and not appearing anti social)? Or is there anything else I can do?
If you refuse to go to ALL lunches, even ones for people’sbday, farewell etc. period, then eventually you will get a reputation for being anti-social. I think it’s fine for youto say that you do not eat in places that serve any pork products due to therisk of cross-contamination. But in order to appear friendly/social, I think you should take it a step further.
You should let them know that if they go to a restaurant that does not serve pork, such as Indian/Pakistani/Persian etc. restaurants, then you would be more than happy to join them. During conversations, mention names of local places that you do like and ask if they’ve tried them (and if they say “no”,let them know how great the food is etc.). This way, the ball is in THEIR court on whether they are willing to go to a place that can accommodate you.
your issue sounds like paranoia. It can happen to anyone whether explained in religious terms or not.
I eat out a LOT. I go everywhere. I just eat HALAAL...that is only veggie and seafood, or hall certified meat. All operating restaurants have a general cleanliness and hygiene certification.
From a religious perspective, consuming PORK as part of DIET is prohibited. So is consuming paranoia :P
If you have worked in the restaurant industry you will notice that utensils are GENERALLY not shared even between different types of raw meat in the kitchen. Veggie/ Seafood and red meat utensils are hardly shared if EVER. So even if they are shared, you are not consuming PORK. You are only imagining some microbiological part of pork in quantity of microscopic spec.
On the other hand, if you see how a lot of HALAAL kitchens operate in the restaurants, id be disgusted by their hygiene habits in food preparation. You really shouldn't eat out anywhere
Thank you all, that helps! I like the idea of making it clear that I am weary of cross contamination. This actually happened to me today...I started a new job this week and today there was a farewell lunch for a girl in our team. I got out of it today due to Ramadan but I was thinking of what to say in the future without appearing to be anti social.
You should definitely go and have a soft drink, juice etc. Sometimes these lunches are held at the office itself. In that case, bring your own food and join in. If you don't want to use restaurant glasses for drinks, ask them to pour your drink in a disposable one. The bacon issue is a tough one though in case you go out ( don't know how often such meats are ordered in the office, never seen it except if people are getting a BLT sandwich or something). You may see other people consuming it and feel ill at ease. Everyone has their demons. You should be comfortable in your environment.
You could suggest a Vegan or vegetarian restaurant. I don't know if Vegan restaurants serve alcohol (if that's an issue). But that way you could join in without bringing up religion.
your issue sounds like paranoia. It can happen to anyone whether explained in religious terms or not.
I eat out a LOT. I go everywhere. I just eat HALAAL...that is only veggie and seafood, or hall certified meat. All operating restaurants have a general cleanliness and hygiene certification.
From a religious perspective, consuming PORK as part of DIET is prohibited. So is consuming paranoia :P
If you have worked in the restaurant industry you will notice that utensils are GENERALLY not shared even between different types of raw meat in the kitchen. Veggie/ Seafood and red meat utensils are hardly shared if EVER. So even if they are shared, you are not consuming PORK. You are only imagining some microbiological part of pork in quantity of microscopic spec.
On the other hand, if you see how a lot of HALAAL kitchens operate in the restaurants, id be disgusted by their hygiene habits in food preparation. You really shouldn't eat out anywhere
I do the same thing as you while eating out, but the OP is not condemning others, instead asking for advice in a situation she does not feel comfortable in. We should try and find a solution. But thanks for explaining about how the restaurant industry works. It puts my mind more at ease.
I’m not fussy about halal/haram meat so might not be able to relate but isn’t it a little OCD if you don’t eat seafood/vegetarian and also have problems with others eating bacon? How do you live in a Western country with that mindset?
I guess you can tell your coworkers that you only eat at halal places and suggest some places to them.
When i joined my company i told them that i prefer halal food only. Since they whenever we have team lunches, our TL send out a list of restaurants to chose from. I read their reviews (halal options of course) and then i send the reply.
One of the reason that this approach is working out for me is that I live in a city which has a lot of halal restaurants, so its not a problem for my team to choose out of thsoe resturants.
Really nothing wrong in sticking go ur preference in terms of avoiding pork. That is what your preference is. Let them know you won't be able to join if pork is served. And that any restaurant that does not serve pork you will be happy to go to.
I am quite fussy when eating out and very paranoid about cross contamination, there wil always be utensils and pans which get contaminated. I don't think it is OCD to be careful on this matter.
But don't keep refusing the lunch offers, will definitely come across as anti social. Either choose a halal restaurant or speak to restaurant beforehand about contamination issues.
your issue sounds like paranoia. It can happen to anyone whether explained in religious terms or not.
I eat out a LOT. I go everywhere. I just eat HALAAL...that is only veggie and seafood, or hall certified meat. All operating restaurants have a general cleanliness and hygiene certification.
From a religious perspective, consuming PORK as part of DIET is prohibited. So is consuming paranoia :P
If you have worked in the restaurant industry you will notice that utensils are GENERALLY not shared even between different types of raw meat in the kitchen. Veggie/ Seafood and red meat utensils are hardly shared if EVER. So even if they are shared, you are not consuming PORK. You are only imagining some microbiological part of pork in quantity of microscopic spec.
On the other hand, if you see how a lot of HALAAL kitchens operate in the restaurants, id be disgusted by their hygiene habits in food preparation. You really shouldn't eat out anywhere
This.
I'd be more worried about eating at Halal restaurants. My dad used to own a servicing company yearsssss ago in Chicago. His company serviced majority of the restaurants on Devon Ave which is where you'll find majority of the desi halal restaurants.
My dad refuses to eat at DESI/HALAL restaurants. He will NOT go. He'd rather have fries and ketchup at McDonald's than eat at a desi restaurant. The level of hygiene is that bad according to what he's seen in their kitchens. Of course, since we haven't seen it with our own eyes, we are less grossed out. The Health department has shut down several "halal" restaurants throughout the years here.
Now, about the situation with eating out...lady...you will have to get over it at some point because its everywhere. Also, no one eats platefuls of bacon during lunch hour. Most will have burgers or quick sandwiches and call it a day. I've usually seen my colleagues eat turkey, chicken and beef sandwiches...sometimes there's a little bacon (and I'd only know this if I reallyyyy paid attention to their plates of course) but I don't see them load it on and get down n dirty with it. Its not really my concern what they're eating...who cares?
BUT here is what I used to do when I first started working:
Ordered desserts
Ordered smoothies or shakes that would fill me up
Told them I just don't eat out much (this was because of other issues). This idea was actually pretty well received at an old job...a group of 6 people joined me in home lunches and looked at it as a way to save money. They even tried my mom's daal chawal which is dayyum good.
Got them to try a place I liked (this was a lot of fun). We went to a middle eastern restaurant first and then later a Pakistani one that ended up becoming a regular delivery for us. Butter chicken was a must every 2 weeks.
Also, restaurants are becoming increasingly aware of dietary restrictions. One place I go to will actually cook your food in a separate wok than everyone else's if you ask them so there is no cross contamination. You can call ahead and let them know if you want...this stuff is not a big deal anymore...tons of ways to work around if you want.
our work is always mobile so this issue does not concern us.
but religious, dietary reasons should be good enough to stay away. If you do your job well there isn't a reason to fear being labelled as "anti-social". Who knows, maybe others will also start shying away from these useless lunches
I still don't get why one can't be forthright about the pork issue. It's against your belief system. I think at least in US, they would absolutely respect that. Especially in the workplace, where any form of discrimination is a no no.
